do PLATONIC FRIENDSHIPS exist?

[FBF]

hey der ppl! i know dat the question is somewhat "cliche" already...pero i just wanna know what you guys think about a guy and a girl being just "bestfriends" through the years. thanks in advance for posting!! hapi new year!! =)

[bunny]

Been there Done That.

NO....i dont think platonic friendships exist...well in my case they dont...I had a guy for a bestfriend for 3 years...things went well at first...but there came a point where our love lives sucked...so we ended up..well..acting more than bestfriends...and it almost ruined everything...but things are better now...we're not bestfriends anymore but we're still good friends... :)

[Ada]

Based on experience, nope, platonic friendships don't exist. You can never get really close to someone without one of you (or even both of you) falling for the other. You can try and pretend that it's still platonic by not saying anything to the other person but then you'd know that on your part it's not platonic anymore. The good news, though, is that you can always get over what you feel and go back to being just friends. It's how you deal with your feelings which will make or break your friendship.

[FBF]

hey bunny! at least u and ur guy "ex-bestfriend" are still in good terms! i wish i cud say that...=S

[Ira]

I think it's possible. I have very close friendships with males, and while I occassionally show affection to them by hugging them or kissing them on the cheek, and they do so likewise, there is no sexual/physical attraction involved on both sides. Our S.O.s don't mind our closeness, either.

[cianoy]

My closest friends are all female. I'd like to believe they're all platonic. Otherwise, that would mean they're all lusting after me. Hmm...that's not such a bad proposition, is it?

Hala, napaisip na ko....:-)

[This message has been edited by cianoy (edited 01-15-2000).]

[BadGiRL]

yes, i believe platonic friendships exist.... like cianoy i have a lot of close friends from the opposite sex... and duh..... i'll die laughing if anyone suggests they are all after me...

[bunny]

I also have a lot of male friends...in fact i have more male friends in my group than female ones...and yes we do hug and kiss (sa cheek) everytime we see each other...and it doesnt matter...but i believe that what we are talking about here are "bestfriends" of the opposite sex...not just close male friends....

[Wangie]

As my philo. teacher-friend always tells me, nothing in the world could be classified as a non-platonic love. Aristotle (I think) said that we all love someone because we NEED something from them PHYSICALLY, not in the way we classify SEX and all that....its more of, you develop close friendships with someone because they fulfill something in you that no one else can...be it a friend who can ease your heartaches at 3 in the morning, or a friend who makes you feel needed....

that's why it's not possible daw to love someone (or even to have a friendship) that's totally PLATONIC.

ako naman, i think if we refer to platonic friendships in the way we mean, between guy and girl, possible naman din. but more often than not, yup....someone develops something for the other.

[FBF]

yup! we are talking about "bestfriends of the opposite sex"..not just close friends.actually, i have close male friends of my own but i have a guy bestfriend to whom i am very "close" with.it's just that sometimes u begin to think if ur really "just friends". =)

[jo]

FBF:

do platonic friendships exist??

i think it does as long as it's not stained with romantic desires. friendship is just friendship. if the relationship goes over a friendly inter-personal relationship, then that would be entirely different. just "being friends" doesn't require necessary demands.

yet, there is love in platonic friendships. but it is the unconditional one. you love your friend without expectations...

hope it helps,

--jo

[cianoy]

Badgirl,

The funny thing is that someone has suggested that all these people like me. I found it totally crazy of course, but I'm saying that it's not totally beyond people to suggest that.

[Cathy]

well...based on experience, i'd have to say that platonic friendships don't exist. one way or another, one is bound to be attracted to the other and nothing is ever the same again. it's true that they may not act upon it but things have already changed and it would be a lie if we insist that it's still platonic right?

however, if both parties would set the boundaries of the relationship then one might achieve this kind of friendship. it would not be easy but it's not really impossible. :)

[FBF]

thanks jo!! =)

cathy, i think i get what you mean...

[ronan]

i don't think so... meron at meron kahit na katiting na bahid. there is no such thing in this world.

[bounce]

WANGIE...speaking from experience ba?

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[maxwell]

Platonic friendships do exist. My 2 bestfriends are women and there have been no romantic stains in our friendship, their S.O's (kasi wala akong S.O.)don't mind our closeness.

[Telcontar]

Platonic relationships do exist in some cases but it requires unique persons do have one.

Take my case for example : I have a girl for a best friend and we were friends even before she had a boyfriend.

