Can You live without your househelp?

[joben]

For some time now, my wife and I declared our independence from househelp. We noticed that we were *afraid* of losing these hired hands for fear of *doing everything ourselves* It was a preposterous thought but in fact, our former househelp seemed to take this as a reality in this urban jungle. As a consequence, they become *abusive*. The servant has become the master. We ended up tolerating their lies, eating everything in sight, doing so-so work, etc.

No more!

But its not easy. So far its been 6 months and 2 days since we've been *katulong*- free. Pluses: we stay within budget (food, light), privacy, no fear that strangers enter our homes with impunity when were not around, *forced* to spend time with the kids bathing, feeding, playing with them. Minuses: its midnight and youre still washing the dishes or scrubbing the welcome mat.

What about you, would you take the road less taken?

[kixter]

my wife grew up with a yaya, I grew up with a yaya and now that we are married, we do not have any yaya since we are taking everything into place to fit our budget for the two of us and our baby.... besides her mother comes in during the day while we work to take care of our baby and then goes home when we return..... tipid to the max kasi nde na nmin binabayaran mother-in-law ko..... :p

But my wife is pressing to get a yaya within this year so we might have to get one anyways............... :D

k!xT3r!!!
:hiphop:

[Gabriela]

I grew up with maids at home pero when I reached high school, we got rid of them and distributed the household work among ourselves.
We don't have a maid now, my spinster aunt is taking care of the toddler kid and the household. we employed a labandera/plantsadora (na malapit na naming sipain kasi tinutubuan na ng sungay).

[The_FLASH]

Here, yes houshelp will do.... but where I came from like Sydney... you don't need a house help or maids as you call it. And life is much better.

Ewan bat di uso sa mga aussie ang mga maids. They have a lot of childcare center though. business at work.

okies.... no worries...

[joben]

What really gets my goat is that when you start to treat them as if they're one of the family (same food as what your having), or you give them your old clothes (good threads except smaller ;), they start to think and act as if we would die without them, and that your doing all those things to *keep them*

You correct them for their mistakes and they want to go home because were cruel. hah!

AFAIC we're really so not dependent on them. We just think we are because of the kids and the small comforts we get when someone else cleans up after meals.

I was really happy reading an article in the Inquirer some sundays back about the author's *independence* from househelps.

ok. rambling mode ;)

[KuyaDanny]

We used to have three maids. One almost exclusively did the laundry until her boyfriend got her pregnant. Then she miscarried and decided to go home to the province to recuperate.

Instead of replacing her we decided to outsource the laundry to Mr Wash. It turns out we are still saving money.

Our bunso's yaya, Manang Tess, will be a lot more difficult to replace when she decides to say goodbye, though. She's been with us nine years and although she doesn't do much childcare anymore our sons seem to function best when she is at home to take care of things. She even helps check homework. How can you replace such a person?

[joben]

Kuya Danny

Good for you. Your Manang Tess is surely a gem. Unfortunately, I have not been as lucky. My eldest son's first yaya was also considered a *lucky* match but she felt the need to get married ;) so she left after about 3 years. Since then its been a string of one disaster to another.

[dudelish]

for some reason, we seem to have the worst luck with househelp.

that's why we got used to not having househelp. if we did, they were few and far in between. but we had some good people who worked for us.

one of the best househelp we had worked as a housekeeping maid in one hotel. holy cow, hospital corners ang mga kama. the rooms were vacuumed everyday, even the food was prepared properly. yun nga lang, she's been in manila for 7 years (she only stayed with us for a MONTH) and she needed to go to her province. sayang, we were offering her a raise and help out in paying for her family's home, kaso she refused. it was amicable naman.

then we had this other househelp, she lived with us for 3 years. then she decided to leave to study. kasi she already had a college education kahit na one year lang before she went to work for us. so we paid for her entrance fees, my mom and dad drove her to her entrance exam and she passed. she left and worked in the school to pay for her studies. i think she's now a manager in her department sa isang department store. she visits us from time to time, and gave us gifts during christmas. okay no?

