Single Parents [Merged]

[Lolita]

This thread is for the single mothers in this board.

Let us talk about or lives, loves, suffering, sorrow, happiness and joy.

Let us talk about how we came to be single mothers struggling in a dog-eat-dog world.

Let us talk about our child (or children) who makes us happy and makes us forget our sorrows whenever we see their smiling faces.

Let us talk about the trials we went through as single mothers.

Let us talk about new beginnings and starting all over again.

Let us talk about finding love again.

Let us talk about getting hurt (for the second or third time around).

Let us talk about anything under the sun. :)

[pinkmoon]

cong better not have the nerve to post in here...hehehe

[JoYcE`TiK]

hi lolita :) i was a single mom. for 3 1/2 months.. then i married. my son's 4 1/2 months now. bilis 'no? heehee.

[rampage]

HEY LOLITA, TOOK YOUR ADVICE ANG SHIPPED OUT OF CONG'S THREAD.IT WAS GETTING BORING ANYWAY...

SO THERE,IM TWENTY ONE AND IM STILL IN SCHOOLAND IM A MOM. I HAVE AN EIGHT MONTH OLD LITTLE BOY NAMED MIGUEL.
HIS DAD IS OUT OF OUR LIVES AND I DONT ONLY MEAN THAT I DIDNT MARRY HIM- HE COULD HAVE DISSIPATED INTO THE OZONE BY NOW AND I COULDNT CARE LESS. THAT'S HOW MUCH I DONT WANT TO BE WITH HIM.IL SEND YOU A PM WHY NA LANG.

I DIDNT REALLY SUFFER MUCH.I DIDNT GET HELL FROM MY PARENTS.THEY WERE DISSAPOINTED AND MAD, IM SURE BUT I NEVER GOT IT.NOW THAT WE HAVE MIGUEL,THEYRE EVEN THE ONES WHO TAKE CARE OF HIM WHILE IM IN SCHOOL AND AT WORK.

I LIVE A PRETTY NORMAL LIFE.I STILL GO OUT.I LOOK PRETTY MUCH THE SAME.EVEN BETTER ACCORDING TO MOST OF THE PEOPLE I KNOW.

YUN NGA LANG MINSAN NAKAKAFRUSTRATE KASI PARANG KAHIT DI NAGSASALITA YUNG FAMILY KO ITS LIKE THERE STILL IS THIS "SUMBAT" YOU KNOW?DO YOU EVER GET THAT FEELING?

[JoYcE`TiK]

rampage: i know that sumbat feeling!! parang wala ka nang ipagmamalaki sa family mo. you feel like a robot na lang na whatever they want you to do, you do. like school, for example. i don't really want to go to school yet, i want to spend time with my family muna.. eh kaso my mom wants me to go to school na kaagad!! i'm thinking kc family now, school in two or three years.. at least medyo malaki na anak ko. and he doesn't have a yaya naman kc eh, so i have to be full-time mom. --yuck, nagkwento ba-

neway, it gave me that motivation to succeed in my planned career. so whatever negative they give, i'll exude positively.

btw, my son's dad is nakakalat sa mga gimikan dyan in pinas. talk abt irresponsible!! he doesn't even call his son 'no!!

how did you get your son's name?

[Lolita]

Those were the two things I dreaded when I got pregnant.

My Mom has high regards for me and she trusted me. That's why I felt really terrible when I got pregnant. It's like telling my Mom that she cannot trust me anymore and getting myself pregnant was breaking the trust between us. But oh well... tapos na yon and we cannot do anything about it. Libog is libog! :)

Actually, yun lang naman ang hate ko about the whole thing. And the thought that everybody you know is talking behind your back like. "Malandi kasi, nabuntis tuloy." I should know, ganun din ako dati when I hear about some girl I know who got pregnant. Na-karma siguro ako.

The dad of my little boy is still nearby and we do communicate. He visits our son and takes him home with him occassionally. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. Lahat kami masaya. :)

[DELISYUS]

hi girls :)

i am not a single mother pero can i drop by here from time to time??? i would love to learn from you.....ask questions......maybe even provide answers from a different perspective....

and also......get to see pics of your little angels??? hehehehe, am an "expectant mom" kasi eh.....really looking forward to being blessed with my own kids :)

[sabine92575]

i dunno if there has been a thread about single parents in here... tried searching but the search function isn't working...

just wanna know if there are any single parents here, just like me... care to share your experiences? ;)

[Pointless]

Well, I was raised by a single parent... Do my opinions count? :D

[sabine92575]

Pointless - i don't think there would be anything pointless to what you will share, right? :D so, fire on... ;)

[Pointless]

Well, all I can say is that I envy my friends who are raised by both their mom and dad... It really is different to be cared for by only one parent, no matter how much that parent tries... Although it is better to have one loving parent than two dysfunctional ones :D

[sabine92575]

i myself came from a dysfunctional family... yup, it's complete, but we'll be better off if our parents were separated... subconsciously, i guess, this situation had an effect to my decision to remain single... i wouldn't want my son to go through the same painful journey as i did. as u urself put it: it is better to have one loving parent than two dysfunctional ones

[Pointless]

Hmm... It's kinda funny, since my experience has given me a desire to get married and have a complete, because I want my kids to have the things that I never had :)

[sakeena]

i think theres a thread about broken families here...

anywhoo, im raised by a single parent. so what? im cool with that i'm happy, prolly happier than most kids who have a set of parents :) and my moms pretty happy with me. Modesty aside, I think my mom did a fairly good job. :) just bcoz were from a broken family doesnt mean we're gonna suck donnkey b@lls bigtime, right?

[sabine92575]

Pointless - i guess it only goes to show that coming from broken families doesn't all end up in the bad side... it could also lead to some positive outlook in life, like yours :)

sakeena - hi there! i know about that thread... but i really didn't intend for this thread to talk about broken familes (although i wouldn't mind reading other people's experiences about it... i could learn from it :P ), but more on the experiences of raising up a kid alone... the joys and pains of going through the journey of motherhood :) hmmm... just an idea :P maybe you can ask your mom to be a PExer din! hehehe! :D

[maxieGRL]

i was raised by a single parent. i think one of the good things i got from it is that i grew up very independent and strong willed.

when my ex and i parted ways, i was delayed and since it was really, really bad i told myself if i was pregnant he would never know. i would raise my child on my own. he i could always deny that it's his, right??

[sabine92575]

maxieGRL - sana my son will grow up as independent and strong willed as i hope he would be :) by the way, my son's father doesn't know anything about my son... :P

[maxieGRL]

it will all depend on how you raise your son and the circumstances in his life. my friends say, i have a telenovela-like life. i had to be independent and strong-willed to survive.

one thing i can say, my independence and will i got from my mom. she didn't teach me these things, i learned because this is what she showed us growing up. those were the things i saw. she had to, my dad left us for another woman when my mom was pregnant with me, so she raised 3 kids on her own.

buti pumayag yung parents mo not to tell the guy, i told my older sister what i had planned she got angry and threatened to tell my mom. i had to beg her not to. buti na lang i'm not pregnant

[sabine92575]

my mom didn't like it either... and she still doesn't understand why.... manganganak na nga lang ako she was still begging me to get married kahit na mag-separate kami after i give birth... DUH! sagot ko sa kanya, 'mader, ok ka lang! sinayang ko lang ang availability ko!' :P

seriously, there were other reasons why i ended up with this decision. mamamatay akong ako lang ang nakakaalam who the father is... but i don't intend to lie to my son. i'll tell him the truth when he's old enough to understand these things. i'm not angry with the father or anything... as a matter of fact, i'll make sure my son grows up NOT hating his father... i just hope he'll understand why his mom has to make drastic and stupid decisions...

[maxieGRL]

on normal circumstances, my mom would force me to marry the guy. but if i was pregnant on my last scare my mom would just want me to tell my ex. that was it. she would understand why i won't marry the loser.

i'm sure my dad would support my decision not to marry the guy either way, he would gladly take on the financial responsibility of the baby anyway; just so i won't marry the guy.

your son is lucky to have such a strong mother like you.:handsdown:

[sabine92575]

:*) :blushing: :blush: :blush2:

it's way too early to say that... i'm just started my journey... :drive:

but, thank you :)

[pattybee]

Hi everyone. I'm a single parent and proud of it. :)

Been separated from my ex-husband since 1999 and now officially annulled and single again. My daughter is 61/2 yrs old and is as normal as can be. This is probably due to the fact that her father and I try, as much as we can, to give her a normal a life as possible. We don't fight (atleast not in front of her), we don't talk ill about each other to her. In fact, when you ask my daughter about her parents, she'll always say, "they're friends. they don't love each other anymore but they love me!". By the way, I taught her that. :)

Anyway...it's been tough, maybe more than tough even. But I've made it so far and I don't intend to buckle down now. My parents have been very supportive of me (not so much financially because I take care of everything). I know I can run to them anytime I need anything. In fairness to my daughter's father although he wasn't a good husband, he loves our kid so much and would do anything for her. Atleast I don't have to beg him to spend time with her or give her some attention because he readily gives it. Oh and by the way, he shoulders her tuition pala. :) But everything else is mine.

sabine ... i don't mean to interfere but why wouldn't you want your son's father to know that the boy exists? Was the relationship that bad? I'm glad though that you have no intentions of hiding the truth from your son. It's his right to know all about his father. Whether or not they can develop a relationship later on, he has to know. Besides, there will really come a time when he'll start asking.

Here's to you, to me and to all the other single parents out there. Cheers! :cool:

[maester]

hello guys!!
im not a single parent and does not come from a broken family..

but reading your posts here.. all i can say is WOW!!! you guys are such strong women.. kakabilib... being a single parent is not somebody else's fault... and im open to it.. because we can really never tell what the future holds for us.. at least we know that there is this SOMEONE who holds the future for us...

good luck to you and God bless... hope you can raise your kids rightfully.. :)

[sakeena]

sabine my mom doesnt know a thing about computers.. much more about internet... wehhehe

if ever the time comes ill get preggy "accidentally" i prolly wouldnt marry the guy myself... kasi, kung maghihiwalay din kayo, ang hassle pala ng annulment... namatay na yung tatay ko, hindi pa annulled parents ko... grabe. sana divorce na lang..

[sabine92575]

pattybee - ngek :O naliligaw ka din pala dito :P anywayze, it's nice to see you posting here and sharing your experiences being a single parent... as for my son's dad, as i've said it's a pretty long story... and complicated... one story that i only owe to my son... so, i hope you don't mind if i don't answer the question at all... (let's talk about the other thread in the other forum ;) ) one thing's for sure though, i don't hate him and i'm gonna make sure that my son grows up not hating him as well :)

maester - being a parent is a 24 hour job, no coffee break, no holidays... it's hard enough for couples to raise a kid, much more for a single parent... but i get by, with help from family and friends... i'm glad i have them :)

sakeena - just marry for the right reasons :)

[brooder]

hi! i'm a single mom with a daughter who's turning 6 this year. I gave birth to her just after high school when I was 16. her dad was 22 and a college student. Anyway, if there is one solid advice I can give people out there with kids who get pregnant early or single parents, it's this; do not let the situation force you up the aisle. Sometimes, society puts too much pressure on people to do what is conventional. Getting a girl pregnant may be a hurdle in life, but being saddled with an early marriage is like a lifetime thing. annulment ain't so easy. What is important is that my daughter knows I love her and am proud of her, we do stuff together, and we are pretty much best friends. When she asks about a father, I tell her that she is blessed with a gift from God that she may get to pick her father rather than be stuck with a dad she doesn't like. So far we are doing fine, I was able to graduate and work my butt off at a job where I can take my daughter along to see what I see and experience the things I encounter in my work filming documentaries and interacting with people. I teach her independence and pride in herself. I also teach her the difference between moral right and social pressure. That, I believe is one of the biggest things I can ever teach her.

[zarlatora]

hi all. i'm gonna be a single parent soon. :wave:

[Totnak Boy]

To the ladies here like brooder, sabine and pattybee: I really commend your positive outlook in life :) my sister's also a single parent. although she's been able to juggle between career and home, i feel like she's given up hope for a better life for her family. She's living her life one day at a time, and I could only help her in a few ways...

How about you girls, how do you juggle everything? And how do you keep your sights high? :)

[Gabriela]

I have a question lang. Ano yung mga naging advantage when you decided to be single parents? what were the regrets naman (if there was any)?

[gemyl]

hello there!

Ako din single parent for uhmmmm 8 yrs...I was very young when I had my first baby. I was never married, uhmmm buti na lang. Sa ***** I have 2 children na. Mgkasunod. I was so lucky to have parents who supported me and my babies until such time na makapagtapos ako ng studies ko. ***** Im working as a programmer, un first child ko nag aaral na, un second ko special baby sya. Mahirap talaga, kasi I sometimes feel na ang dami kong na miss sa buhay ko, plus wala akong katulong financially para i support ang mga bata. Un ex BF ko married na. He never knew abt the 2nd baby. ***** I dont have plans of marrying yet. I feel na ang dami ko pang dapat gawin, but I do spend some time with special someone.

:D

[gemyl]

Originally posted by Gabriela
I have a question lang. Ano yung mga naging advantage when you decided to be single parents? what were the regrets naman (if there was any)?


***** magiging choice lang yun if kung ndi naman kayo nagkakasundo ng partner mo. kung palagay mo mas better pa na maghiwalay *** kesa magkasama. And ndi reason ang magsama para lang sa baby. Regrets....basically wala....pero minsan you will feel na something is missing.

[gemyl]

Originally posted by zarlatora
hi all. i'm gonna be a single parent soon. :wave:


uhmmmm bakit? :confused:

[gemyl]

ako din single mommy. disappoinment.....sobra.....kaya nga ***** gusto ko mapunan lahat lahat un sa parents ko.

[Gabriela]

Gemyl thanks for the reply. :) Yeah the "something's missing" part is one to look out for. pero at least you have a special someone.

Anybody else cares to answer my Q?

[zarlatora]

gemyl... guy doesnt want involvement, thats why.

but that's okay. my baby and i are going 2 b fine.

[Miguelito]

:D

[DELISYUS]

first and foremost..... since i was born into a family of relatively succesful marriages and strong unions (even if there was a lot of room for improvement in they way my parents handled their relationship... and their kids).... i highly long for a marriage and family myself... and i've always been vigilant about preserving a family (thus, my general distaste for err.. the modern day happenings which our present society tolerates)

then again........ Pointless is right, better one loving parent than 2 dysfunctional ones....

i just hope tho... that people out there would make sure they don't become parents unless they're able to trust that their partner... is someone who not only loves them, but is also one dependable enough to see the relationship and responsibilities thru (syempre, it goes w/o saying sila din dapat ganun)

and i don't really have anything against single parents... but i am kinda against people not thinking twice of becoming one.... since I believe a child needs both parents....

and i also hope.... that just because a woman is a single parent.... won't make the men think that these women are sluts who are just there for the taking (sexually) and not for the marrying...

some thoughts lang po.......

oh, and by the way... i have a deadbeat brother who is also a deadbeat son and who's going to be a deadbeat dad..... and i'm sorry but i really pray the girl he's impregnated would see that he's not going to change anytime soon... and that the best gift SHE can give my future nephew (she's due in August) is to break away from a man who obviously doesn't respect her and who's obviosuly not going to take care of them....

sigh

[Gabriela]

Originally posted by DELISYUS
and i don't really have anything against single parents... but i am kinda against people not thinking twice of becoming one.... since I believe a child needs both parents....

well i'm sure these people hoped for the best in their relationships kaso talagang hindi na maaayos. or, sabi nga ng iba dito, nauna ang landi. yung 2nd reason eh wala talagang inaasahang magandang outcome. it's a relationship that's bound to end sooner or later. syempre if it happens the next time around medyo ibang usapan na yun.


and i also hope.... that just because a woman is a single parent.... won't make the men think that these women are sluts who are just there for the taking (sexually) and not for the marrying...

i also hope. lahat naman ng tao may karapatang lumigaya diba.



and that the best gift SHE can give my future nephew (she's due in August) is to break away from a man who obviously doesn't respect her and who's obviosuly not going to take care of them....


like in this case, obviously you know that this is going to be a disaster. better that she goes through this on her own. i bet kung kaya nya lang mabasa ang future nya, she wouldn't have taken this choice. why don't you tell her then?

[gemyl]

Originally posted by zarlatora
gemyl... guy doesnt want involvement, thats why.

but that's okay. my baby and i are going 2 b fine.


Ahhh....:) Ul be ok! Mga babae pa! hehehehehhe
It's hard pero....with the help of the people around you, you'll be ok. Syempre help from up there
:*)

[Elisha]

It looks like most of the single parents here are women. Are there any single dads out there?

It is unfortunate that things didn't work in your relationships but I think it is a blessing in disguise to the moms for children are a heritage from the Lord.

[Miguelito]

:cool:

[gemyl]

Originally posted by Miguelito
:cool:

looks like we've found 1 heheheehe:D

[DELISYUS]

Originally posted by Gabriela
like in this case, obviously you know that this is going to be a disaster. better that she goes through this on her own. i bet kung kaya nya lang mabasa ang future nya, she wouldn't have taken this choice. why don't you tell her then? [/B]

my 'hipag'? weird kasi if it's going to come from me... since brother ko yung 'asawa' nya.... parang ayokong panagutan yung baby nya... since samin yung lalake....

and actually, we text sometimes (even if we live in the same house) and i do tell her that my brother won't change... and that she shouldn't tolerate such behavior...

kaso nga.... sigh.. buhay nya yun eh...

wala naman nga ako magagawa kung mas mahal nya ang kapatid ko... kesa sa anak nya

[purplemahal]

i'm a single parent ad proud of it!

i had my first baby when i was 19 and got separated when i was 21 kasi the father of my son is getting physical na. i had my 2nd and my twins when i was 22-23 with a different guy but kami pa rin until now.

actually, i'm not ashamed of my situation kaya lang it's hard to look for a job kasi pre-school teacher ako and i tried to apply nun kaya lang they want me to get married kasi it will affect the reputation of the school if they hire someone like me.

[WICKEDsister]

25 already have 2 lil devils separated for almost 2 years now, happy being alone and being being with my kids **** their dad doesnt even give a f--k!!
now looking forward for beeter days, at least i know im tougher than i thought...kala ko kc before im a weakling..wish me luck guys needed that badly!!!