[cianoy]

Pwede bang platonic kung hinahalikan mo? hehehehe...pero walang malisya

[joan]

cianoy: depende siguro kung san mo hinahalikan...hehehe...pero malay mo sa 'yo walang malisya pero may ibang meaning sa kanya...

to answer the question...oo naman possible yan 'no :) (sorry 'lang kwenta sagot ko)

[CirclEnd]

yup it exists...this is from experience, i have a female bestfriend since our High School days, and up until now were very close, mag kumpare, kumare pa nga kami...yup, we're married na with different ppl, and we still are best friends!!!

[jo]

cianoy,

i think kahit hinalikan mo na siya, (walang malisya, ha?) at saka bale wala sa kanya, platonic pa rin yun. because there can only be a stained desire if both parties think and feel of the same thing. the bottom line--- the friendship will only crash and cross that level when the desire is absolutely and intimately consummated.

hey, i just learned this from a friend. maybe i will ask him to post here. he's the likes of Dr. Ruth, the relationship therapist. LOL!! no, i'm just kidding guys.

joan,

your point counts a lot more than mine. besides i'm just new here, still a non-acknowledgeable poster. ;)

:)

[IceAngel]

I'm going to use the commonly known or believed interpretation of platonic relationships. If you're talking about those who never kiss or engage in sexual relationships with each other, then it exists, but not in all friendships between people of the opposite sex. Why are we only talking about people of the opposite sex, btw? How about friendships with people of the same sex? But that's a different discussion....

That kind of platonic relationship can exist but through people who find no need or desire to kiss or to have sexual acts with each other, or to manifest their love throught other types of physical acts. But platonic friends still manifest physical acts of love, why do we only put love in the context of romance and not in a friendship, right?

Maybe some platonic relationships that cross to "romance" or are crossing to "romance" have so much trouble because when they do know that they should not feel guilt or shame in manifesting their love through physical acts, they stop themselves because of some held belief on what friends should only do. Thus, they act against their natural good intentions.

[FBF]

cianoy,
i think walang malisya pag "beso-beso" thing lang pero kung "smack" sa lips...di ba mejo nakaka-ilang yon?

[Reflection]

I am very new here but if I may add my humble opinion to this topic, it is this:

Platonic love means not sexual, but purely spiritual or intellectual, as defined in Webster's Dictionary.

Therefore, by the strict definition of the term "platonic," it is not only possible, but it is realistic to have this type of relationship between best friends of opposite genders. If the right chemistry is not there, the people involved can remain happy with the companionship and support they derive from such friendship.

Of course, the relationship will technically stop being platonic if it goes beyond these bounds. Can this happen? Absolutely, if the right ingredients are in place. But if it does, it may not be all that bad because any future romantic/sexual relationship will be between two people who already know each other very well and have the capability to make a stronger commitment to each other.

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~Reflect on this!~


[This message has been edited by Reflection (edited 01-05-2000).]

[clone]

YES!! PLATOnic relationships most definitely exists. I am a good example of this. I have been having many relationships with a lot of PLATO as long as meron kanin at ulam. Mmmmm...anong tsalap! :P~

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~Savor this!~

[jo]

hmmm, just an additional..

friendship with different gender can be very trying to make it just a straight friendship. it needs control and should be set on clear unattached level.

what can you say clone? you're the
one i was referring to as the like of "Dr Ruth".

[master_yoda]

nope, platonic relationships with your best friend do not exist. if u get along with the guy/girl so well and you're best friends (meaning siya ang pinakamalapit na tao sa iyo), that pretty much means u know the person very weel and like the person just as he/she is. that's the best kind of na-develop, di ba?... even if minsan nakakasira talaga sa friendship kapag kayo na

[Fortes in Fide]

I'm not sure if we just have a different idea of what's being discussed here.

For me, platonic friendship is when you are truly in love with somebody and the element that makes you both want to stay together trancends beyond just the physical attractions. It will encompass the spiritual and the ideal notion that you both have individually in your relationships. One compliments the other. You'll become one with each other and willing to be one or the other.
Difficulties and pleasures are shared, physical and emotional imperfections assimilated instead of repudiated. There's acceptance for what you are, hope for what you can be and consolation for what you already have.
You will start knowing what the other feels and think through a higher sense of perception that only people in love knows.
Faith with one another will make you both stronger and confident to live your life more satisfying together.

Long lasting? Maybe, maybe not.
Possible? Definitely

Since I'm a man I'm talking about feelings towards a female, of course.

[aris]

Fortes in Fides : individuality in the relationship *****?

