Ice Burn
Aug 7, 2003, 05:35 AM
Birth order myths
Is the oldest child destined for success?
by Jan Faull
Undoubtedly birth order affects us all. But as fascinating as it may be, birth order simply isn't the predictor for determining happiness, success and gratifying relationships. Nonetheless, some glaring personality traits seem to be related to the order of a person's arrival in a family.
If you're the oldest, you're probably:
* Most likely to succeed
* Most conscientious and reliable
* Conservative
* Self-critical
* A perfectionist
* Able to enjoy the company of older people
* The link between your parents and siblings
In addition, oldest children are:
* Seldom allowed to be just kids--their parents continually push them ahead and expect the most from them
* Often dethroned by younger siblings
* Convinced their siblings will outshine them
If you're the middle child, you're probably:
* A compromiser and negotiator
* The silent rebel against the family's values
* The one with the most friends, an effective team player
* Reticent, but dream of being catapulted to greatness
* Part of the woodwork, unless finally given a position of outright command
Middle children are also:
* Well aware they are frequently bypassed and upstaged by older or younger sibs
* Often eager to carve out a unique spot in the family, whether positive or negative
* Likely to be compelled to move away from the family to establish a secure spot among their peers.
If you're the youngest child, you're probably:
* Compelled to make a contribution to the world
* A show-off who enjoys the limelight
* Both a charmer and a rebel--endearing one minute, hard to deal with the next.
* Often the family clown.
* Creative.
Youngest children are also:
* Often stuck doubting the validity of their perceptions because they were often laughed at or not taken seriously.
* Likely to be compelled to do what the older children haven't.
The Parents' Job
How does a parent deal with these notions? Do you let the designated orders rule your family, or do you try to fight the forces of birth order? Should you be careful not to shower so much responsibility on the oldest child? Should you go overboard to give the middle child prestige and help him or her carve out a niche in the family? Should you do your best not to spoil the baby rotten?
Sure you should try. But keep in mind that children will still respond to life from their own unique positions. Do all you can to minimize sibling rivalry, and always try to act in the best interests of each child. And then trust that each will develop into an individual in whom the effects of birth order will only be positive.
Source: http://www.family.msn.com/tool/article.aspx?dept=raising&sdept=rks&name=ff_080503_birthorder&ptnr=ff
Is the oldest child destined for success?
by Jan Faull
Undoubtedly birth order affects us all. But as fascinating as it may be, birth order simply isn't the predictor for determining happiness, success and gratifying relationships. Nonetheless, some glaring personality traits seem to be related to the order of a person's arrival in a family.
If you're the oldest, you're probably:
* Most likely to succeed
* Most conscientious and reliable
* Conservative
* Self-critical
* A perfectionist
* Able to enjoy the company of older people
* The link between your parents and siblings
In addition, oldest children are:
* Seldom allowed to be just kids--their parents continually push them ahead and expect the most from them
* Often dethroned by younger siblings
* Convinced their siblings will outshine them
If you're the middle child, you're probably:
* A compromiser and negotiator
* The silent rebel against the family's values
* The one with the most friends, an effective team player
* Reticent, but dream of being catapulted to greatness
* Part of the woodwork, unless finally given a position of outright command
Middle children are also:
* Well aware they are frequently bypassed and upstaged by older or younger sibs
* Often eager to carve out a unique spot in the family, whether positive or negative
* Likely to be compelled to move away from the family to establish a secure spot among their peers.
If you're the youngest child, you're probably:
* Compelled to make a contribution to the world
* A show-off who enjoys the limelight
* Both a charmer and a rebel--endearing one minute, hard to deal with the next.
* Often the family clown.
* Creative.
Youngest children are also:
* Often stuck doubting the validity of their perceptions because they were often laughed at or not taken seriously.
* Likely to be compelled to do what the older children haven't.
The Parents' Job
How does a parent deal with these notions? Do you let the designated orders rule your family, or do you try to fight the forces of birth order? Should you be careful not to shower so much responsibility on the oldest child? Should you go overboard to give the middle child prestige and help him or her carve out a niche in the family? Should you do your best not to spoil the baby rotten?
Sure you should try. But keep in mind that children will still respond to life from their own unique positions. Do all you can to minimize sibling rivalry, and always try to act in the best interests of each child. And then trust that each will develop into an individual in whom the effects of birth order will only be positive.
Source: http://www.family.msn.com/tool/article.aspx?dept=raising&sdept=rks&name=ff_080503_birthorder&ptnr=ff