working people-- help me out!!

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help me! im in dire need of help right now..

it's like this-- im now employed in a great bank (1st job), but the work is what i would love to refer to as mediocre.. i wont mention what so as not to offend anyone who has a similar job..

anyways, thing is this-- i am not happy-- AT ALL! ive been wanting to quit since the 1st week.. but of course, my parents told me to stay put for 6months and after being regularized, transfer to another dept.. so fine, being the good daughter that i am, i followed them..

but recently, ive been encountering a lot of "bad" things involving work (y'know-- typical office politics, bad work coupled with nasty clients.. you guys get the picture), thus giving me a stronger desire to just quit..

but if i quit-- what'll i do?! well, it's not as if i don't have options.. thing is, i have several (there's the family business, law school, mba, other companies, migrating..) and all are really appealing..

so, dilemma is this-- what do i tell my parents?! i know im not really young to let them decide for me.. i am capable of making intelligent decisions but it's just that i dont want them to think that i am a quitter.. i have this syndrome-- the 6months syndrome.. after 6months into something, i tend to quit.. haha.. ive done that last november and it'll be all too soon if i do it again..

so...?!?!

[KuyaDanny]

aajao might be able to help you.

[sayuri_succubus]

Originally posted by scroll


so, dilemma is this-- what do i tell my parents?! i know im not really young to let them decide for me.. i am capable of making intelligent decisions but it's just that i dont want them to think that i am a quitter.. i have this syndrome-- the 6months syndrome.. after 6months into something, i tend to quit.. haha.. ive done that last november and it'll be all too soon if i do it again..

so...?!?!

atleast ako one year syndrome :D

just tell 'em you're not happy with your job anymore and if you stay any longer you will go nuts.

I had the same dilemma last year. I wanted to resign from my job, though the compensation is good not to mention its 15 minutes away from home, well ngayon resigned na ako, I couldn't be any happier.

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just tell 'em you're not happy with your job anymore and if you stay any longer you will go nuts
uh, i dont think they'l buy this one.. my dad's a lawyer so i think he'll be probing in the matter more and will, of course, be needing a more 'valid' excuse.. my mom's a businesswoman so she'll probably interpret such excuse as discontentment and laziness on my part and she'll probably tell me that hardwork is the key.. yadda.. yadda.. so i guess i need something that will give them no other choice but to let me resign..

compensation is good not to mention its 15 minutes away from home
same here!! well, office is really near and compensation is really competetive-- 2 things which i look for in a job, proximity and the moolah.. but really, right now, i don't give a sh!t-- i just want to bail out!

[aajao]

hi scroll. :)

feel free to interview me. a couple of questions at a time will do so we could get into your concern and find a suitable solution.
i was once a banker, and had an ill-feeling towards banking, too. it's way out of my field. :nope:
i had a colleague who feels like how you feel whenever she reports to work.

parents may be right with what they want for us, and they always aspire for what is the best for us, but it is you who will always work on your own future. Let them (your parents) be your guidance, and not a conflict with what you want. ;)

so, are you ready to discuss? :)

[sayuri_succubus]

Then resign from the job first, then tell 'em later pag resign ka na, even though you'll never hear the end of it from them, wala na sila magagawa kasi resigned ka na. :D

Ganyan din ang iniisip ko noon, what will my parents think or say, bottom line is its your decision. Believe me honey if you hate your work and still not resign from it, it will leave you depressed.

If your lawyer dad probes, tell him "I hate my job! Case closed. Bawal na mag-appeal..." :D

Anyway, think about it and I do hope you find the right desicion, good luck girl.

[scroll]

sayuri_succubus--> haha.. your tactic is very appealing, but no, i don't have the guts to do that.. im too much of a good girl eh-- yknow, parents are always on top of my considerations.. but thanks-- when it comes to a point na il be super desperate, i might just do what you've suggested.. hehe

aajao--> hmm, so you were once a banker?! good.. so i guess we understand one another on that aspect..

anyways.. il lay the foundation-- for a clearer pic..

im a business mgt grad-- graduated a couple of years back..

took up law last june.. after 4 days in the 2nd sem, i quit.. (there you go with the first symptom of my so-called 6months syndrome)!

i applied for work, i got in..

now, barely 6 months in the job, i really want to call it quits.. i mean, 5+ months in a suck-y job is really draining..

