U.S. immigrant visa: what's the fastest way?

[j2rev]

whats the fastest way to be a US green card holder?

[princess_dice]

marry a us citizen

[OliverWood21]

Is that still effective? Di ba you have to wait for 2 years (?) pa bago mo maprocess yan?

[Zeratul]

Choose from the options below. I AM NOT SILLY NOR SARCASTIC. These have been done by PEOPLE I KNOW who were SUCCESSFUL. If you have the guts to try these, please post your updates on whether you succeeded in your endeavors.

A.) Enlist in the US Military. Imitate the courage under fire of the heroes in Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down. Volunteer for FRONT LINE assignments in Iraq and Afghanistan when given the chance so you can win a Purple Heart for America. Act with courage ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY. This way, you waive your 3 year residency period in the US and get the citizenship ASAP. Congrats, you're not only a US Citizen, but a US HERO too! That is, if you didn't lose a limb or two, or if you aren't six feet under in Arlington Memorial!

B.) If you can't marry a US Citizen, be a mail order bride/groom by pimping yourself to the Americans. The Internet has made things much easier for all of us nowadays. Use Yahoo! Personals or any web dating service to increase your presence to thousands of lonely Americans who want to get a mate who will sponsor you. If you're really desperate and all else fails, switch to SAME-SEX gay/lesbian dating matches online. There are A LOT OF LONELY TWINKS OUT THERE! Don't laugh, if Reichen and Chip made it through those tumultous years, so can you!

C.) When 6 months pregnant, sneak into the US and hide in a Filipino Community (Daly City or Cerritos). Befriend a Pinoy OB-GYNE who will take care of your hospital papers. When in labor, cry like hell in front of the foreign doctors and pretend that you are some TRAILER-TRASH ***** who got IMPREGNATED by some fictional horny jerk (hee-hee) who ran away and wasn't man enough to be a daddy. I know someone who did this trick, and BELIEVE ME, the Americans will fall for it! Now you've got an AMERICAN BABY! Yes, you can now work there legally!

D.) If all else fails to get a US visa, or if you don't like choices A, B, or C, take up NURSING or CAREGIVING. Wipe American A$$E$ for a living! That, my friend, is the FASTEST and the SUREST way of getting a GODDAMN BLUE PASSPORT legally nowadays.

Thank you. :D :D

[TT_Boy]

This topic has been rehashed numerous times. A simple search of the threads reveal the ff:

http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=140260

http://www.pinoyexchange.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=58567

[heymikey]

Originally posted by Zeratul
A.) Enlist in the US Military. Imitate the courage under fire of the heroes in Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down. Volunteer for FRONT LINE assignments in Iraq and Afghanistan when given the chance so you can win a Purple Heart for America. Act with courage ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY. This way, you waive your 3 year residency period in the US and get the citizenship ASAP. Congrats, you're not only a US Citizen, but a US HERO too! That is, if you didn't lose a limb or two, or if you aren't six feet under in Arlington Memorial!

B.) If you can't marry a US Citizen, be a mail order bride/groom by pimping yourself to the Americans. The Internet has made things much easier for all of us nowadays. Use Yahoo! Personals or any web dating service to increase your presence to thousands of lonely Americans who want to get a mate who will sponsor you. If you're really desperate and all else fails, switch to SAME-SEX gay/lesbian dating matches online. There are A LOT OF LONELY TWINKS OUT THERE! Don't laugh, if Reichen and Chip made it through those tumultous years, so can you!

C.) When 6 months pregnant, sneak into the US and hide in a Filipino Community (Daly City or Cerritos). Befriend a Pinoy OB-GYNE who will take care of your hospital papers. When in labor, cry like hell in front of the foreign doctors and pretend that you are some TRAILER-TRASH ***** who got IMPREGNATED by some fictional horny jerk (hee-hee) who ran away and wasn't man enough to be a daddy. I know someone who did this trick, and BELIEVE ME, the Americans will fall for it! Now you've got an AMERICAN BABY! Yes, you can now work there legally!

D.) If all else fails to get a US visa, or if you don't like choices A, B, or C, take up NURSING or CAREGIVING. Wipe American A$$E$ for a living! That, my friend, is the FASTEST and the SUREST way of getting a GODDAMN BLUE PASSPORT legally nowadays.