[besuto]

hmm... im abt to be a mom, bt im thinking twice abt it. ewan ko ba, i should consider myself lucky pa nga coz the guy is more than willing to marry me (he'd be honored daw to spend the rest of his life daw with me) and he's financially stable already and i believe that he loves me--in short, nagpo-propose na si kumag, nde ko lang alam kung ano isasagot ko.

ideally, i should say yes dba? of course it'll come as a shock and disappointment to everybody (afterall halos 2 months pa lang kme), bt that would be the least of my concerns...

iniisip ko lang, im not so sure if i love him "enough" to marry him. mahal sa mahal, pero nde ko sigurado kung ganun ko na kamahal. labo ano?

and am i ready to take the responsibility of having a baby?
selfish na kung selfish pero feeling ko, i would have to give up a great deal of myself (lifestyle,opportunities etc) kung magkaka-baby ako or kung mag-aasawa na ko. nanghihinayang lang ako...feeling ko dami pa pwede mangyari sa buhay ko kung nde ko itutuloy. i know myself too well...if i choose to have this baby, i'll end up taking full responsibility of the kid (literally), that id be more than willing to lose myself and pass those opportunities for his/her sake.

am i making sense here? haaay, ewan ko ba. i need some good advice...

[sabine92575]

[B]purplemahal[B] - hi! i also am a single parent, and i'm also teaching college in 2 catholic schools for girls. same as you, i know they'll take me out of the job if the 2 schools should find out that i am an unwed mother. (actually, i was already taken out from another school). i was able to get into these 2 new schools because they didn't know that i have a son. i have not lied to them, it's just that my status wasn't asked all throughout the interview. sad to say, pero even if there's a law that protects single parents from discrimination, reality is, we're still subjugated. i know i can't keep a secret from these 2 schools and they'll soon find out about it, so as early as now, i'm looking for another job.

[sabine92575]

hey you all! i\m also a single mom here... not regetful of what had happened to me... and very happy :)

[foxychick]

single mom here!!!

23 and have 4 kids already....i have 2 boys and 2 girls(twins)

i'm not regretful but sometimes iba talaga if you are free to do everything you want:)

[Seih]

Can a woman be called a mother when in she has not experience yung 9-months na pagdadalantao? What if weeks pa lang, nawala na sya?

[foxychick]

Originally posted by Seih
Can a woman be called a mother when in she has not experience yung 9-months na pagdadalantao? What if weeks pa lang, nawala na sya?


miscarriage or abortion?

......ask ko lang.....

[JD_4_U]

Im a proud single mum, i have a son 8 months today! My pride and Joy.

Got pregnant just weeks after i moved out of my parents, they were very disappointed, wanted me even to abort the helpless soul. But I said even if they never speak to me again i'll never ever can do what they're asking me. So I went my own way, boyfriend not here at that time, he's in the British army and was stationed in Oman. I felt that I was doing it alone but i fought my way, didnt really care what other people say.

Eventually they came to realise that they cant do anything to change my mind. The day after I left work for my maternity leave I gave birth to a little boy... and it happened that it was my mums 55th B-day, when my mum arrived I was already holding Will and I said "Happy Birthday Mum".

Now we're closer than ever. So thats a happy ever after story.

The Dad??? He's still around, were still together and planned to marry.

[sabine92575]

foxychick - motherhood starts at the moment of conception :)

[foxychick]

Originally posted by sabine92575
foxychick - motherhood starts at the moment of conception :)

i know!!! i'm just asking SEIH if she had a miscarriage or abortion!!! you should have given the answer you've given me!!!!


READ PLS!!!!!

[tqclay]

sorry ladies for butting in and this is obviously off topic.. i don't know if this is the right venue to air my concern but i'm pretty desperate and you guys might be the best people to talk to.

anyway, i'm currently dating a woman my age (28) with a 3 year old son. does anybody know how a guy should be able to handle a situation like this? i'm pretty serious about her.. just need some insights about single mothers in general--just to see how a new guy figures in to her current life.

any replies will be much appreciated.
thanks!

[ChiQui]

I'm not a single mom and don't think that I ever counted as one because I got pregnant when I was already engaged to the dad of my baby. But I guess, technically speaking, I counted as one for about two months before we got married...

tqclay...
I guess what you have to remember is that no matter how important you are or will be in her life, she is first and foremost, a mother and her son will always come into play in her life. She won't be as happy-go-lucky as a single girl would be (e.g. you can't just go one spur-of-the-moment dates just like that) because she has a son to think and take care of.

Also, to really get to be a part of her life, her son must like you also. Hindi lang yung nanay ang nililigawan, pati yung anak.

These are just my observations of the single moms that I know...

[tqclay]

QHIQUI..

Hey thanks for the reply chiqui! What you said is so true. I actually already took into account that she's a mom so none of the "spur-of-the-moment" kind of things.

As for her son, I don't know if he likes me hehe.. He's 3 years old and super kulit! I don't know how to treat a 3 year old though..do you spoil him? Be friends with him? Ignore him? Bribe him with gifts? haha!

[ChiQui]

tqclay,

Try to be a friend as well as a father figure to him too. Play games with him, read to him, even sing to him! :) Make sure though that you have permission to do all those things from his mom. :)

[FearLess_Gal]

i am single parent of two pretty girls....that's life talaga mahirap namang magpumilit ng hindi para sayo...it is not my choice but it happened to me kaya kelangan magsumikap to live and eat....

[khatya]

im a single mom also. I have a six months old son. actually, the father of my child and i are married but we separated after 5 months of living together. he just couldnt carry the responsibility and burden of being a husband and a father. he's still young and immature. we're both studying pa. both of us should be graduating this school year. even if i got pregnant at the wrong time, i still managed to graduate on time, i even took my practicum nung kabuwanan ko na. that's how strong my determination is, lalo na ngayon na i have a very handsome (beautiful, i think) son (mukha kcng girl baby ko eh!) his father wont be able to graduate in time, buhay niya tuloy yung nagulo bcoz of not facing his responsibilities. but even though ganun yung ngyari sa lyf nya, i never discouraged him. i nver even pinpointed that kinakarma sya. i even encouraged him to look at things at brighter perspective. i adviced him to treat problems as challenges from God because God trusts us a lot that he allowed big problems to come our way because He knows we can solve all of those problems.

its been very clear to me na wala na kami because we even talked about annulment. but im troubled and confused these past few days because we still make love since 2 weeks ago and we never talked about annulment anymore. I dont know if I still love him. I think, I dont love him anymore. but why do i have the guts to still make love with him when up to now, my principle in lyf is il never do sex with someone who i do not love. i dont know if im just protecting my pride and my female ego or maybe its just because of the reason that he's the only person ive given my self and my whole life. what do you think?

[FearLess_Gal]

@khatya

i guess there's nothing wrong naman making love with ur husband again even ur separated as long na gusto mo pa rin sya e ok lang 'yon basta don't get pregnant again hangga't di pa na sesettle ang problema nyo...(wait pls don't take my advice kung sa tingin mo e mali ako ok!)

[demonique]

hey there..ok..i dunno how to start..HOOO!okay!!

i'm 19 and i'm 5 months pregnant..me and my bf <the dad> are still together but i don't think he'll stay long enough to be the father of my twins..honestly, i hav nothing against single parenting. in fact, i give very high regards to single parents who are doin' well with raising their kids..the thing is, i'm afraid to be alone..i mean, yes, my family will definitely be there to support me through and through..there'll be a "yaya" for sure coz come may, i gotta go back to school to graduate by december..but emotionally, i had been so dependent to my bf..coz b4 i got pregnant, we were so okay.....i mean..it was perfect.....then this happened..

i don't wanna harbour negative thoughts abt my twins coz in the first place it isn't their fault that their dad turned out to be a spineless coward..my family already hates him for that..esp coz my dad even had a stroke coz he was so sad abt me goin' through this alone..

yes, me and my bf are still together but there is not a tiny twinge of hope that he'll stand up for me and the twins..if there is hope, it's just because i'd wanna believe that miracles do happen..he said it's coz he is financially barred to do so, considereing he is the semi-bread winner of his family, and he already has a son from an ex..plus, he is soooo not ready to commit..although i don't want us to get married soon, my family does..and this makes the situation more complicated..

don't get me wrong..i love my kids-to-be..i'm so anxious to know their genders and to see them and hold them right in front of me..but the fear of facing this alone is so hard for me..even the thought of finding somebody new.....man, all i want is the father of my kids, nobody else..

i need your advice..based on your experiences, of course..i know i can pull this through..i just don't know how.....hope u can help me..tnx!

[cmars2]

I'm 20 years old and a month pregnant. I'm happy even if we're(my bf and I) not expecting it. I have no plans of aborting the baby and getting married as well.
:girl:

[orano]

demonique: as to your problem of being emotionally-dependent on your bf - I believe it's all in your mind. you'll realize, once you become a mother, that you are strong. you will be able to do everything that you thought you'd never have guts to do - if and only if for your kids. that's the power of motherhood! :)

never think that you're alone - as you've said, your family is supportive of your situation. don't give in to them pressuring you to get married. marry for the right reasons.

cmars: that's the spirit, girl! some babies are just like that - "unexpected but never unwanted" :)

[demonique]

tnx for the reply..my bf nd i juz talkd abt our situation..gulo ****..coz since my dad had a stroke and my family got so furious, we were havin' our relationship kept secret..meaning, i had to mke excuses to c him and be with him..but my tummy is gettin rili big and tym will come that i couldn't find a legitimate reason to go out..and he was askin' "pano na pag kabuwanan mo na?sa fone nalang tayo?"

i rili don't intend to marry him just yet..not just coz i got pregnant..i want us to marry the way we planned it..kc nakakatakot tlg ang mga situations na ndi suxesful ang marriage dhl nga nabuntis ln un girl kaya minadali..

papers aren't what i needed sana..its his presence..him being ther..but my family was persistent..and they think they are right.....

all i wish is that kahit pano, lam ko naman na we love each other..we'll take things one at a tym..i'm so pressured til now..

lam ko masama for the babies toh but haay.....i just want this to be over.....

[urbanchick]

hi. i'm 20 years old and gonna be a single mom, but matagal pa.. 3 weeks palang akong pregnant. to the older single moms, how hard is it? i'm really scared kasi but at the same time, super excited kahit matagal pa lalabas baby ko. i haven't told my parents yet. i decided to wait for my ultrasound next month. i started drinking anmum yesterday palang and i have to buy pa the vitamins my doctor prescribed. ok lang na wala akong partner, but the fact na walang daddy yung baby ko makes me cry everytime naiisip ko yun. i have friends and family and i know na they will take good care of me. but ang sakit isipin na walang makikilalang daddy yung baby ko. sobrang sad..

[cmars2]

urbanchick We're in the same situation. Di pa rin alam ng parents ko that I'm pregnant but we're planning to tell them after our graduation. Scared rin ako at first pero inaccept ko na lang dahil blessing yan. Anong vitamins ang iniinom mo? Di pa kasi ako nagpapacheck sa OB kaya milk na lang muna iniinom ko.

[b_9904]

i was asking for a single prent thread...hehehe napunta ako sa single mom.

pwede ba guy dito? : )

[xueli]

share lang ako... me plans na kami ng bf ko na sabihin sa parents ko kaso naunahan kami. nahalata ng dad ko *** tummy ko. anyways, umalis ako ng bahay that day they found out. pano ba naman, sabihan ba ako na ipaabort *** baby. nagthreaten din sila na iuuwi ako ng province. anyways, after 3 wks i think, pumunta na ko sa bahay kasama *** relatives ng bf ko. ayun, medyo lumamig na *** ulo nila. they suggested that we don't get married yet. agree naman kami dito kasi wala pang stable job *** bf ko. anyway, we rented a small room and are now living in. medyo mahirap kasi di kami humingi even a cent from our parents. pasanin ko lahat *** gastos since i'm the main breadwinner.

sinabi lang ng isang officemate ko na kapag di kami kasal magiging illegitimate *** baby ko. alam ko naman un kaso he said na hindi na raw un mababago kahit magpakasal pa kami afterwards. ganun ba un? alam ko masusunod din naman *** surname dun sa bf ko once we get married. pero how hard nga ba na asikasuhin to?

eto pala mga vitamins na tinetake ko: amino-vita, fortifer fa, calcium, vit c. *** calcium thrice a day kasi me scolio ako. tas milk twice a day din. my ob didn't recommend any brand ng milk kaya alaska lang iniinom ko. low on budget kasi eh. magkano ba *** anmum and mamacare (350 or 500 grams)?

[kittycat_15]

Originally posted by urbanchick
hi. i'm 20 years old and gonna be a single mom, but matagal pa.. 3 weeks palang akong pregnant. to the older single moms, how hard is it? i'm really scared kasi but at the same time, super excited kahit matagal pa lalabas baby ko. i haven't told my parents yet. i decided to wait for my ultrasound next month. i started drinking anmum yesterday palang and i have to buy pa the vitamins my doctor prescribed. ok lang na wala akong partner, but the fact na walang daddy yung baby ko makes me cry everytime naiisip ko yun. i have friends and family and i know na they will take good care of me. but ang sakit isipin na walang makikilalang daddy yung baby ko. sobrang sad..

hi urbanchick! i have a 5 month old son..without a dad as well...i know its really sad when you think of it...pero try not to be sad, kse mararamdaman ng baby mo yan... i gave birth to him nun 8th month ko pa lang coz i was stressed and i worried a lot about my situation... good thing my son was so strong and brave that hes so healthy and there was no need for incubation... try to look into the brighter side ha, ang sarap magka baby :)

[pattybee]

I'm also a single mom with a 7-yr old daughter. Previously married, now happily annulled. :)

[penarandajc]

I'm 7 weeks pregnant. Prior to that, on and off ang relationship ko with my boyfriend of four years. Because of another girl. When revelation time came, di niya pala kayang iwanan ang isang girl at iniwan niya ako with this responsibility.
My parents are supportive of me even yung family ng bf ko. Kaya lang according to him, hindi na daw niya ako mahal. Just the baby. I spite him pero la na ring magagawa iyon. Masakit pa rin kasi sa dami ng taong binalewala ko para sa kanya, may guts siyang iwanan ako sa sitwasyon na higit ko siyang kailangan.
Sa lahat ng girl na nasa ganitong sitwasyon, sana makita natin yung liwanag na inaasam natin. Blessing na tong baby natin.

[the_BuGs]

question....

Bakit nga pala kayo nakipaghiwalay or hiniwalayan ng BF nyo or Hubby nyo...

[demonique]

Originally posted by the_BuGs
question....

Bakit nga pala kayo nakipaghiwalay or hiniwalayan ng BF nyo or Hubby nyo...

saken..nde ** redi to commit..yun na yung pinak-safe na excuse.....alhtough we're workin' out our relationship now..pero i'm not holding on to the thought that he might change his mind and "panagutan" nya ang mga toh.....

y did u ask??

[CHIN66AY]

im a single mom... my daughter is 5 yrs old. i had her when i was 19 kaya right now nahihirapan ako.

1st issue ko:
my parents are so supportive but its making me feel like im so useless. parang wala akong kahirap-hirap because they treat her like their own... hindi ko tuloy maramdaman ang responsibility ng isang mother.

2nd issue:
... this guy ive been going out with for 8 months now, his mom doesnt like me because may anak na raw ako.

bakit ganun... nababawasan ba ang pagkababae natin when we are single moms? may mga nakasabay ako nagbuntis, they got their child aborted and because walang nakakaalam what they did, they're being spared from this discrimination na "malandi kasi, imoral, etc" its like you're being judged palagi with your past!

oops sorry... ngayon ko lang kasi nakita ang thread na 'to and im so happy siguro meron sa inyong makakaintindi or will share my opinions and complaints?

[the_BuGs]

Originally posted by demonique
saken..nde ** redi to commit..yun na yung pinak-safe na excuse.....alhtough we're workin' out our relationship now..pero i'm not holding on to the thought that he might change his mind and "panagutan" nya ang mga toh.....

y did u ask??


wala lang.. natatawa lang kasi ako sa mga guy na pagkatapos sumaya sa karnal ng pagnanasa at kapag nakabuo eh iiwan na lang ang responsibilidad at sasabihing nde pa sila handa?

[aajao]

i salute single mothers just as how i salute career women. :handsdown:

[demonique]

Originally posted by CHIN66AY
im a single mom... my daughter is 5 yrs old. i had her when i was 19 kaya right now nahihirapan ako.

1st issue ko:
my parents are so supportive but its making me feel like im so useless. parang wala akong kahirap-hirap because they treat her like their own... hindi ko tuloy maramdaman ang responsibility ng isang mother.

2nd issue:
... this guy ive been going out with for 8 months now, his mom doesnt like me because may anak na raw ako.

bakit ganun... nababawasan ba ang pagkababae natin when we are single moms? may mga nakasabay ako nagbuntis, they got their child aborted and because walang nakakaalam what they did, they're being spared from this discrimination na "malandi kasi, imoral, etc" its like you're being judged palagi with your past!

oops sorry... ngayon ko lang kasi nakita ang thread na 'to and im so happy siguro meron sa inyong makakaintindi or will share my opinions and complaints?

alam mo, true ka sa mga kasabayan mong nagpapa-abort na wlang nakaalam..lamo un?parang nakakainis lang un iba na magjjudge sa'yo..kung alam *** nila kung what u had to put up with just to "HAVE THE BALLS" to keep the baby..

as for the mom of your bf, naku..bf mo na ang maninindigan para sa'yo..dahil anu't anu man, ndi naman nanay nya ang makikisama sa'yo kaya wag xang magumarte ******..

and for ur first issue, actually feeling ko ganyan din ang mangyayare sakin at sa parents ko..pero i'm strivin' to make something for myself..para mawala man sila, ako pa din ang kikilalananing magulang ng mga anak ko.....

[chetts]

hi! good thing dito ako napunta. atleast, somehow may makakaintindi sa situation ko. though, i'm sure some of you will react negatively with my story. anyway, expected naman yun and sanay na ko. basta, i would say...minahal ako at mahal pa rin ako ng dad ng baby ko at magiging baby pa ulit! sana maging ok 'tong thread na to para sa mga single parents expecially sa single moms.

[leanelle]

i'm sorry...the message sent by chetts was suppose mine. new user kasi ako, naka-default pala pc ko sa pex ni chetts. anyways, the message is from me, not from chetts. i'm hope this time it will post right. i'm sorry again!