but thing is, my parents think that this bank is so great that they want me to stay even if they know that im not really happy with what im doing.. they always tell me that i should be thankful that im working for an international bank-- not that im not capable of getting in other companies that are equally good..

anyways, here's the deal eh.. i think something's wrong with me.. i think i dont know what i want.. well, maybe now i do have an idea on what i want to pursue next (law- again)-- but that'll be june next year.. for the mean time, what'll i do?!

and here's another thing.. i dont think il be regularized-- call it a hunch.. they extended my probationary period to 6months (definitely a bad sign) and now my performance is not really good (coz my attitude towards work is definitely affecting my performance).. so what now?! quit while im ahead?! it's not as if that'll be too hard on my part!

can you still follow?! im telliing you, there are a lot of factors involved.. let's end it there.. now, throw some questions back..

[tina11]

it sounds like you've already made up your mind to resign, but don't really know what you want to do afterwards yet.

my only advice is, if you do decide to resign from your job, don't just grab a newspaper and take the first job that sounds interesting. take some time to explore the opportunities out there and think about what you would really love to do, and what you would also be good at. and don't go back to law school immediately, unless you're sure that you're not just doing it to "kill time". think about whether you really want to pursue a law career or not [if you think your bank is mapulitiko and your bank clients are nasty, imagine working in a law firm or city court].

if your parents are disappointed about you resigning, just tell them that you'll make them a hundred times more proud of you when you pass the bar or land your dream job, than they will ever be of you in your current job. :D

[aajao]

aajao--> hmm, so you were once a banker?! good.. so i guess we understand one another on that aspect..

anyways.. il lay the foundation-- for a clearer pic..

im a business mgt grad-- graduated a couple of years back..

ok, i'm a Mass Comm grad. then what the heap was i doing in a bank? :vamp:

took up law last june.. after 4 days in the 2nd sem, i quit.. (there you go with the first symptom of my so-called 6months syndrome)!

uh-huh...

i applied for work, i got in..

lucky you. many people are dying to have a job. :|

now, barely 6 months in the job, i really want to call it quits.. i mean, 5+ months in a suck-y job is really draining..

we have something in common here... pag 6 months na ko sa isang trabaho, feeling ko dapat nang lumayas! :glee:

but seriously, is there any factor (aside from your parents' advise) that makes you stay in your present job?

but thing is, my parents think that this bank is so great that they want me to stay even if they know that im not really happy with what im doing.. they always tell me that i should be thankful that im working for an international bank-- not that im not capable of getting in other companies that are equally good..

anyways, here's the deal eh.. i think something's wrong with me.. i think i dont know what i want.. well, maybe now i do have an idea on what i want to pursue next (law- again)-- but that'll be june next year.. for the mean time, what'll i do?!

parents will always be proud of their children when parents see them working in a stable company. i mean "wow! sigurado na ko sa kinabukasan ng anak ko!" whereas, it doesn't mean that they do not see beyond what they want for you. Of course they feel if you are happy or not with what you are doing. after all, you are their daughter. I just feel that parents always have the pride in themselves na hindi agad nila ipapakita sa mga anak nila na "tama ang anak ko, mali ang gusto ko para sa kanya kase di sya masaya..." sometimes we need to "show" them or better yet, "prove" to them that we will be a better person in ALL aspects if we follow what we feel is right for us and for our future. of course, we don't neglect their advises. we don't necessarily follow them to the letter, but we always consider them. then, "present" to them your thoughts.

as for being "pickle-minded", i suggest you think deeply how you see yourself three to five years from now. from that point of view, you can start achieving that goal by doing the first step now.

and here's another thing.. i dont think il be regularized-- call it a hunch.. they extended my probationary period to 6months (definitely a bad sign) and now my performance is not really good (coz my attitude towards work is definitely affecting my performance).. so what now?! quit while im ahead?! it's not as if that'll be too hard on my part!

did you happen to converse with your immediate superior regarding your evaluation?

can you still follow?! im telliing you, there are a lot of factors involved.. let's end it there.. now, throw some questions back..
i'm following... :)

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Originally posted by tina11
it sounds like you've already made up your mind to resign, but don't really know what you want to do afterwards yet.
--> true, but not totally.. i have an idea, but thing is, i want to make sure that this time, il be making the right decision.. coz right now, seems to me that im doing a trial and error-- yknow, trying out every possible option that i have and see what's best suited for me..

