Please help me!!!

[Rosario]

I'm 17 and almost 4 months pregnant. I cannot go on with this pregnancy because I won't be able to support both me and my baby. My boyfriend won't answer for it so definitely my parents will be kicking me out of the house. My family is different from others. They value our "name" more than life. I should know coz my sister was kicked out of the house for just having a boyfriend at 15. She has been living alone for the past 4 years. So I know what will happen to me. There's no job I know of right now. And I don't think they'd take me in and besides I'm pregnant and only a freshman in college. Is there anyone out there who knows how I could get in touch with an abortionist? Or suggest any methods? Please help me! If you think you can help me, you don't have to post, just email me. Thanks.

[batang uliran]

Rosario:

We at PEx sympathizes with you regarding your problem but abortion is not the way. There are other ways to solve your problem including adoption. Aside from being illegal, it is a dangerous procedure to be attempted anywhere in the Philippines because the only ones that do it are people without any medical background or expertise. I am not exaggerating when I say by attempting this procedure, you are putting your life, not just your baby's life, on the line.

[Rosario]

batang uliran: Thanks for the reply. But maybe I'll be willing to risk it. Sometimes I wish that something bad happens to me just so all these problems I have would soon end. At least if I die while in the process of abortion, my family would know that I did everything just so I could spare them from shame. Adoption is impossible unless they're also willing to adopt me! The thing is, I cannot go through the pregnancy stage because my family won't be able to take it.

[jepoy]

Rosario: like batang uliran, i strongly advise against abortion, there are other options. But i'm not here to preach, i'm here to offer you my prayer. God Bless.

[batang uliran]

Rosario:

I don't know your parents but to have the abortion without even giving them the chance to listen to your problem and help you deal with it is not giving them any credit at all. I think they deserve the chance to know about this - your life should be more important than the family reputation - and if your parents are unwilling to look at it from this perspective then they don't deserve you.

Is your older sister able to help you? If I or others on this forum are going to be able to set you up with people who may be able to help you, are you willing to accept that help? Perhaps you have other relatives who are willing to take you in? Or some good friends? At least temporarily?

I don't want to preach but in this instance, dying at the hands of an abortionist butcher will NOT solve anything. And I've seen the work of many of them having been a student at UP-PGH - they are butchers in the truest sense of the word.

You seem like a nice girl who made a mistake. Don't throw everything away because of it.

[This message has been edited by batang uliran (edited 12-13-1999).]

[Ira]

I'd have to agree with BU. A lot of patients undergo completion curettage in PGH because they went to some illegal abortionist who botched the job, and really, you're putting your life at risk. While I'm pro-choice, I cannot advice you in good conscience to seek an abortion; not in this country. Plus, you're already 4 months. At your stage even legal abortionists will be hesitant to abort your baby.

My advice: Look for relatives or very good friends who may be more open-minded than your parents. Maybe they can bring you somewhere else (sa province maybe) for the duration of your pregnancy. Demand that your boyfriend help you. It takes two people to make a baby. Then explain to your parents. If they throw you out, at least you've got somewhere to go.
I think there are support centers for pregnant women in Malate (though I'm not sure yet where it is), and usually religious orders (nuns) help single moms who have nowhere to go. Please update us on how you're doing.

[JUNXB102]

Rosario: Please, don't do it!!! It's better to face the wrath of your parents than end the life of your baby and risk yours too... No matter how ballistic your parents will be, they're still your parents, meron pa ring konting pity na natitira sa mga yon..Have a heart to heart talk with them, I hope they'll understand...I'm prayin that this coming New Year, Sana maliwanagan ang mga parents mo at pati na rin ikaw, Abortion is not the solution, I'm begging you, Don't do it.....

[ross]

would you have clear conscience if in a few months you are still living with your parents yet you have aborted your child. if they can't understand you, then face the consequences and live with your sister or something. kawawa naman yung baby. but if it's ok with you that you stay with your parents at the cost of your child then i guess abortion is what you are looking for. but i doubt anybody here in pex could or would help you find an abortionist. i dont think anybody would like to be responsible for what happens.