[doc_irene]

we always have a househelp sa pinas. but now dito wala na...so i can say na i can live without them pala.

[Fairy_nd_meadow]

When my daughter was still a baby I'd say I cannot live without a househelp. But when she was a bit more independent I lived without a househelp in the Philippines. I do most of the house work myself even if I was working full time.

[ma_clara2002]

There was an article in the Inquirer written by a 60 plus lady who let her two maids go. She did everything herself. The way she described it was very inspiring. Her tale was full of humor.

It's doable and can be fun she says! Moral of the story: It's true cuz I've been there and done it.

[Dunedain]

We're actually living it since me and my wife got hitched and had a baby. It's more practical since I bring home most of the bacon and she spends her time with our child.

[singaporesling]

We used to have maid before kaya lang pinagnakawan na kami at pinagbantaan pa ng huling maid namin... that was more than 5years ago.

after that incidence ayaw na ng kids na magkarron ng maid. Division of labor kami. Pati kids sanay ng magluto ngayon (12 and 8 years old) . May 2 pumupunta sa house weekly to clean (allergy ako at youngest ko sa dust ) and to iron clothes.

mahirap but we are happy sa set up.

[junben_c]

isang reason or advantage sa pagtira sa pilipinas ay mayroon tayong mga katulong. mura ang cost of labor dito di kagaya sa ibang bansa. (per hour ang bayad sa babysitter sa usa). parang dinedeprive naman ang sarili kung di iaavail ang privilege na ito. by the way, baka may mairerecommend kayo na kasambahay o di kaya kahit employment agency man lang? naghahanap kasi ako ng isa eh. paki email na lang po sa junben_c@yahoo.com. thank you

[BadGiRL]

I can. But I'd rather not.

We've been trained by our mother to know how to do everything around the house. She made sure we can do them all *very* well, may I add. :D As in domesticated.

I've tried living without a maid for six weeks when I went abroad after my high school graduation. Didn't like it.

My siblings are leaving one by one to go to school abroad...except me. Hehehe. I refuse to live in a place where no one will do my laundry. And the entire clan knows that. :D Feeling senyorita kasi e. Hehehe.

We have a maid who has been with the family since my mom was in high school. and then my hatest maid has been with us since I was six. I'm constantly hoping she'll finally say yes to her boyfriend and get hitched so she can leave us na. :grrr: Pero, we must be treating them too nicely.

[chinkiechina]

Yes I can. I've always do things by myself even if we have somebody to help us with. In fact, I don't let other people do my laundry or iron my clothes. Maselan ako and if I can do it, I don't think I need to bother another person pa. Mas mabilis pa nga ang trabaho pag ako na lang gumagawa.

[sodemntough]

I tried and I cant... Siguro kung mag isa lang ako kaya ko. pero my child is in school someone has to be with him and someone has to make sure na kumain na sya or make sure na nakapag nap na sya sa tanghali. Paano ko gagawin yun kung nasa office ko. It might work for others but It didnt work for us.

[milkyman]

maids are somewhat of a luxury that neither of us can afford. daycare centres alone are very expensive. imagine having to pay maids or a butler to do daily household chores?! you have got to be kidding me.

[koopz]

as of the moment, i got boys, the eldest is 9 and the youngest is 2. my wife and i are both working and we had to go to the office from 9-6. so we really need helpers to look after the kids, you know how kids are at those age, we also need them to do the household chores (laundry, cooking etc...).

just 2 weeks ago, both of our maids went home to the province and it was hell in our place. my wife and i went on work-shift, she work in the day, while i worked on graveyard shift... and man, i was really exhausted in that 2 week span... so i think, in this stage of our lives, we need these househelps to do things for us, besides once you get to know them very well, they become part of your family.

about the abuses of these helpers.. well, that's in a case to case basis... me for one is really lucky with my helpers.... they are very trusthworthy, very neat and responsible....both are from bicol, and i can say that helps coming from this province are COOL to have...
:*)

[sodemntough]

i think merong maids na di maganda ang ugali in the same way na meron din namang employers na abusive dun sa mga maids..