Only someone who is pathetic and desperate would do these things. I guess self-respect is now considered a trade-off when immigrating to the US, eh?

[princess_dice]

zeratful: true..

[OliverWood21]

Originally posted by Zeratul
Choose from the options below. I AM NOT SILLY NOR SARCASTIC. These have been done by PEOPLE I KNOW who were SUCCESSFUL. If you have the guts to try these, please post your updates on whether you succeeded in your endeavors.

A.) Enlist in the US Military. Imitate the courage under fire of the heroes in Saving Private Ryan and Black Hawk Down. Volunteer for FRONT LINE assignments in Iraq and Afghanistan when given the chance so you can win a Purple Heart for America. Act with courage ABOVE AND BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY. This way, you waive your 3 year residency period in the US and get the citizenship ASAP. Congrats, you're not only a US Citizen, but a US HERO too! That is, if you didn't lose a limb or two, or if you aren't six feet under in Arlington Memorial!

B.) If you can't marry a US Citizen, be a mail order bride/groom by pimping yourself to the Americans. The Internet has made things much easier for all of us nowadays. Use Yahoo! Personals or any web dating service to increase your presence to thousands of lonely Americans who want to get a mate who will sponsor you. If you're really desperate and all else fails, switch to SAME-SEX gay/lesbian dating matches online. There are A LOT OF LONELY TWINKS OUT THERE! Don't laugh, if Reichen and Chip made it through those tumultous years, so can you!

C.) When 6 months pregnant, sneak into the US and hide in a Filipino Community (Daly City or Cerritos). Befriend a Pinoy OB-GYNE who will take care of your hospital papers. When in labor, cry like hell in front of the foreign doctors and pretend that you are some TRAILER-TRASH ***** who got IMPREGNATED by some fictional horny jerk (hee-hee) who ran away and wasn't man enough to be a daddy. I know someone who did this trick, and BELIEVE ME, the Americans will fall for it! Now you've got an AMERICAN BABY! Yes, you can now work there legally!

D.) If all else fails to get a US visa, or if you don't like choices A, B, or C, take up NURSING or CAREGIVING. Wipe American A$$E$ for a living! That, my friend, is the FASTEST and the SUREST way of getting a GODDAMN BLUE PASSPORT legally nowadays.

Thank you. :D :D

:handsdown:

[NunoSaPunso]

mag-enrol ka na sa At. Augustine School of Nursing along España. This is owned by AMA. May placement agency din ata dun. :) Nursing School and Immigration Service firm in one.

[candysprinkles]

take up nursing.

[angel02]

how long will it take before you become a us citizen/immigrant if ma-hire ka as nurse sa US?

[Zeratul]

Well, most people nowadays are really desperate to enter the US and get a job. The RP job market is down (aside from call centers), the poliTICKS (poly = many, ticks = BLOODSUCKERS) :D is incorrigible, plus our foreign debt & fiscal deficits are stuff to be reckoned with!

If you really are D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E, you will try choice A, B, or C. Most people nowadays are opting for D.

[annielise]

As I mentioned in a previous thread:

It may not be the fastest but it sure is the most guaranteed way to go to the US: take up nursing and take the NCLEX exam, apply for a nursing job. Usually takes 12-14 mos. for the whole process, but you get a green card with your whole family and not just a tourist/H1 visa.

So to answer your question, usually takes a year or more to get a green card if you apply for a nursing job, but you enter the US as a green card holder together with your family.

[heymikey]

Originally posted by angel02
how long will it take before you become a us citizen/immigrant if ma-hire ka as nurse sa US?
A citizen and an immigrant are 2 different things. If you enter the US with a working visa, it will probably take you about a year or two to get your green card (immigration permit). If you become an immigrant, it will take you 5 more years to become a US citizen.

[rabbaddal]

In sum, there are 2 ways to obtain a US immigrant visa: (1) through an institutional (ex. corporate, etc.) sponsor or (2) by petition from a relative (spouse, parent, sibling, etc.). US immigration status cannot be self initiated.

In countries such as Canada, Australia, NZ, the UK and Spain, on the other hand, immigration status can be self initiated.