[leanelle]

pag weekends ba walang nagpo-post dito?

[pattybee]

Originally posted by CHIN66AY
im a single mom... my daughter is 5 yrs old. i had her when i was 19 kaya right now nahihirapan ako.

1st issue ko:
my parents are so supportive but its making me feel like im so useless. parang wala akong kahirap-hirap because they treat her like their own... hindi ko tuloy maramdaman ang responsibility ng isang mother.

2nd issue:
... this guy ive been going out with for 8 months now, his mom doesnt like me because may anak na raw ako.

bakit ganun... nababawasan ba ang pagkababae natin when we are single moms? may mga nakasabay ako nagbuntis, they got their child aborted and because walang nakakaalam what they did, they're being spared from this discrimination na "malandi kasi, imoral, etc" its like you're being judged palagi with your past!

oops sorry... ngayon ko lang kasi nakita ang thread na 'to and im so happy siguro meron sa inyong makakaintindi or will share my opinions and complaints?

Why don't you talk to your parents about this? Although I must say you're very fortunate to have such supportive parents. Yung iba kasi dyan, hindi man lang tinutulungan so you're in a much better position. Just explain to them that you want to be able to assume some motherly responsibilities as well. Assure them that you're capable and prove it!

With regard to your boyfriend's mother, napaka narrow-minded naman nya. Old school kasi eh so that's expected. Although it hurts to be judged that way, what should be more important is how your boyfriend feels about you and IF he thinks you're worth fighting for. Does he?

[mayeth]

i am not a single mom per se, but because my husband abandoned us, i became one. i have two kids and with prayers we are surviving. i know this tgread will help me a lot.

[derecho_65]

My mom's a single mother. She got pregnant with me while finishing her college degree, my father married her but it just didn't work out. Sometimes marriage is not a solution it only adds up to the problem. Fortunately my mom's family is very supportive of us, wihtout my aunt and my grandparents me and my sister would become street childrens or something like that. Unfortunately my mother wasn't emotionally prepared for the trials in life her parents and sister gave in to her every whim (bunso kasi & sakitin). There are times that she would blame me for ruining her life. that famous line na "kung d ako nabuntis sayo....." Lalo na kamukha ko daw tatay ko. She also has this inferiority complex of attending school activities because she's a single mom. (but maybe beacuse the school is run by nuns na conservative)

I just hope that the single moms out there would never do this to their child. NEVER! It's not the child's fault! A child should not be seen as a burden or curse.

It was my mother's doing that her life now is like that not mine.
Altough im growing up with a weak single mother, i learn from her mistakes and vow that if ever I become a single mother I would be anything but her.

[eulalie]

Please help,I'm pregnant and I don't know what's the best way to tell it to my parents...HELP>>>

[charlotte perez]

I was a single parent for 5 years. It was really difficult esp that time i was so young and studying. Although my parents were angry at me, they were the ones who helped me bear it all. Lalo pa eh iniwan kami ng father ng angel ko. But i didnt lose hope. My daughter gave me the strength and inspiration. May times din na I want to give up na but I continued to pray and trust Gods plan for us. I finally found someone who truly loves me and my daughter. Married for 3 years now and he also adopted my daughter.:)

[pattybee]

Originally posted by derecho_65
My mom's a single mother. She got pregnant with me while finishing her college degree, my father married her but it just didn't work out. Sometimes marriage is not a solution it only adds up to the problem. Fortunately my mom's family is very supportive of us, wihtout my aunt and my grandparents me and my sister would become street childrens or something like that. Unfortunately my mother wasn't emotionally prepared for the trials in life her parents and sister gave in to her every whim (bunso kasi & sakitin). There are times that she would blame me for ruining her life. that famous line na "kung d ako nabuntis sayo....." Lalo na kamukha ko daw tatay ko. She also has this inferiority complex of attending school activities because she's a single mom. (but maybe beacuse the school is run by nuns na conservative)

I just hope that the single moms out there would never do this to their child. NEVER! It's not the child's fault! A child should not be seen as a burden or curse.

It was my mother's doing that her life now is like that not mine.
Altough im growing up with a weak single mother, i learn from her mistakes and vow that if ever I become a single mother I would be anything but her.

Parenthood is not an easy task, especially when you're both father and mother to your child.

It's good that you're learning from your mom's mistakes. But never forget all the sacrifices she's made for you, too. Try to be supportive of her and understand her situation.

After all, you only have one mother, right? ;)

[pattybee]

Originally posted by charlotte perez
I was a single parent for 5 years. It was really difficult esp that time i was so young and studying. Although my parents were angry at me, they were the ones who helped me bear it all. Lalo pa eh iniwan kami ng father ng angel ko. But i didnt lose hope. My daughter gave me the strength and inspiration. May times din na I want to give up na but I continued to pray and trust Gods plan for us. I finally found someone who truly loves me and my daughter. Married for 3 years now and he also adopted my daughter.:)

Kudos to you! You're lucky you found someone who loves your daughter unconditionally. Good luck and God bless :)

[Backdoorm282004]

:) pwede po ba ako ** ... single father ako eh.. for single mom lang ba to?
kasi klangan ko din ang mga knowledge nyo eh...*** na kasi ang mama ng angel ko malapit na sya mag 2yrsold. almost 2 yrs na at hindi ko matandaan klan *** huling araw na nagpahinga ako.

hanggang *****, hindi ko parin alam paano mag Mommy-Mode sa anak ko.

dati, inaalagan sya ng mom ko pero *** mom ko my sakit kaya the nextthing i can do is to rent a yaya na kamaganak ko rin, part time lang ang pagkayaya... iniiwanan ko lang anak ko sa kanya everyday na my work ako. i manage a small IT-Business now, just got my promotion. I thnk my daughter is my inspiration.

I see the face of d most beautiful angel everytime i luk at her smiling face.

[pattybee]

Originally posted by Backdoorm282004
:) pwede po ba ako ** ... single father ako eh.. for single mom lang ba to?
kasi klangan ko din ang mga knowledge nyo eh...*** na kasi ang mama ng angel ko malapit na sya mag 2yrsold. almost 2 yrs na at hindi ko matandaan klan *** huling araw na nagpahinga ako.

hanggang *****, hindi ko parin alam paano mag Mommy-Mode sa anak ko.

dati, inaalagan sya ng mom ko pero *** mom ko my sakit kaya the nextthing i can do is to rent a yaya na kamaganak ko rin, part time lang ang pagkayaya... iniiwanan ko lang anak ko sa kanya everyday na my work ako. i manage a small IT-Business now, just got my promotion. I thnk my daughter is my inspiration.

I see the face of d most beautiful angel everytime i luk at her smiling face.

Congratulations for being a successful single dad! :) I don't think there's a problem with you being in this thread. After all, you have similar experiences.

I guess the reason you're having difficulty is because your child is a girl. And you probably feel scared that you might not be able to understand her needs the way a mother would. But don't worry, that's not a major problem if you ask me.

She's growing up with you as her only parent so I'm sure the two of you will have a very close relationship.

Good luck!

[loytecson]

Originally posted by JD_4_U
Im a proud single mum, i have a son 8 months today! My pride and Joy.

Got pregnant just weeks after i moved out of my parents, they were very disappointed, wanted me even to abort the helpless soul. But I said even if they never speak to me again i'll never ever can do what they're asking me. So I went my own way, boyfriend not here at that time, he's in the British army and was stationed in Oman. I felt that I was doing it alone but i fought my way, didnt really care what other people say.

Eventually they came to realise that they cant do anything to change my mind. The day after I left work for my maternity leave I gave birth to a little boy... and it happened that it was my mums 55th B-day, when my mum arrived I was already holding Will and I said "Happy Birthday Mum".

Now we're closer than ever. So thats a happy ever after story.

The Dad??? He's still around, were still together and planned to marry.

awww, this is soo touching. i almost cried... :)

[maxine de la pena]

When I got devirginized at 17, I never thought I'd get pregnant that fast. I have been a single mom for 7 years. My son is my pride and joy.

I had battled all the stigma society and even my family threw at me on the first years of being a single mom. Luckily, my son has become the apple of my mom's eyes and the favorite of most of my brothers and sisters.

The first years was the most difficult year of my life, I had to stop going to school, and when I was ready to go back, it was hard to leave my one year old son behind every week.

The father of my child, tried to come back, when my baby was 3, he made me feel that I was lucky he was willing to marry me and I saw him for what he really is, an irresponsible mama's boy. And people ay deem me stupid, I declined his offer. And with hurt pride he stopped his financial support.

And so I decided, it is enough that my son knows that he does have a living father. But, everytime, I see my son staring with envy at a father-and-son tandem playing or enjoying themselves, my heart just skips a beat.

And so I work harder at giving him everything, all the attention, love and support he needs.

Right now, he's in the Phil and Im here in the US, and it's so hard coping with long distance. But I just keep my heart steady with the knowledge that very soon he would come here to jooin me and finally I could say to his dad, that I never regreted turning down his offer of marriage. It is after all his loss and not mine.

[loytecson]

you go, girl! lots of luck to you maxine! :)

[maxine de la pena]

Thanks loy

With the rate Im going, I believe luck is indeed by my side.:) :)

[boardbuster]

Everybody comes into married life and relationships with their sets of emotional and psychological baggage. "Mama's boy"? How many mama's boy are there in the Philippines? Practically, all of the male Pinoy's are, one time or another! How about lasengero? basagulero? barkadistas? Lots of them got married and were able to raise a decent family. Only a selfish and jealous woman who would like to completely dominate a spouse would fail to have a relationship with a man who also has relationship with friends and families.

When there is a child involved, that's when both sides have to set aside their own hurt pride, vindictiveness and other prejudices. Both sides must work for the good of the child and both must work hard to attain it.

Nobody wins when a child lost the chance to have a ather or a mother.

When an action is taken to show off to others what they can do and without consideration of what the child may be missing, then it is just plain selfishness. Not being able to forgive means one will be carrying the hurt for a long time. And vengeance is not that sweet when there is an innocent one that could suffer. No one will get out of such situation a better person, nor a happier one.

People should not wait till they are at their deathbed to make things right.

[maxine de la pena]

I know what you mean boardbuster. However, wouldn't it be unfair for all of us, if we stayed together just because of the child. I believe, one's reason should always be love. And I'd rather spare my kid the agony of seeing both his parents suffer spite for each other.

As for forgiveness, I have given that out already, but sometimes even all the kings horses and all the kings men cant put something together again, even a wound that has healed leave scars in it's wake.

[dizzydean]

hi to all people here... i have a dilemma & was hoping if anyone of you can gve me some of your advce..you see i'm a guy and i'm infatuated with a single mom younger than me...guys you can check out my thread and post here...


http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=4865419#post4865419


thanks!

[pinay24]

Single Mommies check nyo to:

http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=173280&perpage=40&pagenumber=2

[girlintown]

hi...can i call myself a single mom my husband is filling an annulment...can someone help me or give some backgrounds on how this thing is processed...he is the one filing coz' he wants to be a bachelor again..ang galing noh...thanks in advance...i'm just curious about this matter...

[aina_crazy_girl]

Originally posted by girlintown
hi...can i call myself a single mom my husband is filling an annulment...can someone help me or give some backgrounds on how this thing is processed...he is the one filing coz' he wants to be a bachelor again..ang galing noh...thanks in advance...i'm just curious about this matter...

aw, that sucks.

i'm really sorry to hear that. is that his only reason? i hope he's not cheating on you or anything

[girlintown]

Originally posted by aina_crazy_girl
aw, that sucks.

i'm really sorry to hear that. is that his only reason? i hope he's not cheating on you or anything

the truth is he admit to me na may other woman sya sa japan kung saan sya nagwowork right now ang the japanese girl wants him to marry her....naawa lang ako sa mga anak namin dahil ayoko sana silang matulad sa akin na hindi ko man lang nakita ang biologiacl father ko...ang dami kong di maiintindihan...nung nasa japan pa sya may kutob na ako na may babae sya pero sino bang lalaki ang umaamin agad...until umuwi sya last May 2004 he told me na about money matters na magastos daw ako at stubborn...pero all of my friends tell me na scape goat nya lang un para di sya ang lumabas na may kasalanan...umalis na rin sya ulit pabalik ng japan with only telling me na he will give financial support...pera lang ba ang kailangan ng mga bata di ba kailangan din nila ang presence ng magulang at quality time...
last father day we tried calling him para batiin ng mga baby ko kaso di ko alam kung bakit ayaw nyang sagutin ang cell nya...
bilin kasi ng mga inlaws ko na wag daw putulin ang connection ng mga apo nila sa ama...kaso nasaktan lang kami ng mga bata...miss na mga baby ko ang daddy nila kahit once a year lang nila makita ito...

last 4 years ago single mom na din ako my my 6 year old daughter kala ko nung dumating sya sa buhay sya na ang sagot sa pangarap naming buo at masayang pamilya...until nangyari ito i've got 2 kids with this guy...fior the 2nd time single mom na naman ako...

as of now i'm trying to get relly very busy sa pag-aalaga sa mga anak ko at pagtratrabaho...ayoko ko kasing magkaroon pagkakataon ng maisip ko ang problema ko...ias na lang ang sinsandalan ko ngayon si LORD sya na lang itinuturo kong daddy sa mga baby at least SYA di nya kami iiwan kahit kailan..

senti ko noh...ganito pala ang feeling kahit paano narelieve ako...dito ko na ito pinost at least dito di siguro mababsa ng husband ko ang hinaing ko...pexer din kasi sya....some of you knows him lalo na yung nakasam namin nung Dec 2000 xmas party...

sayang nga naging busy ako nung last quarter of the last year kasi may nabsa akong mga post nya re-gf nya...sana nun pa lang nalamn ko na hinde ako nagmukhang *****...

[aina_crazy_girl]

Originally posted by girlintown
the truth is he admit to me na may other woman sya sa japan kung saan sya nagwowork right now ang the japanese girl wants him to marry her....naawa lang ako sa mga anak namin dahil ayoko sana silang matulad sa akin na hindi ko man lang nakita ang biologiacl father ko...ang dami kong di maiintindihan...nung nasa japan pa sya may kutob na ako na may babae sya pero sino bang lalaki ang umaamin agad...until umuwi sya last May 2004 he told me na about money matters na magastos daw ako at stubborn...pero all of my friends tell me na scape goat nya lang un para di sya ang lumabas na may kasalanan...umalis na rin sya ulit pabalik ng japan with only telling me na he will give financial support...pera lang ba ang kailangan ng mga bata di ba kailangan din nila ang presence ng magulang at quality time...
last father day we tried calling him para batiin ng mga baby ko kaso di ko alam kung bakit ayaw nyang sagutin ang cell nya...
bilin kasi ng mga inlaws ko na wag daw putulin ang connection ng mga apo nila sa ama...kaso nasaktan lang kami ng mga bata...miss na mga baby ko ang daddy nila kahit once a year lang nila makita ito...

last 4 years ago single mom na din ako my my 6 year old daughter kala ko nung dumating sya sa buhay sya na ang sagot sa pangarap naming buo at masayang pamilya...until nangyari ito i've got 2 kids with this guy...fior the 2nd time single mom na naman ako...

as of now i'm trying to get relly very busy sa pag-aalaga sa mga anak ko at pagtratrabaho...ayoko ko kasing magkaroon pagkakataon ng maisip ko ang problema ko...ias na lang ang sinsandalan ko ngayon si LORD sya na lang itinuturo kong daddy sa mga baby at least SYA di nya kami iiwan kahit kailan..

senti ko noh...ganito pala ang feeling kahit paano narelieve ako...dito ko na ito pinost at least dito di siguro mababsa ng husband ko ang hinaing ko...pexer din kasi sya....some of you knows him lalo na yung nakasam namin nung Dec 2000 xmas party...

sayang nga naging busy ako nung last quarter of the last year kasi may nabsa akong mga post nya re-gf nya...sana nun pa lang nalamn ko na hinde ako nagmukhang *****...

hrabe naman yan.

sis, pm mo cel number mo.

i'd like to be your friend =)

[Backdoorm282004]

^Girl N Town, Kaya mo yan. lakas loob lang yan.

[Backdoorm282004]

Patty bee,

salamat... afraid lang ako kasi baka maging tomboy tong anak ko.

[msfoxy]

Hi, im a single mom. I got pregnant at 12 years of age and had my daughter when I was thirteen. I had just entered my first year of highschool when I found out that I was pregnant. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through because I knew I wasn’t ready to have a child. I was going to get an abortion, but when the father of my unborn child (my boyfriend at the time) promised to stay with me and help raise our child, I decided to proceed with the pregnancy. He had just finished highschool and was in university and had a job. My parents were very upset when they found out that I was pregnant. Im an only child and the thought of me putting my life on hold to have a baby was just devastating for them. It was hard being pregnant and at the same time, going to school. It was emotionally and physically stressful for my part because I was still young and still didn’t know a lot of things. Highschool for most teens is the stage where you experience what being an adolescent is all about and the fun that comes along with it. I missed out on a lot of that because I had a different life than the rest. I was preparing to be a mother while most of the girls I knew where just getting their first kiss or boyfriend. They were so innocent. My parents eventually supported me throughout my pregnancy because there was nothing else they could do. I was their only pride and joy and did not want me to end up in the gutter. When I had my daughter at 13, I moved in with my boyfriend because he wanted us to be a family. He was working and going to school at the same time, while I too was going to school. My parents helped out a lot with taking care of our baby. It brought my family closer together but it also brought a lot of problems. I lived with my boyfriend for quite awhile until things started to change. He became really stressful with his schedule and the notion of being a father at the same time. He got aggressive and violent and started spending most of his time with his friends. I knew that it just wouldn’t work out for us. At 16, I decided to live on my own with my daughter. I was scared mostly for the life my daughter would have not being with her father, but I had to take responsibility because I brought her into this world and is now my job to give her a good life, even if it means doing it on my own. I started working and going to school at the same time. My parents were very supportive of my decisions and helped out a lot. My daughter is now 5 years old. The father is in and out of our lives. He is ‘reportedly’ busy with his life and has little time to visit or at least call her. Let alone, provide child support, but I don’t even care about the financial support anymore because I have learned to provide for my daughter on my own. Last year, I met a wonderful man who was more than willing to be a part of me and my daughter’s lives. He accepted me as I was and loved my daughter very much. I got pregnant with him and when he found out, he was overjoyed. He wanted to get married right away and live together, but I wasn’t ready for that and he just couldn’t wait. He saw it as an opportunity to start his idea of a family life, and at the same time, i was in my last year of highschool (very stressful) and getting into a marriage was just too much for me to handle. A few weeks before my delivery, he and I broke up and I was yet again left alone to face another difficult challenge. I gave birth to a baby son in february. A few weeks after I gave birth, the father wanted to become a part of our lives again, but soon after he changed his mind again. He said that he didn’t expect to have a lot on his shoulders and was not ready to be a father just yet. How irresponsible and selfish of him! He stopped calling or visiting us. He has basically cut any relationships he could have with our son or my daughter (whom he has treated like his own). Anyway, I have no problems with any financial support from him because honestly for the past 5 years, I’ve been able to provide everything for my daughter, I don’t want his money. I just wish that both the father of my children would wake up and start realizing that they have responsibilities that they need to face up. I just want them to have a relationship with my children so that they grow up knowing both their parents, not just one of them. I love my babies so much I would do anything for them. They are my reason for living and trying my best to be a good mother. I have just finished highschool this year and am ready to take on any challenges for my kids. I’ve been through so much the last 5 years and have been the most difficult. Don’t get me wrong, it has also been a blessing to be a mother and experience the love and joy of having children. If it wasn’t for my parents love and support, I’d be alone and helpless with my children. It’s not easy at all being a single mom especially at a young age, but that’s life. No one said it would be easy. So I might as well accept the challenges that come my way and deal with it. im 19 and live on my own with my 5 yr old daughter and 5 month old son. IT’S VERY HARD. if I had the chance to go back and change things around, I would so do it. but I can’t, I have to move on. Im thankful that my parents have been there for me all these years and have managed to cope with the problems I gave them. Now, I just have to keep on living and stay strong because I know that there will be more challenges that’s yet to come my way.

