if your gf/wife earned more than you do...

[sardonic wench]

how would you feel if your girlfriend/wife makes more money than you do?

what would you do about it?

what if she earns 3-5 times more than your salary? how would you feel about it?



[This message has been edited by sardonic wench (edited 08-01-2000).]

[batang uliran]

I will not have a problem with it. My wife earns a shade less than I do. If she earned 3 to 5 times what I did, well, that's a lot of money and I may even be happier!

[chick-boy]

that's what my situatin is right now with my gf :D
buti na lang that my gf is very supporting and we treat our incomes as one! http://www.pinoyexchange.com/bleh.gif :)
1 for all and all for 1 ... ika nga! http://www.pinoyexchange.com/evil.gif

[TNT2bluz]

Be a gigolo. :D

[KuyaDanny]

My reaction would depend more on how she handled the situation rather than the situation itself.

Does she nag me continually about it, and think I'm a loser because I make less money than she does?

Does she insist on making all the spending decisions on the grounds that "most of it is her money, anyway"?

Does she measure my worth as a person by the money I make?

Does she equate money with power and therefore want to have the upper hand in most matters?

If so, then that's not a good thing.

But if she chooses to deal with it another way, recognizing that our partnership is equal, complementary, and involving skills, feelings, and assets worth far more than our earnings, then the situation is totally fine by me.


[This message has been edited by KuyaDanny (edited 08-01-2000).]

[virgo14]

well, my brother (who i hope never stumbles upon this :D) makes less than his girl. when i asked him about it, he just shrugged it off. but...my sister's instinct (meron ba non?) told me otherwise. anyway, they're just starting out so i don't think it's a big deal. yet. but something tells me it would be an issue for him. yun lang! :)

do you want female opinion too? eg. how would women feel if they earned more than their partners? :)

[KuyaDanny]

Thanks for asking the question virgo14. I'd like to hear from the women, too.

[sardonic wench]

since i started this thread, i might as well be the first one to answer.

since i do earn more than my bf, it actually feels weird. he hates the fact that i like spending money on expensive restaurants and he doesnt really like it when i pay for him.

i guess if we do get married (*gasp*) the income i earn will probably post a big problem. i've seen this issue between my parents and i didnt like it.

personally, i would like the guy to earn more than i do (or equal) just to avoid this scenario.

[badtzmaru]

interesting topic.

this really only becomes an issue when the man is insecure about something.

if the girl makes more, that's simply less money for the man to spend on her and is essentially a positive thing, not negative. if the girl can afford her own clothes, jewelry, food, etc., there's absolutely no excuse for the man to be mr. wallet all the time. unless, of course, the woman gives off negative vibes about this income issue, which isnt rare, the man shouldnt even give it a thought.

the problem arises when the man feels threatened by this scenario because he may feel like HE HAS NOTHING TO OFFER the girl and develop an inferiority complex. he also needs control by wielding the deep pockets so to speak.

if the man is confident, ie, she wants ME, not the HANDOUTS i represent, then there should be no problem with this arrangement. also, as long as the girl doesnt make an issue of it, it's easier for the man to overcome the initial mental obstacles.

if men & women are equal, why should the man always shoulder the financial burdens? the answer is, they shouldnt. if the woman has an income, she should play by the same rules as the man does.

when they go out to eat, the man pays sometimes, kkb sometimes, and the woman pays sometimes. this is only natural & logical and it will balance out.

sardonic, if you play it off well, your boyfriend should
be able to get over this. in other words, by boosting his
ego in other areas, the income disparity can be dulled.
it's as simple as not letting money call the shots. it's ultimately an issue between the peoples' perceptions of their worth to themselves and to each other.

[guapa]

i see no problem with this. my salary is 2 times more than my husband's but it doesnt bother him or me. we also both work hard in our other business and we work as a team so the feeling for both of us is equal pa rin. i don't act as if i call all the shots because i got a higher salary. we always see to it that money should NOT be a reason to start a fight nor should be made an issue in our relationship.
NGEEHH... parang mali yata yong unang post ko.

[bagyoboy]

I would learn from her - see what she's doing different. The fact that she's earning more means that she must be giving more service. I would take it as a challenge to improve myself.

[tazbivr]

Originally posted by bagyoboy
I would learn from her - see what she's doing different. The fact that she's earning more means that she must be giving more service. I would take it as a challenge to improve myself.

^^^^ The definition of a man.

Just in addition "And if I fail then love her the more I will for every jewel needs a case or a finger to emblazon the world with it's brilliance".

[payaSo]

The Working Filipino

...where the real Romeos roam.