Eniways kung platonic relationships is defined as most define it...best friends with the opposite sexes..i think its possible...ako best friend ko since high school babae...and more than ten years na...courted her though nun una...but came to a point na yuo wouldnt want to lose her na...kaya gusto mo very good friends na lang....basta pwede... :)

[clone]

Jo,

Who? Me?.. Dr. Ruth?? Naaah! To describe me to a "T" call me Dr. Truth. I know nothing of what she says..you know naman, I'm still very innocent when it comes to those things. *blush* (covering face while peeking between fingers)

But did you know I was referring to you when I said I can have a genuine platonic relationship? Remember the salad plates? ;) ..yep, that one. Hindi ba, it worked out perfectly.

So pipols, here is a perfect example of "platonic" relationship that really works.

[This message has been edited by clone (edited 01-08-2000).]

[master_yoda]

aris: i think i know u. r u from baguio?

[Mikki]

Hindi yata pwede sa akin ang platonic dahil emosyonal kse ako. Madaling mahulog ang kalooban ko. Ewan ko nga ba kung bakit.

[wolverine]

yes.

i have friends from the opposite sex and we get along just fine. i learn alot of things from them... we discuss things we need to know from each others' side of the fence. and we defend each genders' actions and reactions. masarap silang kasama kasi alam ko na hindi nila iniisip na baka nambobola lang ako or pumoporma... alam na nga nila siguro yung mga "style-mo-bulok" moves ko e. mag-attempt man ako, siguradong siopao na ko kagad. i have this special friendship bond with them and i don't want to ruin it by bringing romance in the equation. i'd want them to be my friends until the day i die.

[wolverine]

yes.

i have friends from the opposite sex and we get along just fine. i learn alot of things from them... we discuss things we need to know from each others' side of the fence. and we defend each genders' actions and reactions. sila rin yung critics ko sa mga dates ko. magaling silang kumilatis... they have this talent of seeing things, specifically the negative ones, about my dates. pinapagtripan namin yung mga pumalpak na dates ng isa't-isa. mga bloopers!

masarap silang kasama kasi alam ko na hindi nila iniisip na baka nambobola lang ako or pumoporma... alam na nga nila siguro yung mga "style-mo-bulok" moves ko e. mag-attempt man ako, siguradong siopao na ko kagad. i have this special friendship bond with them and i don't want to ruin it by bringing romance in the equation. i'd want them to be my friends until the day i die.

[bounce]

I'll be serious for a while and say this, my best friend is of the opposite sex and for the past few years, i've tried courting her on and off, trying to convince myself unsuccessfully that i musn't fall for her...I can honestly say that i do love her, more than anything in the world and it's simply because she is someone very special to me and we know each other like no one else does...we get along so well and being with her is just one of the nicest things on the world...something i look forward to day in and day out. I love my best friend and platonic friendships are just so hard to maintain. I'm speaking from experience here...my own and as well as those of some of my friends...one will definitely fall for the other

[lestat]

Ako master_yoda, taga-Baguio ako, ikaw din?

Sori po sa mga powers-that-be kung owt op tapik ito (naku! nakakatakot namang mag-"aside" dito). :(

[cheena]

i don't think platonic relationship exists. Siguro from the beginning, iisipin natin pwede pero in the long run, I'm pretty sure that in one way or another, isa don magkakagusto don sa isa.

[jamicah]

i'm new here but i just wanted to add my two cents' worth...

more often than not, it's true that in a close friendship b/w opposite sexed people, one falls for the other. however, you CAN get past it. and when you do, you find that the friendship you have is deeper, better than what you had before and you're actually best friends. it takes time and a lot of work, and it takes special people to do it. but then you'll discover what it really means to have a truly platonic friendship.

hmmm... medyo malabo ako but that was what i wanted to say. and bounce, before you say anything, uunahan na kita... yes, i'm speaking from experience.

[Blister]

Oh yes they do...
Especially with the guys right now.
Guys are naturally not good listeners so they prefer to have girls as friends.
So girls, beware, don't fall for that sweet guy, so called friend of yours, you'll see yourself at the end with the broken heart.

[cianoy]

Point of clarification: When I meant kissing, I was referring to a lip-to-something kiss...walang beso...walang pa-cute kiss. Syempre yung totoo.