[foxxxxy]

msfoxy,

that's very, very brave of you. Don't lose hope. I wish you luck! :)

[pattybee]

Originally posted by dizzydean
hi to all people here... i have a dilemma & was hoping if anyone of you can gve me some of your advce..you see i'm a guy and i'm infatuated with a single mom younger than me...guys you can check out my thread and post here...


http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=4865419#post4865419


thanks!

I did see your thread and read all the posts. Didn't want to jump in because there were some nasty remarks about single moms in there. Baka mapa-away lang ako :D

Anyway, I'll be the first to tell you that having a relationship with a single mom won't be easy. You have to prepare yourself for a lot of things.

FOLLOW YOUR HEART. If you truly like this girl, then go for it. Get to know her and her child. Try spending more time with them and see if you can adapt to their lifestyle. This is the best way to find out if you really want to be part of the equation.

EMBRACE EVERYTHING ABOUT HER. And that includes her past. Don't dwell on it and the mistakes she's made. Be happy that she was able to pick herself up and make sure you're there to support her in her bid to re-construct her life.

LOVE HER, LOVE HER CHILD. It's a package deal. You can't have one without the other. And don't ever, ever make the stupid mistake of asking her to choose between you and her own flesh and blood. You'll just get hurt and fall flat on your face with embarassment! You should be happy that she loves her child so much that she'll give anything up for him/her. IF the two of you end up together, wouldn't you want her to be that kind of mother to your future kids?

And lastly, the key here is ACCEPTANCE. 100%, no conditions. There's a lot to be said about single moms like me. But the people who are so quick to judge don't even know half the story because they either haven't been in that situation yet or they're MEN! :D

Good luck. If it's meant to be, I'm sure it will work out for the best. :)

[udayjane]

im looking for a single mom with daughters.. preferably a short woman, and intelligent and agnostic :)

[Onomatopoet]

how about single dads? is that rare in the pinas?

[yvetsky]

hi am a single mom to be...am on my fourth month. yung Bf ko ay biglang nalito nung nalaman nya na buntis ako, and he finally decide na iwan nalang kami. wala na kaming communication ngayon....mahirap at masakit lalo na pinagkatiwaalaan ko sya ng 4 na taon. Pero sabi nga nila, hindi ako ang nawalan. lahat ng blessing nsa akin ngayon, yung family ko accepted na yung situation ko, they support me, my mom is really excited to buy me maternity clothes kahit ang liit pa ng tiyan ko.
am not hoping na bumalik pa yung dad ng baby ko, kaya lang yung sakit na binigay nya ***** andito na sa akin yun forever.

[akane_xylene]

Hi, im a single mom. I got pregnant at 12 years of age and had my daughter when I was thirteen. I had just entered my first year of highschool when I found out that I was pregnant. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through because I knew I wasn’t ready to have a child. I was going to get an abortion, but when the father of my unborn child (my boyfriend at the time) promised to stay with me and help raise our child, I decided to proceed with the pregnancy. He had just finished highschool and was in university and had a job. My parents were very upset when they found out that I was pregnant. Im an only child and the thought of me putting my life on hold to have a baby was just devastating for them. It was hard being pregnant and at the same time, going to school. It was emotionally and physically stressful for my part because I was still young and still didn’t know a lot of things. Highschool for most teens is the stage where you experience what being an adolescent is all about and the fun that comes along with it. I missed out on a lot of that because I had a different life than the rest. I was preparing to be a mother while most of the girls I knew where just getting their first kiss or boyfriend. They were so innocent. My parents eventually supported me throughout my pregnancy because there was nothing else they could do. I was their only pride and joy and did not want me to end up in the gutter. When I had my daughter at 13, I moved in with my boyfriend because he wanted us to be a family. He was working and going to school at the same time, while I too was going to school. My parents helped out a lot with taking care of our baby. It brought my family closer together but it also brought a lot of problems. I lived with my boyfriend for quite awhile until things started to change. He became really stressful with his schedule and the notion of being a father at the same time. He got aggressive and violent and started spending most of his time with his friends. I knew that it just wouldn’t work out for us. At 16, I decided to live on my own with my daughter. I was scared mostly for the life my daughter would have not being with her father, but I had to take responsibility because I brought her into this world and is now my job to give her a good life, even if it means doing it on my own. I started working and going to school at the same time. My parents were very supportive of my decisions and helped out a lot. My daughter is now 5 years old. The father is in and out of our lives. He is ‘reportedly’ busy with his life and has little time to visit or at least call her. Let alone, provide child support, but I don’t even care about the financial support anymore because I have learned to provide for my daughter on my own. Last year, I met a wonderful man who was more than willing to be a part of me and my daughter’s lives. He accepted me as I was and loved my daughter very much. I got pregnant with him and when he found out, he was overjoyed. He wanted to get married right away and live together, but I wasn’t ready for that and he just couldn’t wait. He saw it as an opportunity to start his idea of a family life, and at the same time, i was in my last year of highschool (very stressful) and getting into a marriage was just too much for me to handle. A few weeks before my delivery, he and I broke up and I was yet again left alone to face another difficult challenge. I gave birth to a baby son in february. A few weeks after I gave birth, the father wanted to become a part of our lives again, but soon after he changed his mind again. He said that he didn’t expect to have a lot on his shoulders and was not ready to be a father just yet. How irresponsible and selfish of him! He stopped calling or visiting us. He has basically cut any relationships he could have with our son or my daughter (whom he has treated like his own). Anyway, I have no problems with any financial support from him because honestly for the past 5 years, I’ve been able to provide everything for my daughter, I don’t want his money. I just wish that both the father of my children would wake up and start realizing that they have responsibilities that they need to face up. I just want them to have a relationship with my children so that they grow up knowing both their parents, not just one of them. I love my babies so much I would do anything for them. They are my reason for living and trying my best to be a good mother. I have just finished highschool this year and am ready to take on any challenges for my kids. I’ve been through so much the last 5 years and have been the most difficult. Don’t get me wrong, it has also been a blessing to be a mother and experience the love and joy of having children. If it wasn’t for my parents love and support, I’d be alone and helpless with my children. It’s not easy at all being a single mom especially at a young age, but that’s life. No one said it would be easy. So I might as well accept the challenges that come my way and deal with it. im 19 and live on my own with my 5 yr old daughter and 5 month old son. IT’S VERY HARD. if I had the chance to go back and change things around, I would so do it. but I can’t, I have to move on. Im thankful that my parents have been there for me all these years and have managed to cope with the problems I gave them. Now, I just have to keep on living and stay strong because I know that there will be more challenges that’s yet to come my way.

wow! lived alone at 16! congrats sis! ur so brave!!!

haay! wish ko lang magawa ko yan. sana kaya ko emotionally ang financially... im done with my studies but i dont have a job ye. im here in the province with my parents. why emotionally? kasi ang gugustuhin ko ata eh ang makipag-live-in sa dad ng baby ko. were in good terms actually kaso my parents aren't open to that! :splat:

bad trip!

[akane_xylene]

im kinda a single mother. hopefully not forever. my BF is supporting my son's expenses kahit na he's studying pa. he gets it from his baon. but he lives in manila, Me and my baby here in the province 4 hours away from manila by land. he's here almost every weekend.

he just asked me to get married na. well, AYOKO PA! why?
1. i think he did that because tinatamad sya pumunta dito every week kasi ang dami nyang hindi nagagawa by doing so. like what? computer games, surf the internet and sleep a LOT. tingin ko lang un ha. knowing him...
2. tsaka he's not yet done with his studies... MAYBE kapag done na sya.
3. he always shout at me. unintentionally. kasi ganon talaga sila sa family nila. but it does really make me mad. sobra!
4. we have issues. he fcuk his fcuk buddy last 2003. *** FB nya eh ka-FB nya before we became lovers. i forgave him but not forget. im very scared he might do it again. because the possibility is HIGH.
5. i don't think he really loves me. seriously. do i love him? im not sure.

haay. what can i do? i grew up not having my dad beside me and i dont want that to happen to my son. but i dont think i should marry him.

[pattybee]

[QUOTE=akane_xylene]he just asked me to get married na. well, AYOKO PA! why?
1. i think he did that because tinatamad sya pumunta dito every week kasi ang dami nyang hindi nagagawa by doing so. like what? computer games, surf the internet and sleep a LOT. tingin ko lang un ha. knowing him...

WELL, MY DEAR, YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN WE DO. IF YOU THINK THESE ARE HIS REASONS FOR ASKING YOU TO MARRY HIM, THEN YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION NOT TO.

2. tsaka he's not yet done with his studies... MAYBE kapag done na sya.

YOU HAVE A POINT HERE

5. i don't think he really loves me. seriously. do i love him? im not sure.

AND THIS IS THE BIGGEST REASON WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY HIM

[bratz]

after reading this,u guys became my inspiration to become more responsible in every decision i make. =) i salute to all single moms =)

ill include u guys in my prayers for more strength and happiness

[akane_xylene]

[QUOTE=akane_xylene]he just asked me to get married na. well, AYOKO PA! why?
1. i think he did that because tinatamad sya pumunta dito every week kasi ang dami nyang hindi nagagawa by doing so. like what? computer games, surf the internet and sleep a LOT. tingin ko lang un ha. knowing him...

WELL, MY DEAR, YOU KNOW HIM BETTER THAN WE DO. IF YOU THINK THESE ARE HIS REASONS FOR ASKING YOU TO MARRY HIM, THEN YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION NOT TO.

2. tsaka he's not yet done with his studies... MAYBE kapag done na sya.

YOU HAVE A POINT HERE

5. i don't think he really loves me. seriously. do i love him? im not sure.

AND THIS IS THE BIGGEST REASON WHY YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY HIM

un na nga sis. i think i really shouldn't marry him but im so torn apart. what shall i do:

1. marry the father of my son which i think i shouldn't marry
or
2. let my son grow up without his father beside him just like me (which really sucks!)

ayoko sya matulad sa akin. i feel so empty. ayoko din naman matulad sa mom ko. she's with someone she shouldn't have marry. (its a long story) kung hindi nag-abroad ang dad ko matagal na silang hiwalay.

haaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!! maloloka na ako!

[eroa]

Im a single father raising a 7 year old boy. My wife, D, passed away last year from a lingering illness. I think my son and I are lucky because of the emotional support we receive from my family and from my wife's family; I guess this is one thing positive about being Pinoy.

I have realized the importance and the bond a son, or daughter, has with a mother. D and my son were very close. I used to wonder why she would "play dead" with my son during their cuddle moments. My son would cry when she did it. I then noticed that the sobs would lessen everytime she did it. It eventually became a game between the two of them with my son coming to the rescue of his "dying" mom. I remember the D's last day, I spoke to my son about what was going to happen to his mom so that he'd know what was going on and why Mommy hasn't woken up. We cried in each other's arms and I felt that it was he who was comforting me. When she crossed over that evening, I informed my son that mom was gone. His reply was: "Now na?" then he went into our room and kissed her goodbye. That's when I realized how relevant those games were and how D prepared him.

Now, I'm trying to be as emotionally supportive to my son as D was. He has no one else but me. I'm always there for him. I try to be home early everyday for him. I didn't hire a tutor for him but took the responsibility myself. We have learned to pray every night. I see to it that he's ready for school every morning. I plan his meals. When he wants to go to the mall or watch a movie, I make the time. We are each other's best friend. Please don't get the idea that I spoil him. I am strict with him when it comes to studying. I always remind him to keep his stuff in order. I also encourage him to do things and think for himself but with my guidance. I tell him basic life stuff.

I'm rambling now. I'm happy that there's a thread like this. Thanks for your time.

[cmars2]

Im a single parent too. My son is turned 6 months old yesterday and I'm happy because lumalaki syang cheerful, charming, ang malambing.:) The mother of his biological father didn't want us to marry and ayaw naman naming ipagpilitan ang sarili ko sa kanya.:p
Anyhoo, nawalan na ako ng gana sa biological father because wala akong nakikitang improvement sa kanya until now. The relationship "kuno" is not growing.:shrug:

[soontobemom]

Hi all, it's nice to know there's a thread for single parents here. I'm going to be a single parent soon because as soon as he found out, the father of my baby told me he doesn't want to have anything to do with it. I'm getting a lot of support from my family and friends though, so I know I'll be okay. And I know we'll all be better off like this than end up a broken family anyway. Right now, all I'm worried about is how to be a good mom...

[yvetsky]

hello am going to be a single mom also in 4 months, like the previous post the dad decided to leave me when i was asking about his plan for me and the baby. we had been together for 4 years, so all of my friends and my family was very shocked and angry with his decision. but with all the care and support i felt that my baby and i doesnt need a loser like him. i know soon we will be very happy :D

[felicity18]

hay... ang masasabi ko lang.. hindi tau ang nawalan... kundi *** mga lalaking nangiwan satin!

[pebblesandrocks]

To digress on a topic, am posting something that I received in my mail. Might be of interest to everyone as these are free cooking classes at Nestle.

***************************

Dear Valued Nestle Consumer,

You may have heard by now that we at Nestle have launched our “Let’s Talk Wellness” campaign for 2005. The “Let’s Talk Wellness” Campaign is a concerted effort to create awareness among Filipinos on the importance of wellness through proper diet, physical activity, and habits. This is a very exciting time for us and we would like to share this excitement with you by inviting you to join the Julius Maggi Kitchen activities in the succeeding months as we talk about Total Wellness.

This May, the JMK will be celebrating Mothers’ month and we have prepared a variety of activities for our valued homemakers:

Regular Cooking Demos:
ä Cook with our chef of the month as he whips up delectable recipes using fruits in season! Learn new dishes to add to your kitchen repertoire in COOKING with FRUITS.
ä PARTY FAVORS for SALE educates and inspires you with fresh and innovative ideas for starting a business through a lecture and demo on making handmade souvenirs for weddings, birthdays, christenings, and other occasions.

Join our raffle promos by doing the following:
1. Invite friends who are not yet members of the Nestlé Club and get a chance to win prizes in the “Bring a Friend Raffle.”
1. Bring labels of any of the listed products and join the “Lucky Labels” promo:

· BEAR BRAND Sterilized
· CHUCKIE
· MAGGI Magic Sarap
· NESTEA
· NESTLÉ All Purpose Cream
· NESTLÉ Cream
· NESTLÉ Party Cake
· NESTLÉ Karambola
· NESTLÉ Premium Pasteurized Milk


2. Purchase assorted Nestlé products from our special selling booth for a chance to win special prizes in the “Buy and Win” raffle. Ask for details when you make your reservations.

Special Sessions for Moms
On May 10, 12, and 14 from 2:00 to 5:00PM, JMK would be hosting a session on Total Wellness! Learn about Visual Poise, Social Graces, Make-up Application, and Wardrobe through a lecture by our partners in Avon and know how to Feel Good About Yourself through our NESTLÉ Nutrition Champion. Feel Good recipes will also be demonstrated! Please call numbers below for reservations.

Don’t miss these FREE, very timely, useful and fun activities on May 21, 24, 26, 28, and 31 from 2:00-5:00 PM for the regular demos and May 10, 12, and 14 for the special sessions at the Julius Maggi Kitchen, Ground Floor, Nestlé Center, 31 Plaza Drive Rockwell Center, Makati City. Reservations start on May 4. Call tel. nos. 723-7679 or 726-1016. However, due to the limited seating capacity, we request that you still COME ON TIME. To make the sessions conducive to learning for all concerned, please REFRAIN FROM BRINGING YOUNG CHILDREN.

We look forward to seeing you at the Julius Maggi Kitchen this May!

[lauren44]

after a year of struggling to save our marriage, we both realized that it is beyond repair and it is best for us to separate.

what's surprising is that i feel relieved, relaxed, and somewhat happy. hindi ko nararamdaman yung malungkot, umiyak, habulin yung asawa ko at pigilan syang umalis. hindi ako nagkaroon ng urge to text or call him after he left.

i do feel sad because of the fact that my marriage failed. but i look forward to what i can do now that i am alone. i will soar and fly high. my kids are also happy - not that they wanted my husband to leave. but because they are no longer walking on egg shells.

sabi ng sister ko, girl power!

[Simply_Sexy]

I was also raised by a single parent- my mom (my parents separated when i was 4 yrs old but my dad died when i was 11 yrs old). i also became very independent & strong willed. Even if i was raised all by my mom, i never felt that i was lacking something. she made me feel complete.