[broom]

hi there rosario! i agree with the rest of the ppl here that abortion is not the answer to your problem. im so sorry to hear that your parents are the type that reputation is more important to them than life, just like what you said. but have you tried talking things over with them? do they know the state youre in now? well, if youre willing to take the risk of having an abortion (which is not right), i think you should first take the risk of telling your parents that youre pregnant. i, myself dont think and strongly disagree with the thought of you having an abortion. just like the saying goes- "hindi matutuwid ang isang pagkakamali ng isa pang pagkakamali". so what i advice you to do is to go to your close friends, sister or relatives and seek for their help and support. i know that you'll be needing lots of those right now. i'll be here to support you in the least way i can and you're always in my prayers. im pretty sure you've got lots of things going on your mind right now, so please make the right decision and that wouldnt be, in any manner, having an abortion...take lots of care! keep posted, k?!

[Reinne]

For God sake please dont do it... I mean I have couple of friends who got pregnant at a very early age too and they thought that they would be disowned & be kicked out of the house but they tried to explain to their parents. Of course their parents got mad and eventually the parents did understand. Have faith in God. You wouldn't want yourself to be a murderer, right?!? There is already a life inside you & he/she might be a good leader or influential person in the near future.
If you're willing to take the risk of abortion then why don't you try to risk telling your parents first? Please think it over! May God bless and enlighten you!

[This message has been edited by Reinne (edited 12-29-1999).]

[Ira]

Rosario: I'm not sure if you're still reading PEx, but if you are, please call one of these numbers. These are centers which help single pregnant women. Their services are confidential, so you don't have to worry about your privacy.

Cubao-722-4195
Quiapo-735-9718
Paco-563-6363
Baclaran-832-1150

[Rosario]

Thanks for all your help. But my parents are not really understanding so is my entire family. I'm still pregnant. Sorry IRA if I did not keep you guys posted on the developments. As of now, my mother knows and she is really pissed off. She wants me to get out of the house or have it aborted right away. She said I could not go pregnant or I might as well leave the house. My father is worse so don't tell me to just talk to him. Mom ko na ang pinakamabait sa pamilya namin! If I leave, even if I go to these pregnancy centers, my future will be jeopardized. I really don't know. Sometimes I wish a car would just run over me so all these would end. Anyways, thanks for the advices guys. Ipagdasal nyo na lang ako please! Thanks again!

[Reinne]

Pls don't think that your future will be jeopardized. It's not true, ok?!? C'mon don't be selfish, don't only think of yourself...think about the future of your baby.
I'll be praying for you, your family, and your baby but pls don't forget to pray for yourself too. And ask God to help and guide you, and enlighten your parents.

[This message has been edited by Reinne (edited 12-30-1999).]

[Ira]

Good luck in whatever you decide, Rosario. But do call the phone numbers; the centers are experienced in dealing with cases like yours, and they will give you options that you may not even have known existed.

[ParuParo]

Rosario...been tring to email you but I think your address isn't valid. Bumabalik ang letters ko sa iyo. Email me because I need to talk to you.

[emilie]

Rosario, how can you say that your future will be jeopardized if you go to one of the pregnancy centers? Don't make hasty judgements. Why not give it a try? Just listen to what they have to say.

God will help you. Just trust in Him and keep praying. Babies bring such joy! Give your baby a chance to show you so much love and you will never regret it.

And lastly, do not think you are alone. I also e-mailed you but am not sure if you got it. Remember, the people here believe in you and trust that you will do the right thing. Believe in yourself.

Take care and let us know if you need us.

[MsEerie]

Like Ira, I am pro-choice but I have to agree with her that abortion in the Philippines is very dangerous. Please try to e-mail me at dementia@crazedanddazed.com

[Ada]

My prayers go with you, Rosario. I know He will give you the wisdom to do the right thing. God bless.

[jepoy]

I'll pray for you too Rosario.

[uptowngirl]

I hope you do whatever you feel is right. May God enlighten you.

[Rosario]

Ate Emilie: I've been sending you emails but it always comes back. Do you have another email address? I have a new one rosario05@usa.net

To all you guys, thanks!

[This message has been edited by Rosario (edited 01-01-2000).]

[d_engineer]

Please don't - the abortion thing. bear in your mind that there are many couples out there who'll not be able to have even one.

think of yourself and your baby more than others and your parents have to say. if your boyfriend don't want to do his share, forget everything about him because you and your baby do not deserve him. having a child is the most wonderful thing a woman can have. about your parents, pray that sooner or later the'll be more open minded and eventually accept your situation.

if u are reluctant to go to one of the Help Centers suggested at least go to one of your relatives and seek for their help.

we'll all be praying for You. God Bless.