What if we kiss and we treat it as something casual? Di'ba platonic pa rin yun? (please say yes! please say yes! hehehehe)

[clawed_out]

yup, i think it does exist....

no further explanation cause they've said it already

[jo]

Cianoy

ahh, this response is a little bit late, but bear with me.

you said it was a lip-to-something-kiss? and you both treated it as casual? define what is casual to you. casual may engage something not platonic at all.

would it still be platonic?...(in your mind) if you both will not do it again and again. ;) lol! but the tendency is you will repeat it for the desire is already there. once you cross that borderline of friendship, there's no turning back to have a platonic relationship with your friend, anymore.

sorry, your kiss is not platonic. :)hehehe..

[Ada]

cianoy: Sino ba yang ka-smooch mo? Alam ba yan ng gelpren mo!? ;)

[cianoy]

SYEMPRE HINDI!!!

...hindi totoong may nangyayaring ganyan. '*** naman Ada, nag-bibiro lang ako syempre...heheh

[Angeli]

in my opinion also, platonic friendships do not exist. it's a very messy business.in some cases maybe they do. its always the same. i mean ur friends, and then suddenly, you two don't speak to each other anymore. it's kinda sad really to see such friendships end though not all end up that way.

[j]

"...a guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other, maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe, just maybe, forever..."

I just want to share this quote to you. This sums up my answer to the topic. :(

[FBF]

bounce,

curious lang ako...what happened to the both of you now? 'lam ba nya feelings mo?

[aris]

kewl quote :) , can I borrow?

[bounce]

FbF...we're still best friends and we talk to each other everyday...things are up in the air but rest assured that the friendship is going to be stronger than ever...

[wAgKaNgMaKuLiT]

yeah, i think platonic relationships do exist. why? basta, it does.

[FBF]

bounce,
wow! cool nyo naman...nice 2 know that even though things didn't work out for you (being more than friends) at least you were able to maintain the friendship.

[Soleil]

Yep, they do. My bestfriend and I have know each other for almost a decade now (seemed more like an eternity :) ). I was never attracted to him (maybe because I know his secrets?), and he was never attracted to me (though, other people said otherwise).

[This message has been edited by Soleil (edited 01-31-2000).]

[abraqkadabra]

it will exist but it will not exist forever. sooner or later it will evolve into something not platonic.. :D linaw noh... hehehhe

[bugsbunny]

well for me personally i dont believe that a guy and girl can become friends and never develop any feelings to be more than friends...
a friend once told me that a guy and a girl becomes friends because there is an unconscious attraction between them.
i do believe that... there will come a time when a girl/guy will develop some attraction to a guy/girl friend but it may vary in the intensity. it may just be a spur-of-the-moment-one-time-affair or a long-lasting-affair or even a who-cares-affair... :)

[bLaCk]

ala Dawson's Creek ang story ng mga Platonic Friendships... pero well.. they do exist... i guess... daming ganyan eh...

a typical lovestory.... parang sakin...

hahahah... never mind...

hay.. what i don't get sa guys.. (based on my high school experiences) they befriend you at first.. and when you get real close.. they shatter that closeness by courting you... hay buhay!!! mahirap **** maging close...

pero you know... having a bestfriend from the opposite sex is so good... coz there's no competition, no insecurities, no nuthin'... too bad you sometyms end up lovin' each other the wrong way....

[This message has been edited by bLaCk (edited 02-06-2000).]

[naughty&nice]

hey FBF!
yes, i believe in platonic friendships!
but i also believe that it's possible na may mag fall for the other!

the feelings just happen. d naman talaga maiiwasan yun eh!

but for me, the friendship is still much more important than the feelings.

hope to hear from you fbf :)

[This message has been edited by naughty&nice (edited 02-13-2000).]

[This message has been edited by naughty&nice (edited 04-09-2000).]

[carlie]

i guess i do believe in platonic relationships.... one of my best friends is of the opposite sex and its so much easier to connect to him... i think it does not really matter if your friend is a girl or boy... if you connect, then that's it... if something gets into your friendship, that's another story... i just hope the friendship stays there... it may be hard, but it's possible...

[BODACIOUS]

yes, platonic love exists.........Why?......I don't know...It just happens....... :)

[FBF]

hey der naughty & nice!!

well, talagang magulo yung "platonic friendships thing"! kaya nga i started dis topic 2c *** u guys think!

abot platonic love...i think ders no such thing... there can be agape,romantic & others pero there's no platonic love...none yet anyway!

[FBF]

hey der naughty & nice!!

well, talagang magulo yung "platonic friendships thing"! kaya nga i started dis topic 2c *** u guys think!

abot platonic love...i think ders no such thing... there can be agape,romantic & others pero there's no platonic love...none yet anyway!

[ChiQui]

*bump*

[barfly]

bump