[MnEsArEtE]

WOW its nice to know that theres a lot of women who are in the same situation as i am.... not exactly the same but almost....
haaaay....life....
my hubby wants to take full responsibility but i decided to say no for so many reasons...
1 back then his mom has cancer and i was pregnant at the same time
2 my parents hate him
3 i think were better off with my family coz theyll be able to give everything my daughter needs not that my hubbie cant provide all of these but my parents can offer more
4 he doesnt have job
a lot of people are saying im wrong but i dunno whats right anymore....
hay naku....
we still see each other and even though were married we cant live together so basically para kaming magsyotang iligal!!! coz once my mom finds out... goodbye dear world!!!

[soontobemom]

I have a question for those who have experience na as single parent, nahirapan ba kayo magpalaki ng anak nyo ng mag-isa? I don't mean in terms of needing financial support but more of needing someone who'll help you guide your child. I'm just worried na malaki yung magiging impact sa bata kung lumaki syang walang tatay... Any thoughts?

[Screwtape]

I was raised by my mom and everything came out fine with me...Just the regular OC traits that most people have.

I think most single parents tend to shower the children with more attention than regular parents (might be a guilt thing)...So it usually goes well for the kid.

The thing you have to look out for is the balance that both the father-figure and mother-figure gives. I suggest having a number of really good male or female friends (as the case may be) who can provide that figure/model. Of course, if your kid will have great aunts and uncles, things should be fine...

[HAVENLESTAT]

as for me it wasnt a problem at all in fact i chose to be with my parents coz i know theyd be able to give my daughter everything she needs not financially but the care the love and its nice to grow up surrounded by people who loves you dearly

[seongavin]

hmm... im abt to be a mom, bt im thinking twice abt it. ewan ko ba, i should consider myself lucky pa nga coz the guy is more than willing to marry me (he'd be honored daw to spend the rest of his life daw with me) and he's financially stable already and i believe that he loves me--in short, nagpo-propose na si kumag, nde ko lang alam kung ano isasagot ko.

ideally, i should say yes dba? of course it'll come as a shock and disappointment to everybody (afterall halos 2 months pa lang kme), bt that would be the least of my concerns...

iniisip ko lang, im not so sure if i love him "enough" to marry him. mahal sa mahal, pero nde ko sigurado kung ganun ko na kamahal. labo ano?

and am i ready to take the responsibility of having a baby?
selfish na kung selfish pero feeling ko, i would have to give up a great deal of myself (lifestyle,opportunities etc) kung magkaka-baby ako or kung mag-aasawa na ko. nanghihinayang lang ako...feeling ko dami pa pwede mangyari sa buhay ko kung nde ko itutuloy. i know myself too well...if i choose to have this baby, i'll end up taking full responsibility of the kid (literally), that id be more than willing to lose myself and pass those opportunities for his/her sake.

am i making sense here? haaay, ewan ko ba. i need some good advice...

it's never an option anymore once you're pregnant. Do you actually know what you're talking about??? I'm a single mom. I was only 19 when I had my kid but when I found out I was pregnant, even if I had so many dreams that I've been fulfilling that time, I never thought of any other option but to continue having my baby. I gave it all up, my pursuing my architectural degree and all the inheritance, but I never regret anything that I gave up. I'm very much happy with my baby now. I got myself into a situation that was firstly wrong, I paid up for all the consequences for what I did. Even despite his dad leaving me when I was pregnant, I don't care! All I ever thought of from the beginning is that, he's a gift from GOD and everything happens for a reason. Yes, you have a point, there's so many things that you really have to sacrifice and "could have's" but have you ever thought how long"those things" would last??? You would go on with your life but when you die, you go straight to HELL. Not continuing it means killing your own child? How brutal is that? It wasn't an option for me, ever. The only thing I thought of was that I am going to make it work. God has His reason why He gave me my baby.

[Onomatopoet]

It looks like most of the single parents here are women. Are there any single dads out there?

It is unfortunate that things didn't work in your relationships but I think it is a blessing in disguise to the moms for children are a heritage from the Lord.


i've been a single dad for almost 5 years now. both my sons live with me full time. it's not quite like a sitcom like on tv but we try our best to have a few laughs now and then.

[_haianna_]

hi guys! i had fun reading all ur posts..it made me feel secure, im on my 7th month now and giving birth on October...I broke up with my x fiancee 2 weeks bago ko nalaman that I was pregnant with him, he knows that Im pregnant and I guess he's excited cause we've been wanting to have this baby since last year..he'd help me financially but we dont have plans of getting back to each other but sometimes I feel na its really hard for the baby to live without a father ...is it hard to be a single parent?

[jpljon]

i am a single parent. my wife left me four months ago and left to my custody our three children. she said that the house was not ours (it is my brothers) she was the one leaving the house. after four months she came back to tell me that she has a bf. she had a one-night stand then got pregnant and eventually miscarried. she tells me she just want to go back to the kids but not to reconcile with me. currently i am the sole breadwinner of the family and i am taking care of the children (14,11,8). m coping up somehow with prayers and help from my family. the kids wants their mother to return provided that she reconciles with me. my eldest hates her mother. while the two youngest are hoping that the family will be one again some day.

[bUrNiNgLuV]

single parent here so count me in....my baby boy turned 1 yr old last june 3,at pinakamasakit i was not there to celebrate the first b-day ng baby ko kasi nasa labas ako ng country to support him....its really really hurt,pero ok lang kasi sa pictures mukhang enjoy na enjoy ang baby ko....he did a lot of funny face expressions sa pics....

[bUrNiNgLuV]

single mother here...so count me in...my baby boy celebrated his 1 yr last june 3 and pinakamasakit wala ako sa tabi nya to celebrate his 1st b-day,nandito sa abroad to support him and for his future too...
father nya???....i dont have any idea if san na sya

[bUrNiNgLuV]

sori akala ko di ko na send nag retype ako uli hayyy...lyf

[yvetsky]

am a single mom for 23 days now......yung BF ko deadma pa rin sa baby namin. I don't want to expect anything na lang from him, masakit pa rin pag-naalala ko....lalo na i always wanted a complete family.

[cmars2]

my son is turning one y.o. next month and his sperm donor (alright... father na nga) never gave support. im waiting but not expecting.

[sweetwahm]

Hello everyone,

My sister is a single mom. Just a semester shy of graduating at 20 years old, she got pregnant. We found out she was pregnant when she never came home one day. She ran off with her boyfriend and she was around 6-7 months pregnant then. Looking back then, it was rather embarrassing having to answer questions from my cousins and other relatives on how come we never knew she was pregnant all along. Well, we couldn’t know… because of different schedules with work, school, and all, we didn’t sit down for breakfast together…. and dinner too for that matter. And all of us siblings (me, my sis, and my brother) had separate rooms.

Finding out about it was one of the darkest days I can remember. I’m older than her and I remember crying because I was scared she might not be able to handle it… she was just a ‘baby’ herself. Her boyfriend wasn’t acceptable to our family: he had a history of drug abuse and I suppose violence too. We never really knew much about him… I guess we never got around to trying to get to know him either…. he had long before been warned to stay away. Or so we thought. All the while, they had been keeping their relationship a secret.

Finding her was hard… we never knew where the BF lived. Mama managed to locate her… what she saw broke her heart even more. BF lived in a dump. Bamboo shack, mosquito-breeding ponds and whatever else. We are not matapobre, neither are we rich. But we all grew up carefree and comfortable, my parents have strived to give the best. Right then, Mama knew my sis would be giving birth in our city’s provincial hospital where, because of the hundreds of babies delivered there everyday, she would possibly be sharing a bed with some other mother too. I don’t know how my mother made it through that day.

And when I came to see her…. she had just come home carrying 6 liter water containers (you know, Absolute/ Wilkins) in both hands. She said she had to buy because there was no potable water around. My sister, señorita, jugging along 6liter containers. I could see she wanted to come home, she was just too proud to say so. My tears couldn’t stop falling.

Conservative Papa couldn’t accept it… and shun away any support for my sister. After some time he yielded, and said she could come home if she wanted to but made it clear that all he would provide was food on her plate and a roof over her head. I guess he knew that no matter how angry he was, he also worried about her condition. The only ultimatum he gave was that she permanently cut off any ties she had with BF.

In fairness to BF, he fought for her… stood his ground. He said he would marry her and in time, he would find a job. And one day he would make it and prove us wrong.

In the end, my sis chose to come home to the comfort she had known all her life. Even then, it proved to be a trying time. True to his word, Papa never offered support for the upcoming birth. Nothing emotionally, financially, physically. In fact, her presence disturbed him a lot, she was such a painful reminder of failure. To my mother and I, there was nothing to be done but accept the facts. I was already working then and my boyfriend and I were planning to marry. We had been steady for 4 years already and had long ago made plans to save up. With this new trial, our plans had to be put on hold. There was no one else who could support my sis financially. A big chunk of my salary was allotted to everything for the baby and her hospitalization needs. It gave me the chills most nights thinking of what if she gave birth via caesarean. Brrr, talk about emptying pockets!

Through all this ordeal, Papa changed. Almost everyday in the last trimester of my sister’s pregnancy, he would remind us of the “kind” of people we were/ we became. He was so embarrassed, my sister couldn’t get out of the house except for check-up with the doctor. He looked at all of us as scum. To his mind, my mom and his kids were all one unit because we showed support for my pregnant sis. We had grown up with care and love… now I’m not so sure he really loved us at all. He started drinking and smoking, vices he gave up over 15 years ago. And when he was really drunk, he came up with the foulest words. I’m no saint and I can certainly swear, but I have never experienced being called everything else.

I supported Sister and her Baby Girl. Almost everything. Mama was able to chip in a bit, too, which was doubly harder on her. Mama doesn’t work and Papa stopped letting her handle the household finances so it was hard for her to come by with cash. Financially, it was a drain. Since I had just started working then, my salary wasn’t all that. I had to put my MBA studies on hold. Saving for my own wedding was out of the question. It was a blessing my BF was so understanding… although sometimes it tested his patience. There were times when he felt our relationship was going nowhere and he had long ago been ready to start a family… something he couldn’t see daw from me.

Sister eventually went back to school and graduated. She had trouble finding work, but did manage to land a job. I still helped with her finances since her sweldo was so small. Guys started noticing her, making ligaw. She is undeniably the pretty one in the family, and she got her old slim-mish figure back after the birth. When her daughter turned 3, a nice guy came into their lives. He came from a good moneyed family, whose parents and siblings were accepting of her situation. Little Niece gets along well with him (Nice Guy) and calls him Daddy.

Our relationship with Papa is still a bit fragile. He’s long accepted what can’t be changed. He won’t admit it but he’s proud of his first apo, too. Although, when issues come up about his own kids (us), he goes back heatedly now and then to what was and what if. In general, he’s somewhat happy of New Guy in Sister’s Life. One of Papa’s worries kasi is that she won’t find a respectable guy dahil single mom sya.

Everything’s not over yet. Long way to go pa di ba? But I hope it really turns out for the best. I myself have been relived of financial duties kasi kaya na nya. Hindi naman malaki sweldo nya but its enough for both of them. It helps that they still live in the house so medyo nakaktulong din yung rent-free situation nila sa finances. I myself have married my BF. He waited another 3 years (total of 7 years) for me, I’m glad he had the patience to do that.

Little Niece is pretty much spoiled by her mom…. not in a bad way, though. I don’t know how tough it’s gonna be for her as a one-parent kid now and when she grows up. Truthfully, I’ve never given it much thought kasi she is loved naman by us. And I figured di naman sya aware na ganun sya. But I was recently reminded of her “special” case when I heard some neighborhood kids she was playing with innocently asking her who her dad was. She stalling and quietly answered that she didn’t have a dad. Her words hit me and brought tears to my eyes. How young and tiny she was, at only 4, to say such big words. She’s been aware pala all along na iba sya. Even though she’s been calling my husband Daddy all along. Even though she’s been calling Nice Guy Daddy too. How insensitive of us not to realize na very perceptive ang mga kids ngayon.

I guess nakikita kasi nya na ang ibang kids may mommy at may daddy. Lalo na ngayon that she’s a school at nakikita nya parents ng ibang kids. I have also given birth to a baby, the second apo in the family. Little Niece loves Baby Boy to death pero lalo rin syang na-eexpose sa reality ng situation na wala syang tunay na daddy.

Well, I guess we made it through. My niece is going on 5. She is one hell of a child! Smart, pretty, mestiza … she does look like her dad, I suppose. But that’s where the similarity ends. She doesn’t know him, he’s never made contact. If he has, I guess only my sister knows. She’s doing well in school and I won’t be bashful about bragging that she’s gonna make the honor roll.

Naku, super novela na talaga ito. Sorry guyz!!!! Thanks for the space ha? I really needed to get it off my chest. Medyo heavy stuff kasi. I also needed to share, I guess.

[DaNa8]

I'm a single mom too to my 16 month old baby boy. I didn't get married and that's one of the best decisions I've ever made. Sana nga di ko na rin dineclare *** tatay nya kaso too late na. Medyo bulag pa ko during that time. His dad was willing to marry me though pero ako na umayaw kasi di sya stable. After more than a year of getting nothing from him(ako pa hinihingan nya ng pera at sumasagot ng expenses pag dinadala ko *** bata sa kanila), I decided to break it off. Good thing I'm stable enough and able to provide everything for my kid. As of now, ok naman kami ng bebi ko kasi I also have my family and friends to support me. I hope he'd grow to love me so much and appreciate the things I've done for me. Di ko lang alam kung ano na mangyayari pag dumating na *** time when he looks for his dad.

[rock_faerie]

ang saya! there are many who could empathize with me pala..
share ko *** tong quote na tinext saken..
"it's really tough to stay as a single parent in this world.. where everybody expects you to be with somebody.. but being a single parent is not about having no choice, rather, it's an opportunity to make intelligent choices..
more power to us!!

[dgs]

... I was recently reminded of her “special” case when I heard some neighborhood kids she was playing with innocently asking her who her dad was. She stalling and quietly answered that she didn’t have a dad. Her words hit me and brought tears to my eyes. How young and tiny she was, at only 4, to say such big words. She’s been aware pala all along na iba sya ...
i'm afraid for my daughter ... i don't know how she'll manage questions like that ... which is why i put off her schooling for one year until i couldn't stand the fact that she has no social life ... she knows that jimmy neutron & eliza & her other cartoon "friends" have moms AND dads ... but one day, while watching a movie with my sister where the main character's parents died,she commented "wala na siyang mama & tito" ... prayers pls, it really breaks my heart ... but it is all for the best that she does not find out about her father ... not yet ...

i have to put something in writing though ...what if something happens to me and she falls in love with a half-brother? :(

[aredNISA]

papano naman pag single parent.. tapos yung kid mo inako ng parents mo (meaning yung sa birth certificate nakalagay na ang parents mo parents nya rin, so legally magkapatid kayo)

PM me for ur comments

[sweetwahm]

i'm afraid for my daughter ... i don't know how she'll manage questions like that ... which is why i put off her schooling for one year until i couldn't stand the fact that she has no social life ... she knows that jimmy neutron & eliza & her other cartoon "friends" have moms AND dads ... but one day, while watching a movie with my sister where the main character's parents died,she commented "wala na siyang mama & tito" ... prayers pls, it really breaks my heart ... but it is all for the best that she does not find out about her father ... not yet ...

i have to put something in writing though ...what if something happens to me and she falls in love with a half-brother? :(


hi dgs, scary nga no? and very sad. well that's the story of my life... or my sister's, rather. it seems ok naman si Litte Niece, she's doing pretty well in school and she's got lots of friends. But even I am afraid for her, sa kung anu-anong mga questions na mae-encounter nya sa paglaki nya. Ewan ko, di rin gusto ng sis ko na makilala ng anak nya tunay na tatay. Sa ngayon, siguro. pero dapat lang siguro i-prepare nya anak nya sa mga bagay na yan. meron nga silang assignment sa school dati, magdala daw ng family pic. so dinala nya ang pic na 2 lang sila ng mom nya. i think it was very brave of her.

sa little girl mo naman, dgs...ok lang yan. ang importante mabuti kang ina. naniniwala ako na in time, darating din ang answers na kailangan mo. ganun din kasi paniwala ko para sa sis ko at anak nya.

[bleh]

hi, i'm not a single parent but reading your posts make me feel for you guys and gals. saludo ako sa inyo. if only my mom were the same then probably i wouldn't hate her so much. i grew up with an aunt without seeing my mom for yeesh, 20 or so years. then she shows up explaining why she didn't look after my sis and i, all the while she had a family of her own.

the first day we met again, she told me stories about my half brother. i don't think she realized how inappropriate that was because she was telling me how he was like since he was a baby. what am i to say? na buti pa sya may nanay na kinalakihan? so until now i can hardly count myself as her child. hindi mo pwede bawiin yung oras na nawala eh. lalo na yung oras na iniisip ng anak mo na sariling nyang nanay inayawan sya.

so your kids should turn out ok, coz you love them and spend time with them. one parent is much much better than none.

oo nga pala, yung spiel ko nung bata ako is to say my parents are working abroad. my relatives didn't want me to suffer socially. i did anyway coz i didn't like lying but i didn't want my relatives to feel ashamed so i went along with the spiel they gave me. tsaka makikita mo naman na hindi ok yung family life ng bata. lumalabas sa school eh. nung maliit pa ko kala ko mga friends parang ako rin sa magulang ko, disposable. so if your kids can maintain healthy relationships with people, don't worry too much coz you're doing ok.

[purply_hazy]

Hi! Got married at nineteen because of promises I foolishly believed. After four years (going on fifth) of marriage, my husband had another woman while he was working abroad. Still forgave him when he went back home but returned to the arms of that other woman upon his return abroad. Ok lang sana about the infidelity, I can take that for the sake of a so-called "family", I even endured years of lies and false statements for that, but what made me give up is how he managed to forget all about his family back here all of a sudden. No phone calls, no emails, no financial support, a change in every possible contact number, no nothing. My parent's found out that he's still with the other woman. At first I refused to give up, trying to convince everyone that he still loves me so much, but I began to think that I am punishing myself for that. I realized that I have to move on and plan my life and my son's life without him or else, he'd be bringing us down with his folly. Besides, it was his choice to leave us. How can I fight for someone who I believe doesn't really wanna be with me or love me in the same way he loves the other? Maybe I love him so much that I'd be willing to set him free. I have to decide while I'm still young and capable of reconstructing my life before depression ruins me. About my son, I would rather that he be separated from his dad too thatn have him grow up with someone like that to look up to. So this may seem so awkward, but can you give a 24 year old advice regarding how to get an annulment?