and don't go back to law school immediately, unless you're sure that you're not just doing it to "kill time". think about whether you really want to pursue a law career or not [if you think your bank is mapulitiko and your bank clients are nasty, imagine working in a law firm or city court]
--> here's the thing with law school-- after trying out law school and work, i must dare say that i think that im more "cut" for law.. and it's not really just choosing between the lesser of the two evils.. ive thought about this long and hard, and ive come to the same conclusion i had when i was a kid-- i want to be a lawyer.. and hell, il make sure that once im in school again, i wont be making the same mistake i did last nov when i quit.. but thing with law, it's not really my decision to make-- it's the law school's.. hehe.. il be taking one test on nov,.. if i pass, il go ahead, if not, where will i go?! thus, option 2.. business! branching out the family business is always a safe choice-- not to mention my course is really intended for that..

if your parents are disappointed about you resigning, just tell them that you'll make them a hundred times more proud of you when you pass the bar or land your dream job, than they will ever be of you in your current job. :D [/B]
--> ha! told em that already when i quit law.. il be needing a new line this time.. haha:)

[scroll]

Originally posted by aajao
lucky you. many people are dying to have a job. :|
-->i know!! tsk.. now, you're making me feel worse.. yknow, being an ungrateful b!tch that i am right now-- complaining bout work when majority of the fresh grad population is unemployed..

but seriously, is there any factor (aside from your parents' advise) that makes you stay in your present job --> il tell you this.. everyday, i DRAG myself to work.. as in everyday.. every morning when i wake up, my mind would start thinking of all possible excuses to go on sick leave.. so, what makes me stay?! hmm, other than having my own money (and spending every cent on whatever i want), i guess that certain 'pride' i give to my parents.. like what ive said, they're really psyched that im in this bank right now-- plus being the youngest in the family, i guess they feel some sort of fulfillment knowing that the baby is now earning her own moolah.. other than those-- nada.. no more reason for me to stay.. oh yeah, another one-- this thing often bugs me whenever i think of quitting-- where will i go after?! but right now that doesnt bother me much.. i have a fairly good idea on what to do next..

as for being "pickle-minded", i suggest you think deeply how you see yourself three to five years from now. from that point of view, you can start achieving that goal by doing the first step now. --> ive done this.. 2 things.. if not a lawyer, im ok with running the family business (after all, im the only one among sibs who has a business course).. either of the 2.. but of course, given the choice, id prefer the former.. but if i cant have it, il be perfectly fine with the latter.. now makes me wonder, what the hell am i doing with work?! hmm..

did you happen to converse with your immediate superior regarding your evaluation?
--> yep.. before.. recently?! not yet.. id have to do that tom..

anyways, i guess we're straying a lil bit from the dilemma.. hehe.. im not really into discussing what i want in life (i know ive raised that also, but then i have another prob that needs to be addressed asap).. my prob really is how do i tell my parents that i want to quit without letting down and without them trying to dissuade me?! i want a reason that'll leave them with no choice but to agree with me.. sigh.. so hard to please one's parents..

[aajao]

Originally posted by scroll
-->i know!! tsk.. now, you're making me feel worse.. yknow, being an ungrateful b!tch that i am right now-- complaining bout work when majority of the fresh grad population is unemployed..

oopss.. sorry about that. well, lets just face it. its the reality. and we can't live without reality. ;)

--> il tell you this.. everyday, i DRAG myself to work.. as in everyday.. every morning when i wake up, my mind would start thinking of all possible excuses to go on sick leave.. so, what makes me stay?! hmm, other than having my own money (and spending every cent on whatever i want), i guess that certain 'pride' i give to my parents.. like what ive said, they're really psyched that im in this bank right now-- plus being the youngest in the family, i guess they feel some sort of fulfillment knowing that the baby is now earning her own moolah.. other than those-- nada.. no more reason for me to stay.. oh yeah, another one-- this thing often bugs me whenever i think of quitting-- where will i go after?! but right now that doesnt bother me much.. i have a fairly good idea on what to do next..

it seems clear that you are unhappy. if this is the case, then there is no reason for you to stay. in working, it is true that we have to consider things. but if there is no happiness in what you are doing, then it is better to quit than stay and live with your work just to feel like dying every hour of your day.

good thing though that you have an idea on what to do next. :)