[tina11]

If forced to, everyone can do their own cooking and cleaning. It's not hard once you get used to it :)

[Ice Burn]

We can since we didn't have househelp when we were still based in the US but it's more convenient to have househelp.

My son's yaya is a gem and she helps make life a lot easier. Besides if we were still in the US, unless I become a full-time stay at home mommy, I'd still be leaving my son at daycare so in a way it's still like getting a yaya.

[tina11]

^Oh, no it's not. Yayas, especially stay-in ones, are far more flexible. The daycare will only take care of your child during the day, say 9 am to 4 pm. You'll have to get up and get dressed for work while preparing your baby for his day at daycare, as well. The daycare won't take him on weekends or when he's sick; the daycare won't accompany you to the mall or to family outings so that you can shop or catch up with relatives in peace; the daycare won't wash his clothes or do your chores if you want to spend time with the baby. :)

I moved out in 2003 so my husband and I are used to cooking and cleaning but introducing a baby into the daily routine makes things far more comples.

[Ice Burn]

I know that which is why I said in a way because you're still basically leaving your kid in the care of someone else. But other than that one still needs to be hands on.

[tina11]

^^oops typo... I meant complex, not comples :D

This thread is about househelp though and I was just pointing out that daycare is far from an extension of househelp. It's closer to preschool or a daycamp than a yaya.

[DELISYUS]

when push comes to shove, am sure we can survive without help...

[chikiting]

yup i did survive, thinking na 2 pa lang inaalagaan ko dati 2 yr old and and a 6 months old baby i do all the household chores lahat lahat. but now na 3 na babies ko hindi ko lang sure and mejo malaki laki ang need kong linisin unlike dati we only lived sa apartment, need someone who'll clean the garden and the backyard, and to look for my 2 kids while I take care of my 5 month old baby or if I'm doing something :naughty:

[toxic_nips]

if finances would permit and with hubby's salary can support the family, i'm willing to let go of our nannies and be a full time mommy to my kids. it's just a matter of time management really, do the chores while the kids are sleeping or get them involved this early in doing chores. :)

i've accepted the fact that one day our nannies would pack up and leave for good, one would go back to her family in the province, the other most likely would pursue her studies. which hubby and i fully support.

besides, once the boys are of the right age to take care of themselves, i think it's not practical anymore for them to have a nanny each, imagine the cost! i wouldn't want them growing up being dependent on someone to do things for them. i guess we'll just need someone to wash the clothes and iron them weekly. =)

[~gIrLnXtDoOr~]

my husband and i both grew up with househelp since childhood. now we're married, we don't have any.. i'm a fulltime sahm and housewife, my hubby brings home the bacon, and sometimes cooks it too..

what i mean is he helps around the house. we have a very active 2yr old, and another 1 coming(!) and we're able to survive so far... :)

what's good about not having yayas is the parents get to spend time taking care of the babies/kids

[winkloveschaos]

i like the idea of not having one sa bahay but with the current situation we're in, mukhang malabo talaga. we have a little one na 10 month old so hindi talaga pwede iwan. i go to work and hubby has to leave home once in a while to get some things done. minsan nga di na sya nakakaalis ng bahay kaya nagtatampo na yung ibang clients nya. we're staying with my parents but, my dad has work and my mom tends to her store. so wala talagang pag-iiwanan.

if i have a choice, gusto ko ring maging SAHM but it's quite impossible.

[annalei]

ako rin grew up with a yaya, with household help until makagraduate at bago ako magasawa... pero when we got married nawala na yun, yung umpisa both kami working until magbaby na, then wala na ko work.

we're married 10 years now with a 9 year old and a 7 year old, wala pa rin kami yaya o household help, ako lang nagaalaga sa kids at sa bahay. now my 9 year old can cook rice at help na rin

[pecanpie]

Yes i can . . . .

[Sweety_Paige]

With two little kids, I still can but I choose to have one...