[DeNiro30]

Going to be a Single DAD soon...im still thinking whether i should tell my story...

But let me just say that single moms are great...

I married a single mom...now things are not going well...never thought it would happen to me...

[DaNa8]

^^^
I feel sorry for your wife. Nangyari na sa kanya before tapos mangyayari ulit. Pero I assume there's a big reason why.

[DeNiro30]

Many reasons yes...

But we will meet for Christmas...she wants to see me and i want see her too...

She says she still loves me..and i love her too...im stained for having extra-marital affairs during our marriage coupled with my paranoia about other men liking her...

I think im just afraid of my own shadow...

[DaNa8]

^^^
Then why don't you try again and make it work this time?

[shmi]

I'm a single mom as well. Nasa abroad ang father ng son ko, and eversince na nagkaroon kami ng pagtatalo lately, via internet na laman ito since umalis sya, hinde na sya kumontak sa amin and nag stop na rin ang financial support. Okay lang sa akin na wala sya, pero i felt bad lang sometimes for my son dahil sa ordinaryong argumento *** (na nangyayari **** sa lahat ng tao), ay kayang kaya pala syang i-give up ng father nya. My son is 7 months old pa ***, and I'm very very happy as of now, with my baby seeing him grow. Ang greatest worry ko lang palagi, is how to provide my son everything he needs in life. I have a part-time job and small family business pero syempre we can't be too sure sa takbo ng buhay.
Glad to meet you my fellow single parents.

[DeNiro30]

^^^
Then why don't you try again and make it work this time?


Good point...

I guess that is why she wants me to meet her this Christmas...all anger might have fizzled down now...hope things will turn out for the best...

Thanks.

[purply_hazy]

Good point...

I guess that is why she wants me to meet her this Christmas...all anger might have fizzled down now...hope things will turn out for the best...

Thanks.


Go for it bro! I wish you luck. There are too many broken hearts out there already, nice to know you're trying to save two people from being a part of the statistics.

[purply_hazy]

I'm a single mom as well. Nasa abroad ang father ng son ko, and eversince na nagkaroon kami ng pagtatalo lately, via internet na laman ito since umalis sya, hinde na sya kumontak sa amin and nag stop na rin ang financial support. Okay lang sa akin na wala sya, pero i felt bad lang sometimes for my son dahil sa ordinaryong argumento *** (na nangyayari **** sa lahat ng tao), ay kayang kaya pala syang i-give up ng father nya. My son is 7 months old pa ***, and I'm very very happy as of now, with my baby seeing him grow. Ang greatest worry ko lang palagi, is how to provide my son everything he needs in life. I have a part-time job and small family business pero syempre we can't be too sure sa takbo ng buhay.
Glad to meet you my fellow single parents.


I feel for you. We have the same story, good thing my parents and my brother treat me and my son as spoiled brats, but that doesn't stop me from doing everything I can to make something out of myself and make it big - not just for my boy but for me as well.

[DaNa8]

Good point...

I guess that is why she wants me to meet her this Christmas...all anger might have fizzled down now...hope things will turn out for the best...

Thanks.

Good luck! Hope things will work out. :)

[DaNa8]

I'm a single mom as well. Nasa abroad ang father ng son ko, and eversince na nagkaroon kami ng pagtatalo lately, via internet na laman ito since umalis sya, hinde na sya kumontak sa amin and nag stop na rin ang financial support. Okay lang sa akin na wala sya, pero i felt bad lang sometimes for my son dahil sa ordinaryong argumento *** (na nangyayari **** sa lahat ng tao), ay kayang kaya pala syang i-give up ng father nya. My son is 7 months old pa ***, and I'm very very happy as of now, with my baby seeing him grow. Ang greatest worry ko lang palagi, is how to provide my son everything he needs in life. I have a part-time job and small family business pero syempre we can't be too sure sa takbo ng buhay.
Glad to meet you my fellow single parents.

I just thought di kaya may iba na syang babae to start with at naghahanap na lang sya ng dahilan para makipaghiwalay sayo? Bayaan mo na, what's important is that you give all your love and support to your child.

[shmi]

I just thought di kaya may iba na syang babae to start with at naghahanap na lang sya ng dahilan para makipaghiwalay sayo? Bayaan mo na, what's important is that you give all your love and support to your child.

long story, pero hinde ***** **** nya ko gusto from the start.pero past na un ang kinaiinis ko lang me pgka selfish sya coz dahil simple argument *** kaya nyang talikuran *** bata.anyway, ok **** kami kahit wala sya. masaya rin naman.

[DaNa8]

I see. Meron talagang ganyang mga tao na kayang tiisin sarili nilang anak. Maybe the fact that he didn't really love you added as a factor para iwanan nya kayo. Just be strong for your baby. Good luck!

[shmi]

I feel for you. We have the same story, good thing my parents and my brother treat me and my son as spoiled brats, but that doesn't stop me from doing everything I can to make something out of myself and make it big - not just for my boy but for me as well.

well, lucky you. i hope we make it big even without a partner sabi nga "men are like blender, you like to buy one but not quite sure why"
:)

[super nanay]

after a year of struggling to save our marriage, we both realized that it is beyond repair and it is best for us to separate.

what's surprising is that i feel relieved, relaxed, and somewhat happy. hindi ko nararamdaman yung malungkot, umiyak, habulin yung asawa ko at pigilan syang umalis. hindi ako nagkaroon ng urge to text or call him after he left.

i do feel sad because of the fact that my marriage failed. but i look forward to what i can do now that i am alone. i will soar and fly high. my kids are also happy - not that they wanted my husband to leave. but because they are no longer walking on egg shells.

sabi ng sister ko, girl power!

that's the spirit girl! kaya natin ito, i'm a single mom for 4 years now, at first i was thinking na baka hinde ko mapalaki ng maayos ang mga anak ko, pero God is so good, hindi iyon naging kakulangan para lumaki ng maayos ang mga bata.

[jan_stellar]

hi guys.. sali ako ** ha :) i have two baby girls... my eldest is 2yrs old... my bunso is turning 1 on the 29th :)

[dimps_dc]

Hi! Been a single mom for quite some time na... sa una masakit syempre pero in the long run, i've learned to reconnect with myself again. I'm starting to enjoy life, luv myself again & i know deep in my heart na kaya ko kahit kami lang ng baby ko... Plus I have God & my family on my side :)

[shmi]

Hi! Been a single mom for quite some time na... sa una masakit syempre pero in the long run, i've learned to reconnect with myself again. I'm starting to enjoy life, luv myself again & i know deep in my heart na kaya ko kahit kami lang ng baby ko... Plus I have God & my family on my side :)

hi sis dimps-dc pareho tayo, im a single mom din, and sobrang hirap din noong una, pero i look at myself now, i'm the happiest mom in the world yata, with my baby and my family. This is the happiest time of my life unlike when i still talk to his father, puro sama ng loob.
This is also the happiest crhistmas for my family, since the baby arrived. Wala na ako sigurong mahihiling pa, except stability ng business for the future of my child.

[melquiades]

im single... unattached..

[baklita]

pano ba maging single mom... gusto ko eh.
sana mabuntisan nako... puputi na ang uwak.
iiwanan ko talga si tom cruise at brad ipit.

aihihihi!!!

baklita

[babymomma]

Hello there! Wala lang Im at work now and I got nothing to do so nakita ko *** tong thread na toh. Just wanna share that Im a single mom too … my son is 6 yrs old now and in 1st grade na. I had him when I was 17 kaya I never got married coz I was young that time. Mga 2 yrs na rin kame hiwalay ng dad nya … pero friends naman kame now. There are just some things na hindi namen makapagsunduan. Im happy coz my parents are here to support me. I know there will come a time na gusto ko na rin magkaron ng family of my own kse mejo minsan naghahanap ang anak ko ng kalaro. Wish ko din sna ang magsuot ng wedding gown and maglakad sa isle :) Im working now and im doing ok pag may chance na lang ulet I’ll go back to school n continue my nursing. Im very thankful to God that he gave me my sweet, loving, caring, smart, playful son.

[melquiades]

hi guys.. sali ako ** ha :) i have two baby girls... my eldest is 2yrs old... my bunso is turning 29th on the 1 :)

tama ba pagkakabasa ko? :rotflmao:

[23and14]

Hi. I wanna share also my experiences as a signle parent of a 2 year old boy. Mine is a little unusual, in fact not even my parents knows the real story behind my pregnancy. Nevertheless, my son is the best thing that ever happened to me. He is really a gift from God.

I'm typically liberated. Though I have a serious steay, it doesn't stop me from going out with other guys as well. To make the long story short, i had a one-night stand which led me to become pregnant. Though the baby happened totally unplanned, i never thought of abortion. Feeling ko kasi sa tagal-tagal kong sexually active ngayon lang ako nabuntis so go na lang. With enough courage, I broke off with my bf and i tried my best not to touchbased with the guy that made me pregnant. I informed my parents when i was 8 weeks on the way. they accpeted my situation, no questions asked. Siguro kasi alam naman nila na eversince wala akong ginawang masama for them to hate and abandon me. Grabe, parang i wanna cry ah....

It was such a hard adjustment nung buntis na ako. I quit smoking, bed rest ako for 3 weeks, got hospitalize twice due to spotting. I gained 10 pounds. Lahat ginawa ko just to ensure na healthy ang baby paglabas.

Now, i was never been this happy. Though i gave up my old lifestyle, mas fulfilled ako kahit home - office lang ang weekday itenerary ko. Lahat ng decision ko and future plans nakafocus sa kanya. I can proudly say i'm doing good being a mom.

Minsan, nasesenti ako pagkausap ko mama ko saka pag i watch him sleep. Thing like yung discrimination sa illegitimate child pag medyo malaki na sya; or kaya pag nagtanong na sya where's his daddy; or pag eventually nagpakasal ako tapos he'll feel neglected. Though im not thinking of getting married anymore, feeling ko contented na ako sa buhay ko. Buti na lang din, im' financial stable kahit papano.

If i'm to bring back time, I will still choose the same path leading to my present situation now.

[acomeback]

Guys alam ko marami mag ju-judge saakin dito pero eto po ang situation ko:

Me and my GF are expecting to have a baby this coming March and our peers, her family(including her) and my family are expecting marriage. The thing is that I still do not want to get married yet. It is not that I am not stable or anything kc parang ang feeling ko tulad ng sabi ni besuto eh parang marami pa akong ma mimiss sa buhay ko. At isa pa hindi ako sigurado sa feelings ko sa kanya, kung *** na nga talaga *** gusto ko makasama sa buong buhay ko at ayoko naman mauwi *** relationship namin sa basurahan.
I know I am jumping into conclusions kaagad kaso un talaga *** nafefeel ko eh. One thing is for sure na excited na rin ako para sa baby ko and I am willing to support him (It's a boy) all the way.

Advice naman po please... :mecry:

[stepy]

hi guys,im not a single mom but im a sorta a stepmom to my bf;s daughter she's 11 months and i get to see her every two weeks pag nahihiram sya ni bf sa mommy nya,bf's family loves me so much and have great respect for me esp my bf's baby was conceived during the time *** na....tinanggap ko ang baby and right now im shouldering some of her expenses coz i earn more than my bf.nahihiya na din ako sa parents nya coz sila na sumagot ng hospital expenses nung pinanganak *** baby nya(i dont know why bkit ako *** nahihiya samantalang *** mommy hindi,inaaway p kim ngyn il she's still hoping pakasalan sya ng bf ko) im not a single mom pero parang ganun ang labas ako bumibili ng milk,diapers,clothes,toys,stroller na pinabili ko pa sa states para super heavy duty and assured ang safety nya sa stroller nya coz her own mom bought her a 500 worth na stroller sa garage sales na muntik na nya ikamatay (another long irresponsible story) my friends and cousins told me to stop supporting the kid ddahil hindi ko ddaw responsibiliad un pero hindi ko alam napamahal na sa akin *** kido and everytime magksama *** hindi na sya sumasama **** knino not even to her mom and dad.*** lalo ako napalapit sa kiddo pag lumalabas *** people always come up to us and tell us "magkmukha kayo mag ina" a big chunk of my salary goes to the baby good thing im addy's little gir; that why i still get by...although im earning a salary above call centers's agent slary just to give u a rough estimate humihingi p ako sa ad ko ahil medyo spoile si bf daughter sakin lht ng best line un ang binibili ko sa knya....alam ko mali pero ewan ko ba..........minsan sabi ng ng bf ko mas mahal ko daw anak nya keysa sa knya......to be honest i felt thay way sometimes

[DaNa8]

acomeback, I think your decision to not marry your gf is a good one. You don't want to marry for the wrong reasons then magpapa-annul kayo afterwards if things didn't work out. Just be sure to provide for the kid, financially and emotionally.

stepy, you're getting too attached to your bf's daughter. Just remember that you're not her mother until you marry your bf and apply for adoption. Baka kasi ikaw din ang makawawa if things didn't work out for you and your bf and you separate. Mas lalo kang masasaktan kasi di mo na makikita yung bata.

[MaiKa]

23and14, i'm in a similar situation. single mom din ako and the father of my baby and i broke up before i discovered i was pregnant. he didn't want to have anything to do with us (ma-pride ako, never ako naghabol) so ngayon it's just me and my baby, though we live with my family. how do you plan to tell your baby about his father when he starts asking? prob ko kasi yon e. i don't want to lie naman.

stepy, natakot naman ako for you sa ginagawa mo. i'm not saying it's wrong pero you're making yourself vulnerable. lalo na at galit pala yung mommy ng baby sa inyo ng bf mo. she can use her child to emotionally blackmail you. alam mo yon, yung tipong di ipapahiram sa inyo until she gets what she wants.

[23and14]

Hi Maika, Actually it's my dilemna. Pag dumating na yung time na m son if old enough to ask me questions pertaining to his father. Much as i want to tell him the truth, of course i can't say naman na kasi medyo pakawala mom mo dati eh... That's why as early as now, i'm investing alot of love for him. Yung tipong whatever bad things i did in the past, it change when i have him na. Sabi ko nga db may baby is the best thing that ever happened to me. So siguro pagpinuno ko na sya ng love, he will be contented. Time will come na i really need to tell him the truth pero i raised him to be understanding so i konw can matatangap nya rin ang situation namin. My baby really made me a better person. I was never this sensible.

[acomeback]

@DaNa8
Yup. my support is all the way pagdating sa baby... un lang talagang marriage thing ang magulo para saakin. Actually, noon ko pa gusto makipagbreak-up sa GF ko (hindi ko pa alam na buntis sya noon though may hint na ako) kaso *** baby lang talaga ang inaalala ko. At ang pagkakaintindi ko sa sinabi ng parents nya ay kung walang kasal ay dapat putulin na namin ang communication namin totally (paano naman kami ng baby ko). Advice pa po please...

[DaNa8]

acomeback,
Medyo mahirap yang situation mo. Parang binablackmail ka ng "in-laws" mo na pakasalan yung anak nila. Maybe they felt insulted when you didn't want to marry your gf. If you can take it, maybe you could live with her without getting married. Worst case scenario, pwede kang magfile sa court for your visitation rights. But I do understand where they're coming from. I also don't want to have anything to do with my son's father pero it's a different thing naman since he wouldn't provide for my kid. At ako yung umayaw na magpakasal sa kanya. I hope you will eventually reach a compromise with them.

MaiKa, 23and14,
I actually envy you guys. At least you're living life peacefully with your babies. Ako laging ginugulo ng tatay ng anak ko. Kesyo gusto laging makita baby ko, di naman nagpoprovide for him. Hopefully by the time my son asks about his father, malayo na sya at wala na kaming contact.

[calhil]

stepy - mag isip isip ka,been there before sobra sakit at the end


dana8 - parehas tayo super kulit ng sperm donor pero he's giving support naman

[DaNa8]

^^^
Hehe, dapat ata yan din itawag ko sa kanya. I regret that I put him as father in my son's birth certificate. Sana nga di ko na rin sinabi sa kanya na buntis ako dati at nakipaghiwalay na lang ako.

[23and14]

grabe naman guts ng father of your son! As in wow! Pero in law, you need to acknowledge his right talaga kasi naka-sign sya sa birth certificate ng baby mo. So as in equal rights. Wheww....

for my case, walang father signature ang birth certificate na anak ko. He uses my surname and technically wala syang middle name. Pero ok lang kasi at least i'm the only person who's sole responsible for him. Saka when we went out of the country, hindi ko na kaylangan ng parental travle permit.

siguro kasi i'm this confident dahil my family is always there to guide me. plus the fact na i'm doing good naman financially. kaso pag-inatake na ako ng senti, naaawa ako sa baby ko being tagged as an illegitimate son.

Anyways, i'm still proud of being a single mom. If i'm to bring back time, i will still choose the same path that lead me to having a 2 year old son now.

God bless!!!

[23and14]

grabe naman guts ng father of your son! As in wow! Pero in law, you need to acknowledge his right talaga kasi naka-sign sya sa birth certificate ng baby mo. So as in equal rights. Wheww....

for my case, walang father signature ang birth certificate na anak ko. He uses my surname and technically wala syang middle name. Pero ok lang kasi at least i'm the only person who's sole responsible for him. Saka when we went out of the country, hindi ko na kaylangan ng parental travle permit.

siguro kasi i'm this confident dahil my family is always there to guide me. plus the fact na i'm doing good naman financially. kaso pag-inatake na ako ng senti, naaawa ako sa baby ko being tagged as an illegitimate son.

Anyways, i'm still proud of being a single mom. If i'm to bring back time, i will still choose the same path that lead me to having a 2 year old son now.

God bless!!!

[DaNa8]

Actually, parehas tayo. My son also carries my surname and has no middle name. Kaya nga, nagsisi talaga ko nung nalaman ko yung about the travel permit. Pero ok lang, wala naman syang financial resources para mag-file sa court re his visitation rights kaya he's still at my mercy, hehe.

[acomeback]

Waaaaaah... Kawawa naman pala ang magiging labas ko kung magkakataon... Papano kung masulsulan siya ng parents niya na wag ipakita saakin yun bata... One more thing, possible ba na ibigay ko *** pangalan ko dun sa bata without getting married?