--> ive done this.. 2 things.. if not a lawyer, im ok with running the family business (after all, im the only one among sibs who has a business course).. either of the 2.. but of course, given the choice, id prefer the former.. but if i cant have it, il be perfectly fine with the latter.. now makes me wonder, what the hell am i doing with work?! hmm..

no harm in trying or giving second chances on what you think you want. but also consider time. once its passed, its history. now you need careful planning and deliberation. i wish you good luck. ;)


--> yep.. before.. recently?! not yet.. id have to do that tom..

go, girL! your immediate supervisor could give you some tips and a better outlook on banking and its environment. who knows? you might see the "other side" of it? :|

anyways, i guess we're straying a lil bit from the dilemma.. hehe.. im not really into discussing what i want in life (i know ive raised that also, but then i have another prob that needs to be addressed asap).. my prob really is how do i tell my parents that i want to quit without letting down and without them trying to dissuade me?! i want a reason that'll leave them with no choice but to agree with me.. sigh.. so hard to please one's parents..

good. now you're making things easier and less complicated. :glee:

seriously, i suggest that you look for something that you will be happy with. either to continue your law study, run the family business, or seek for a job that will fulfill yourself. and you can do this while staying (for the meantime) with your present job. don't give it up until the next step is already in your hands.

your parents will surely react, since it was never their idea for you. but hey! who knows yourself better? di ba ikaw? i love how tina11 put it:

if your parents are disappointed about you resigning, just tell them that you'll make them a hundred times more proud of you when you pass the bar or land your dream job, than they will ever be of you in your current job.

they won't kill you for deciding for yourself. that's for sure. and besides, you'll "suffer persecutions" from your parents in just a short time. its natural. but then again, they will begin to realize that their "baby" has grown old, and can make it on her own. day will come that your parents will realize that "it is my daughter's choice. we will support her because we can see her happy and fulfilled." :)

hold on, girL. it will just take time. but you have to make your move now. lots of luck. *okay*

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aajao--> thanks.. thanks for even bothering with my prob-- not to mention the long read.. :)

anyways, things are still the same.. wasnt able to talk to my direct supervisor to 'discuss' things.. well, it's not as if he can talk me into staying.. haha

i guess the intelligent thing to do right now is stay in the job for a at least a month or two-- and weigh my options while im at it..

as for making my move now-- believe me, there's nothing else i want to do than hand in my resignation.. but then of course, i still have stuff to consider..

[aajao]

hehe... basta stay there until the next option is "within your hands". you don't wanna be a bum, do you? ;)

good luck, girL! *okay*

[thebrain]

Hi scroll :) .

You are definitely not happy with what you are doing in work. I tell you, I know exactly how you feel.

I spent only four months with my first job, then 2 months on the second. I would always agonize in pain looking at the clock waiting for the uwian. I was so so really bored. Then I thought about the kind of work which wouldn't be boring for me - something that's challenging. I got it with my 3rd job.

My guiding rule: Find a job that you like and you will never have to work a single day in your life.

Some people get bored with the slowness of how things go in the workplace or even in school. Some other think about a number of topics and things as non-sense. So people drop out of school and become inventors, business tycoons, masters, etc. Others preferred to become scientists or astronauts instead of working in the office.

You probably have higher sets of standards than others. Your potential maybe greater than others.

to be continued ...

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aajao--> who told you bout me not wanting to be a bum?! ;)

thebrain--> hey there! totally agree with your guiding rule-- i know that, but thing is, i have to find what is it im really passionate about.. i am not quite sure if i really see myself working for long.. problem with being too flexible is i can easily settle for something-- but then of course, there'll be ocassional moments when you really want to bail out.. i guess i still have to think what is it i really want to do with my life-- my mentality before was the hey-im-young-and-it's-totally-justified-if-im-still-undecided way of thinking.. ergo, the trial and error test-- good thing bout this one, i was able to try out my options-- but then of course, down side of it is that im wasting my prime years doing things that are way off my target..

i guess i'm just expecting too much from the job-- after all, it is my first.. can't really blame me for being too idealistic, right?

[aajao]

aajao--> who told you bout me not wanting to be a bum?! ;)

just a wild guess? :D

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Originally posted by aajao
just a wild guess? :D
ha! you guessed wrong! there's nothing i enjoy more than having all the time to laze around! :D but of course, i cant be a bum forever-- unless i marry some rich old guy, then no need for me to work! tsk..