[acomeback]

Addendum:
In the worst way, I think I would be forced to file in court my right as his father. Pero sabi ng parents ko mas lalalim lang daw *** galit ng family ng GF ko saakin kaya diplomacy daw muna sa ngayon baka makuha pa sa langis ang kinakalawang nilang pag iisip... (lalim)

[23and14]

acomeback, yes it's possible.

with the revised family code, your baby can use your surname even out of wedlock. As long as you sign sa birth certificate, you have equal rights sa welfare ng bata.

Still, no matter how many advice you get from this thread eh it boils down to your final decision. all things put into consideration, i agree na you don't have to marry your gf just because you made her pregnant. however, check the long term effects also for you, your gf and of course, your unborn baby. you need also to take into consideration the pressure and stress your gf is into right now. i suggest you talk to her and make it a point that decision will solely come from you and her (no in-laws influence).

I just want to clarify something. kasi you mentioned that the baby will arrive march right? Do you have final plans of the wedding already? Baka naman kasi all the while you have doubts pala getting married tapos you never discussed it to your gf. lalabas na pinaasa mo sya then you'll just back off like that. you have reason, pero sana sinabi mo na sa kanya at the early stage of her pregnancy. decide fast. also, i think it's worth mentioning that whatever the mom is feeling, na-a-absorb ng baby sa womb. at your gf's situation, i don't think its healthy for her to experience pressure, stress, hurt or anything negative. it might harm you baby.

Financial support is not the only measurement for you to be tagged responsible. I thinks it's more of coming up with the most approriate decision that's the least hurting for all people concerned even if it means sacrificing a little.

Nevertheless, good luck and please update me....

[23and14]

acomeback, court case it too complicated. as in we're talking about years of judicial practice of going to hearing and so on. i'm getting the impression na your parents support your decision not to marry your gf and it's good. but are the family of your gf that bad? or are they that conservative and traditional? i think before you think of this possibilities, i suggest you clarify things first with your gf as she and your unborn baby are the main concenr here....

goodluck!

[acomeback]

@23and14
Actually my parents are disappointed with my decision of not marrying kasi both OUR parents are a bit old fashioned. Wala pa talaga plans tungkol sa kasal at open naman ako sa GF ko about sa stand ko about marriage since bago pa kami magkaroon ng commitment, if this would happen. BTW, two years older po kasi GF ko saakin at nasa marrying age na po siya kaya siguro bigla nagbago *** stand nya about sa marriage thing and/or because of family and peer pressure.

Alam ko din po un tungkol sa stress effect dun sa bata kaya as much as possible ayoko pinagiisip *** GF ko about things na hindi niya gusto marinig na maaaring makakaapekto sa kanya at lalo na po sa baby.

I am still weighing things out (long-term) kung ano po *** pros and cons and their effects ng magiging desisyon about marriage.

Thank you po sa advice about the family code (what a relief). I really do need luck on straightening this out. Advise pa po kung meron... Thank you ulit. :mecry:

[cmars2]

Haynako problema talaga ang mga lalaki.
I'm 22, single mom and the sperm donor is nowhere to be seen. If there's one thing na pinagsisihan ko eh yung binigyan ng name ang anak ko. He's using his father's surname and he's actually recognized BUT hanggang doon na lang yon. We have never received any financial or emotional support. And here's the stakes, gusto nya pang makipagbalikan ako sa kanya. :down: Loser.

[DaNa8]

acomeback
If you could talk to your gf and explain to her your side without your in-laws around, maybe she will come to understand you. Do you even plan on living with her once the baby comes out or do you just plan to visit? The problem is she may opt to not declare you as the father of the baby in the birth certificate and that would mean zero rights for you.

cmars2
We're in a similar situation. The sperm donor does say he loves my son but do not provide financially. How could I understand him when he doesn't even exert an effort to find a decent job to provide for my son? So I'd rather he doesn't have anything to do with us.

[purpleheadd07]

i did not marry the father of my one month old son since i don't think we could afford it. he has no stable job and though he has plans for us good opportunities are just hard to come by. we are not living in either in fact d pa nya nakikita anak niya na dinala ko na sa province with my mom. i still don't know what's in store for us and though i'm not demanding for financial support just yet i'm pretty sure i'm gonna have to in the near future esp kung gusto niyang tuloy tuloy na maayos relationship namin. mahirap talaga to depend on someone esp kung kahit siya mismo ay nahihirapan to fend for himself. i've to give him enough credit though kse kahit papano he is dong his best naman to earn money. bahala na, wait and see lang muna stance ko for now. i'm still waiting for him also to visit us so he can see his son na din.

[acomeback]

@DaNa8
No, we have no plans of living together. I am planning on just visiting them. I do have the means of getting married and supporting them both financially, pero hindi ko pa talaga kayang magpakasal sa GF ko kasi meron pa akong hinahanap sa relationship namin para mag click at sigurado ako na in the long run magkakaproblema lang kami kung magpapakasal ako sa kanya. Financial support is out of the question here... as I am very much willing to provide for the child's needs. Ang problema ko lang ay kung ilayo nila saakin yun bata at yung magiging relationship ko sa GF ko. Just as you have said, we(father) are at your(mother) mercy di ba?

[DaNa8]

^^^
Just explain that to her then. But I won't blame her if she doesn't understand you, especially now that she's in an emotional whirlwind because of her pregnancy. You're at your gf's mercy if she didn't declare you as the father's child. If she did, I think you have the financial means to file a case in court when things get worse. Also, she couldn't go out of the country with the child unless she has travel permit from you.

[DaNa8]

i did not marry the father of my one month old son since i don't think we could afford it. he has no stable job and though he has plans for us good opportunities are just hard to come by. we are not living in either in fact d pa nya nakikita anak niya na dinala ko na sa province with my mom. i still don't know what's in store for us and though i'm not demanding for financial support just yet i'm pretty sure i'm gonna have to in the near future esp kung gusto niyang tuloy tuloy na maayos relationship namin. mahirap talaga to depend on someone esp kung kahit siya mismo ay nahihirapan to fend for himself. i've to give him enough credit though kse kahit papano he is dong his best naman to earn money. bahala na, wait and see lang muna stance ko for now. i'm still waiting for him also to visit us so he can see his son na din.

Good for your son's father. At least he exerts effort to find ways to provide for your child. (Unlike my son's who's deadbeat.) You really couldn't call him your child's father when he doesn't provide emotional and financial support. Why did you settle in the province anyway? Do your parent's disapprove of him? He'll find it hard to visit your son since you're far from him.

[purpleheadd07]

hi daNa8, wala akong bahay dito. i live in a studio type apt and there's no one to look after my son kung ititira ko sya dito kaya the option is to leave him at home with the lola. i intend to settle there din, the condition is for both of us to live there if we decide to live together. ayoko mag raise ng family dito sa manila.
pasensya na kung magulo, i'm here in manila now but i'm going back to the prov tom as technically am still on maternity leave, babalik din ako dto sa mla after.

[DaNa8]

^^^
I see, you have no choice pala. It's really better to let the lola take care of the baby than trust him to a yaya. :)

[eroa]

A year ago today, I shared my story. You know, just to let it out. I guess, after almost two years since my wife moved on and raising my son practically on my own, the experience of being a single parent since that post would merit an update.

However, I do not want to bore anyone with details. We all have our stories and it would take literally volumes if I were to share mine. Actually, I could just sum it all up in one word: Enriching.

I'd like to thank all those who, to my surprise, reached out and responded to the post. Thanks, too, the ones who, like me, bravely shared their stories via their posts. The wealth of knowledge and consolation I have picked up from you and your experiences have truly helped me in this journey. There truly is comfort to be found in the company of strangers.:)

[noahlove]

I'm a single parent by choice. As soon as I've found out that i'm going to be a mommy right then and there i knew i'll be going it all alone. Lucky for me my parents, siblings and friends are all very supportive.

[23and14]

hi single parents!!!

just like to clarify something... if your child is illegitimate (as in he/she carries the surname of the mother ha), the mom no longer has to apply for a parental permit. Technically and by law, the father has no right to acknowledge the child.

again, i'm 28 and a single mother to 2 year old son. i opted not to get married and looking back i believe i indeed made the right choice.

Personally, i enumerate some of the advantage of being a single parent:

1. Full custody for the welfare of my son
2. No need to file parental permit when we travel out of the country
3. I have the option to maintain my old lifestlye though i choose not to
4. I still entertain suitors and date some once in a while

However, there are also major disadvantage being on this situation:

1. My son has no middle name
2. Discrimination i feel during family get-togethers especially if topic is husband-oriented
3. Fear of questions my baby would ask me if he grows up and look for his dad.

My baby is the best thing that ever happened to me. If i'm to bring back time, i will still choose the same path that leads me to have him now. Sana when he matures, he will understand me for not marrying his father.

God bless us all.....

[DaNa8]

^^^
I believe you wouldn't need the travel permit if you didn't marry your child's father and didn't put his name in the birth certificate. I didn't know this at that time so the father's name was there in the birth certificate. :(

I agree with the pros and cons that you posted. One thing that bothers me most is what to tell my son when he looks for his father. Guess we'll just cross the bridge when we get there.

[purpleheadd07]

i guess some people are just not meant to be married. i remembered when i was about 19-20ish i told my friends that i'm gonna be a mom by hook or by crook by the time i turn 30, kahit walang tatay, kahit mapulot ko lang sa tabi-tabi hehehe...of course that was all just said in jest but then fate and luck smiled at me, i was 29 when i got pregnant and unmarried. awa ng Diyos d **** napulot sa tabi-tabi but still not enough for me to marry him. a week after i turned 30 i delivered my cutie baby boy and i just feel so complete. i still have unresolved issues with the father but i don't think i'm gonna marry him. my family just adores him (my baby) and dotes on him that nothing worries me for now. being in a family of absentee fathers, my own father passed away when we were young, my husband's sis works abroad so halos lahat *** wala prominent na father figure so i'm kinda thinking it wont be a problem if ever maghahanap sya. i think yung mga naghahanap ng tatay or naiinggit sa friends nila only happens in the movies, ewan ko lang. i somehow believe that kids nowadays are more intelligent and understanding. of course it would be nice having a father around but then life is not always like that so pray na *** tayo that everything will still work out fine.

a few days ago after taking care of my little boy for a while, my niece commented " sana meron ding single parents day, hirap ata nun!" sana nga meron noh! :)

[purpleheadd07]

when i filled up my son's birth cert i placed the name of the father though i did not want him to have his family name. buti na *** the hosp admin told me na d pde yun and adviced me not to put his name na lang. buti na ***.

[DaNa8]

^^^
Buti ka pa, napagsabihan. Actually, medyo blinded pa ko during that time. I even wanted to get married, buti na lang di natuloy. hehe. Yung tatay nya kasi nagbantay din saken sa hospital so I really had no choice. Ilalagay nya talaga pangalan nya dun sa birth certificate.

My mom and dad stay at home with my son. My dad's retired already and my mom's a housewife. My baby's so attached to my dad, he calls him daddy and wouldn't even go to sleep without him. Minsan nga nagseselos na ko. Hopefully, di na sya maghanap ng iba pang dad. :)

[noahlove]

Hello single parents!

I didn't put the name of my son's father on the birth certificate. There's no point, really. I can take my son anywhere and everywhere without asking for his consent. Madaling mag-apply ng passport, no questions asked.

I dread the day that son's father might turn up on my doorstep and ask for custody. Well, I'll fight him in any court.

[23and14]

hi noahlove!

we're fortunately caught in the same situation. my family and the rest of my other relatives are all supportive the day they knew i was pregnant. As in no questions ask and they are all excited for the baby. I was well taken care of during and after my pregnancy stage. All of them treats my 2 year old son as the lucky charm of the family.

so far, i'm financially capable of providing my son with above par living standard. good thing i have a brain, sumablay lang when i meet his father. hehe... (pero ok lang kasi at least i have a son now!)

With all of this, i'm really very grateful!!!

God bless

[sweetwahm]

Just wanna ask. My sis just got married, and from previous posts here, I mentioned she's a single mom. Buti nalang she finally found a man who adores her and her daughter. They didnt do the research before they married but now he wants to adopt my sis' daughter. Does anyone know how that goes about? Baka naman kailangan pa mag ask ng permission sa real dad nya.... eh di na yata ma locate yun. My sis also didnt put him in the birth certificate.

[DaNa8]

^^^
I think if she didn't put the dad's name in the birth certificate, there won't be any problem. Technically, your niece doesn't have a dad and the process for adoption will be easy especially since they're already married.

[23and14]

yeah, mas madali if the real fathers' name if not indicated sa birth certificate. after the adoption, the child can use na the surname of your sister's husband. Legitimate na ang bata and your sister has a family on her own na. Say my congratulations to her!!!!

Just tell her to be patient with the process. medyo dami kc arte dito. matagal and dami hokus-pokus.... actually madali lang kc child - friendly mga adoption laws natin. kaso lang its always easier in papers, pinapacomplicated lang ng goverment officials....

God bless!

[sweetwahm]

Thanks DaNa8 and 23and14!

I'll let my sis know. Dami pa nga nilang inaasikaso, they just got married kasi. Good to know na di na (hopefully) kailangan pa hanapin ang real dad ng anak nya. My sis doesnt want to see him anymore, and we have no idea where he is.

I know what you mean about the process! It can get to you sometimes but what can you do... you just have to be patient talaga. That's ok... ganun talaga.

Maraming salamat!

[23and14]

hi mommies!

sweetwahm - bottomline, your sister is foretunate enough to have a very understanding husband. for sure, she can't ask for more. every single parent would eventually ask and wish for a family of there own. hope she will be happy the rest of her life.

dana8 - share ko lang sa 'yo (and to all the other single parent like me), yesterday my son, my mom (lola ng anak ko. hehe) and i bought something sa mall (queen size bed kasi masikip na kami ng baby ko sa double size). My kasabay kaming bumibili na complete family (a little boy also with his dad and mom). I notice that my son is looking and observing closely sa kanila. Pag-nilalaro nung dad yung anak nya. pati anak ko tatawa. Then, i also notice na yung male sales attendant na nag-aasikaso sa amin na nilalaro sya parang feeling nya daddy nya. is it a sign that my baby longs for a father? o non-sense ang pinagsasasabi ko and i'm just making a big deal out of it. pero when you see the look on my sons face i know it's something eh.

God bless...

[sweetwahm]

thanks, 23and14 and yes my sister is fortunate. before she married, she and him were bf/gf for more than 2 years so i guess he must really love her and my neice.

as for your son, i think he is very aware nga wala nga syang dad. kasi kids ngayon are very perceptive even at a young age. We dont realize it, nao-observe nila kung ano yung 'complete' family.

i say this because of something that happened to my neice when she was about 4 (she's 5 going on 6 now). she was playing with some neighborhood kids and one kid (well you know how kids are...) asked her point blank where her dad was. She was taken aback, and she stuttered na "ahhh... no... no daddy." That was it for the other kid, of course. No big deal, and they all just got back to playing again. But for me to have seen that ... ang sakit, naiyak ako. She's so young kasi... and i realized there na alam nya talaga na di normal ang situation nya, na di sya part ng isang tinatawag na complete family. She's never known her dad... she wasnt even born yet when her mom and he separated. Oh I believe my little niece is happy enough... ang daming nagmamahal sa kanya. Pero after that incident I came to a realization that even at a young age, you cant hinde realities like this from a kid because they are so observant.

[23and14]

sweetwahm - i wanna cry. picturing my son faced with the situation you presented made me very sad. yeah, it might not be nothing to my son but he won't experience it in the 1st place if he has a complete family sana. my poor baby, sana ako na lang mahirapan. sana there's something i could do para wag na sya maka-experience ng discrimination. i'm hurt. now that my son is growing (and growing fast) baka it would be more difficult for me to handle our situation especially if it involves emotional trauma. i love my son very, very much. pero feeling ko he still needs some fatherly love. actually, i don't care *** environment eh. what hurts me it the fact na *** isang very important person na dapat present sa buhay nya hindi ko nabigay. diba that's so frustrating? sana nakakabili ng tatay noh.

just now i come to realize na kaya pala yung bestfriend ko kahit hirap na hirap living with his babaerong husband eh nagtyatyaga. i was pushing her to leave his hubby na and i remember her said na oo nga at palpak syang asawa pero he's a very good father, i can't leave him kasi kailangan sya ng anak namin.

i'm so down... please enlighten me.

[DaNa8]

23and14, I think there's relevant basis for your observation. As sweetwahm said, kids are so observant nowadays. Maybe he does realize na wala syang dad. Kahit anong gawin nating mommies, we can't blame our kids kung maghanap sila ng daddy. I think the key would be to explain to them well the situation when they're old enough to understand it.

[DaNa8]

...what hurts me it the fact na *** isang very important person na dapat present sa buhay nya hindi ko nabigay. diba that's so frustrating? sana nakakabili ng tatay noh.


Naiiyak na din ako, kakahawa ka. I think it's not fully our fault naman kung di natin sila mabigyan ng daddy. Maybe kasalanan nga natin that we weren't careful enough sa pagpili ng tatay nila. Pero I think it's best na di na rin nila makasama yung dad nila lalo na kung wala silang kwenta. We'll just have to do our best in raising our kids alone and give all the love we could for them. Hehe, sana nga pwedeng bumili ng great dad for our kids. Cheer up na ha. :D

[23and14]

thanks DaNa8 ha.... actually, i cried kanina sa washroom tapos i felt lighter. I'm now eating 1 pint of chocolate ice cream to make me feel better the whole day. i think i'm ok na. i will have to face the fact na lang na i have limitations talaga. and no matter how perfect am i in terms of taking care of my son, there are some things beyond my control. this is the life i choose so i really have to face all the risk and consequences!

hay, buti na lang my parenting 101. cheers!

[sweetwahm]

nakakinis naman kayo oh. Cheer up na... naiiyak na naman ako. But its true, no matter where I am or what I'm doing, everytime I think about that little incident, napapaluha ako. Ang liit liit pa kasi nya, tapos yun pa and itatanong. I know, I know, its nobody's fault... its just so sad. I'd like to believe she's well adjusted, sobrang dami ng nagmamahal sa kanya. And to hell with her real dad... my gawd, if he has the nerve to come back... baka di ako makapagpigil, grrr.. Anyway, for my neice, lalo nya lang siguro nare-realize din kung ano talaga ang complete family kasi ako may family na rin and I have a baby. So nakikita nya talaga na my son has a mommy AND a daddy. I'm just so happy my sis' husband wants to adopt her.

Hey, both of you, dont be down... ok lang yan, ganyan talaga ang buhay eh. Cheer up na, sige na. You just go do your mommy duties the best you can. Alam naman ng anak nyo kung gaano nyo sila kamahal eh.

[DaNa8]

23and14
No problem. Ok lang yan, all the trials will soon pass and it would make us stronger. :)

sweetwahm
Thanks for the kind words.

[leng_r]

hello :).

grabe kayo, naiyak ako sa mga pinaguusapan nyo dito (ambabaw talaga ng luha ko hehe). though hindi naman ako single parent (i guess i'm lucky i have a husband who loves me so much), nafi-feel ko rin yung mga kwento nyo, and that's because i have a nephew and a niece na both walang daddy. i mean, they do have, pero tulad nga ng ibang guys, iniwan nila mga ate ko before the kids were even born. kung minsan naiisip ko parang kawawa nga sila, pero when i see them happy with their lola and lolo (my nanay and tatay), with their titas and titos, and with their cousins, nawawala lahat ng pity ko for them. kasi i know they're getting enough (if not more than the) love and caring they deserve... without their dads. i admire my sisters so much, kasi yung pagiging single parents nila made them stronger as persons. maybe it's because their kids inspire them to be.

as for the kids naman, the key here is to raise them well. make them emotionally secure. i believe na kung mapapalaki nang maayos ang kids, i don't think there will be problems pag laki nila. yes, there will be times na magtatanong sila about their dads, and lying about it will definitely not help.

yesterday nga, i was able to watch a tv program sa QTV Channel 11, yung "Moms", and ang topic nila is about adoption, and ang guests nila were three pairs of moms and daughters na adopted. yung daughters eh talagang emotionally secure at love na love nila ang adoptive parents nila... well, my point is, kung sila nga eh adopted kids lang at ok naman sila sa family na nag-adopt sa kanila... then i guess yung mga kids without dads are way, way luckier than those adopted. kasi real parents and family nila ang nagaalaga sa kanila. haay... gets nyo ba ko?

anyways... good luck sa mga single parents here... i admire you guys! :)

[23and14]

wishing all single parent the best life possible!!!!! hoping for the most discrimination-friendly environment for thier children!!!!

[purpleheadd07]

we have a picture of Pope Benedict on our door sa haus, i would often point the pic to my baby and say "this is Papa Benedict!" so we would joke around the house that in case my son is asked who his mom is he would say na "i have lots of mommies!" (aside from me there's lola, and his titas and the cousins), pag tinanong **** who his dad is then he would say, "Papa Benedict!".:)

actually good for you na yun lang concerns nyo, ako i'm facing discrimination din sa work as i happen to be in an institution which is under a religious org and we are involved in a project which is promoting values formation. a couple of weeks back my boss talked to me that he is being questioned by a lot of people particularly the board about my status and that he has ran out of acceptable answers to say esp after telling him that i don't intend to marry. in short i'm hurting our co. image and that i should leave. he did not say it pointblank pero syempre na gets ko na. kaya i offered na *** to leave as soon as we finish our fiscal year which is this june. kaya eto i'm currently looking for a job kung pde nga online lang so i can go back home with my son and still earn...haay, madami pa issues. i just got back to work yesterday at sobrang heavy ng atmosphere sa ofc. not to mention na sobrang miss ko na baby ko. kakatulala. pagod na din ako umiyak eh. and i have to cut off my relationship with the dad. everything is just too much at the moment. ewan. sge baka magdrama pa ko. salamat.

[DaNa8]

^^^
Yikes, kawawa ka naman. But I guess di maiiwasan yung discrimanation since you worked in a religious org. Try making an account in jobstreet and jobsdb, baka makahanap ka ng work dun. About telecommuting, medyo mahirap maghanap ng nag-ooffer ng ganung job dito e. Most jobs really require you to be at the office. I think it's a good decision to cut ties with your kid's dad especially if it's draining you too much emotionally. Uy, cheer up na. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. :)

Just want to share this quote: I think, therefore I'm single. ;)

[23and14]

CORRECT KA DYAN DaNa8!!!!!

pwede pagamit ng iyong guide quotation? i think, therefore i'm single! Hehe that's precisely me...

purpleheadd07 - may God give you enough strenght to be strong and still. Nobody has the right to criticize you. Be proud, you're a mom! i'll pray for you every night. Titigan mo lang baby mo, for sure you'll feel better.

Hay, naiiyak na naman ako...

[purpleheadd07]

dnt worry so much about me. i'm ready to go na din naman. maybe it's just really time to move on and seek better fields. my officemates are encouraging me to fight for my job but i don't think it's still worth fighting for. let's just see matagal pa ang june, madami pa pde mangyari.

yeah, prayers are really helpful. keep them pouring. tnx a lot.

astig, "i think, therefore i am single!":cheers:

[asulle]

hi Dana8 and to everyone!:wave:

single parent here. katulad din ng iba dito.. very supportive family ko from the time na nalaman nila na preggy ako hanggang dumating na yun li'l sweetheart sa bahay.

to all the single parents out there! :cheers:

[DaNa8]

Elo mommies! :wave: I'm glad you like the quote, hehe.

purpleheadd07, baka nga blessing in disguise na din yan. You might find a better job than the one you are leaving.

asulle, welcome to the thread!

[MaiKa]

to the working single moms, have you ever heard of the single parent's ID? a former officemate told me about it. sa city hall daw mag-aapply and you'll be entitled to 7 days of parental leave if you have it (in addition to the number of days you're entitled to). i tried googling it so i can call the city hall to inquire pero wala akong mahanap na links.

[DaNa8]

^^^
I've never heard of it. Sige, inform mo kami pag may nahanap kang info re that.

[purpleheadd07]

never heard of it. sana parang discount card din for milk, diapers and other baby products and services. :)

[sweetwahm]

to the working single moms, have you ever heard of the single parent's ID? a former officemate told me about it. sa city hall daw mag-aapply and you'll be entitled to 7 days of parental leave if you have it (in addition to the number of days you're entitled to). i tried googling it so i can call the city hall to inquire pero wala akong mahanap na links.


Hi everyone :wave:

Di lang ako sure ha, pero I think this is only applicable to government workers. I work in a government agency and I have an officemate na single parent (matagal nang hiwalay sa asawa). Aside from the 3 days special leaves we are entitled to avail, she has an additional 5 days, so that makes a total of 8. Di pa kasama dun ang mandatory/ forced leave na 5 days ha. So she gets a total of 13 days per year. Yung special leaves (3 that everyone gets + 5 for single parents) ay non compensatory, meaning if you dont avail of them, they aren't added to your leave credits nor can you convert to cash. Dapat mag apply ka muna at mag submit ng mga required documents to be able to avail of the additional entitlements.

Hope this helped. :)

[starchase]

:wave: Can I join u? I'm also a single parent..I have 2 kids a girl and a boy..it's fascinating and challeging to raise my children by myself but very frustrating...specially when one of them is now a teenager...in high school...

[yvetsky]

hi to all single moms like me...naiyak ako sa post ni 23and14.....my baby is only 8 months old right now, am sure dadaanan ko rin yung experience mo ngayon, i know kahit anong protection ang gawin natin for our kids, we can never protect them from longing of having a father....this is something we really can't afford to give them kahit pa magkandakuba tayo sa pagta-trabaho..sabi mo nga kung makakabili lang sana ng tatay..kahit tatlo biili ako hehehe!!!

[23and14]

hello mommies!

starcase - welcome!!!

yvetsky - we will all have to be strong and face reality. kaya mo yan, you'll get enough strenght from your little angel.

God bless...

[peeyaa_ganda]

hi mommies!!!
ang single parent po ba ay SINGLE (as in hindi married na parent) parent
o SINGLE (sole support) na prent?

because i am a SINGLE (hindi pa married) mommy to be...
and marriage isnt discussed yet...
not because the dad and I were not ok,
infact wer uber so OK.
first reason, is because im under a petition
mahirap mabago yung status...
tapos, wed found out that it will take 5-6 yrs pa at minimum
we thought na hindi na impt yung petition...
tapos wala lang siguro well get married din
wer not rushing things lang...

as long as wer ok naman, i dont see any prob

with the dad naman...
hes very responsible, he provides for us infact, most of his earnings ay para kay baby
mature enough to be selfless

am i in?

[starchase]

thanks 23and14 sa pagwelcome...

marami talaga kailangan i sacrifice and single parent kasi always we need to priorities are our chikiting before anything else...

i've also experience my daughter crying because one of her cousins teased her of not having having a dad...needless to say she came running to me and asked why she didn't have a dad and if her dad ever loved her...she was 5 at a time..what can I say...my heart cried with her and I had a hardest time explaining to her why her dad and I separated when she was just 3 months old, after all she was only 5 at the time...she kept asking why? why? why? she's now 15 and still hasn't met her dad...and I know she still longs for a dad and often ask if it's okay if she tries to find him...yes it's okay...but we can't find him..and it breaks her heart..

[yvetsky]

awwwww :(

di bale am sure napalaki mo sya na strong and responsible...napaisip tuloy ako if i need to get in touch with my x para pag hinanap na sya ng anak ko pwede sila magkita..

[MaiKa]

DaNa8, purpleheadd07, sweetwahm: i asked my officemate (the one who told me about it) and she said yung ginawa daw nya is to go to the DSWD office sa city hall. may application form doon. she presented an affidavit that she's a single parent and a certification na resident sya sa barangay nya.

magawa nga ito... can't hurt to try diba? at least may additional 7 days ng leave pa.

[starchase]

yvetski thanks, and also never say anything bad about their dad kahit absent pa sila all their life...hindi kasi nila maintindihan eh..kasi yung longing nila for their father eh..i once told her about her dad which i regretted after a while kasi kasi even though she didn't tell me about how she felt at that time i found out later on na she didn't like it when I told her that..so she thought I hated her dad...so i had to say sorry for saying it..

now she's finding it out for herself..i helped her find her dad but we only found her grandma residing in hawaii and she was able to speak to her a couple of times and her grandma promised that they'll keep in touch, but the third time she tried calling her again, her grandma's number was no longer in service..but at least she was told by her grandma that her dad works in alaska now..now she tells me that maybe i was right about her dad after all..he could have contact her but didn't...but i still don't dare badmouth her dad..

[yvetsky]

hi starchase- actually, wala tlaga sa plan ko i badmouth dad nya...he is a good person..kahit nasaktan nya ako, i know he doesn't mean to hurt our daughter...kung ano man mangyari in the future, i will just try my best to make sure na kaya ng anak ko lahat ng pagdadaanan nya sa buhay

[MaiKa]

update lang on the ID thing. i know na kung anong tawag don. it's called "Solo Parent Identification Card". i got the details from DSWD's website, here's the link: http://www.dswd.gov.ph/faqdetails.php?id=41

there's a law pala called the Solo Parent's Welfare Act (RA 8972). i'll copy and paste some things i found important from DSWD's site:

Q. What is RA 8972 or the Solo Parent’s Welfare Act?

A. Republic Act No. 8972 or the Solo Parents’ Welfare Act of 2000 is an Act that provides for benefits and privileges to solo parents and their children, appropriating funds therefor and for other purposes. The Act aims to develop a comprehensive package of social development and welfare services to solo parents and their children to be carried out by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (lead agency), various government agencies and other related NGOs.

Q. When did the law take effect?

A. The law was signed into law on November 7,2000 and took effect on November 28, 2000. Its implementing rules and regulations was approved on April 2002.

Q. What are the Steps Necessary to Avail the Package of Services

A. A solo parent shall apply for a Solo Parent Identification Card (Solo Parent ID) from the City/Municipal Social Welfare and Development Office. Once the solo parent ID is issued by the city/municipal social welfare and development officer, a solo parent can apply for services he/she needs from the C/MSWD office or to specific agencies providing such assistance/services.

Q. What are the requirements in securing a solo parent ID ?

A. (1) Barangay certificate residency in the area (2) documents /evidence that the applicant is a solo parent (e.g. death certificate of spouse, declaration of nullity of marriage, medical certificate (if incapacitated) (3) ITR or certification for the brgy./municipal treasurer

for more info, click on the link nalang.

[metikulosa317]

sis, itong Solo Parent act ba is only applicable kung sa government nagtatrabaho yung single parent? or pwede mag-apply kahit na sino basta single parent to avail of the benefits?

my sister is soon to be a single mom. the father of the child, binura na namin sa buhay ng nanay nya at ng magiging pamangkin ko. ang problema namin is kung ano ilalagay sa birth certificate.

[yvetsky]

just leave the information about the father blank...ganun yung birth certificate ng baby ko....she carries my surname wala nga lang sya middle name.

[DaNa8]

update lang on the ID thing. i know na kung anong tawag don. it's called "Solo Parent Identification Card". i got the details from DSWD's website, here's the link: http://www.dswd.gov.ph/faqdetails.php?id=41

Q. What are the requirements in securing a solo parent ID ?

A. (1) Barangay certificate residency in the area (2) documents /evidence that the applicant is a solo parent (e.g. death certificate of spouse, declaration of nullity of marriage, medical certificate (if incapacitated) (3) ITR or certification for the brgy./municipal treasurer



Thanks, MaiKa for the info. Pwede na kaya yung birth certificate ng baby where he carries my surname? Kaso nakapirma din yung tatay ng baby ko dun pero we're not married naman.

[MaiKa]

metikulosa317, di lang for government employees itong law na ito. and according to DSWD's website, a solo parent is defined as:

Q. Who are considered Solo Parent ?

A. Parent left alone with the responsibility of parenthood due to (1) death of spouse, (2) physical and mental incapacity of spouse as certified by public medical practitioner, (3) imprisonment of the spouse for at least one year, (4) legal or de facto separation from spouse for at least one year, (5) annulment of marriage as decreed by a court or church, (6) abandonment of spouse for at least one year, (7) a woman who gives birth a result of rape and crimes against chastity, provided the woman keeps and raises her child, (8) unmarried mother or father who has preferred to keep the child instead of others caring for him/her, (9) any other person who solely provides parental care and support to a child provided he/she is a duly licensed foster parent of DSWD, or duly appointed legal guardian by the court through adoption or legal guardianship, and (10) any family member who assumes the responsibility as head of family as a result of death, abandonment, prolong absence or disappearance of parents/solo parent for at least one year.

about naman sa birth certificate, if you don't intend to involve the father of the child in the child's life, i suggest leave the info on the father blank. magiging father unknown yon and baka hindi pumayag na gamitin ng bata yung middle name ng mother. that's what i did sa birth cert ng baby ko pero nagpumilit ako na gamitin yung middle name ko and pumayag naman.

DaNa8, i'm guessing pwede affidavit stating na you're a solo parent, etc. then baka additional document mo nalang yung birth cert nya.

[DaNa8]

^^^
Ok, thanks. Tell us how you went through the application pag nagawa mo na ha.

[melquiades]

mahirap ba talagang maging single parent?

[melquiades]

hi all. i'm gonna be a single parent soon. :wave:

ei!! how are you na?

[DaNa8]

mahirap ba talagang maging single parent?

Mahirap pero kaya naman especially when you have support from family and friends. The dreaded moment is the time when your kid asks for his Dad. :(

[purpleheadd07]

so far, pinakamahirap for me was when i was recovering after my cs operation and i had to take care of Xan by myself, carrying him and puyat and deal with his colics, etc when my tahi still hurts. nakakaiyak talaga esp when he would cry like there's no tomorrow and i dnt really know what's hurting him. and it would have been better if a partner was there to assist me.
pero lately, medyo ok na kse my mom is taking care of him more along with my sis and my nieces. and my bro and sis buys him stuffs esp the luho ones like pamporma clothes and nice toys kaya all i really have to take care of is his basics like milk and diapers and wipes and vits. they even tell me that my baby is actually very lucky since a lot of people loves him and is taking care of him and will make sure that they will pitch in with his needs.
yun nga lang, i have this baby book which till now i haven't really completed since i don't really know what to put on his father's info, family tree etc. :(
and the theme for next june's smart parenting photo page is "me and daddy"

[DaNa8]

^^^
I had my parents to help me during the early days after my cs so it wasn't hard for me. Why don't you just leave the father's info and family tree blank?

[DaNa8]

Nagpunta nga pala "tatay" ng anak ko last Sunday. Nagbigay lang ng gifts kasi birthday nya the week before. Punta daw sya ulit next Saturday. Ewan ko lang kung tuparin nya yun. Sarap nya, buhay binata tas pabisi-bisita na lang kung kelan nya feel. :rolleyes:

[mcsa]

...............

[purpleheadd07]

i would want to have Xan and his dad have a "normal" relationship pero mukang nanay ko kalaban ko, she doesn't want them to be in touch. Have you seen Lost? medyo affected ako kina Michael at Walt. :(

[DaNa8]

^^^
Naks, ang bait mo naman. As for me, I don't like them to keep in touch. Selfish ba? Wala naman mapupulot na maganda anak ko sa kanya.

Wala kaming cable e. Saka tulog na ko pag palabas Lost sa 23. Hehe, early sleeper ako e sabay kami ni bebi.

[yvetsky]

Nagpunta nga pala "tatay" ng anak ko last Sunday. Nagbigay lang ng gifts kasi birthday nya the week before. Punta daw sya ulit next Saturday. Ewan ko lang kung tuparin nya yun. Sarap nya, buhay binata tas pabisi-bisita na lang kung kelan nya feel. :rolleyes:

yan reason why i did not allow the father of my kid to keep in touch with us, nag-alok sya financial help nung preggy ako, but i did not accept it kase if i did he will have the right to visit my daughter....ayokong weekend father lang, mas mabuti na yung wala kesa laging umaasa daughter ko na darating dad nya tpos inde tutuparin, masasaktan lang sya...

[DaNa8]

Actually, ako naman sumagot lahat ng gastos from birth to baptismal and birthdays ng anak ko. Naaawa lang ako sa kanya kaya pinapayagan kong bumisita paminsan-minsan. Pero kung pwede lang mas maganda nga na wag na lang sya magpakita. Buti, di pa nakakaintindi anak ko sa mga sinasabi ng "tatay" nya na pupunta sya.