Call Center bloopers...... boo boo

[hugobossph]

sa Process naman na UK Process doing outbound call to London

Analyst: Good Morning! This is Hugo from **** Bank. May I speak to Mrs. Hutchkinson (In british accent of course).

3rd Party: Sino 'to?

Analyst: This is Hugo from **** Bank.

3rd party: Sandali Lang.

Analyst: Ok.

*****
sa dati kong process naman na US Account receiving inbound call

Baklush na Agent: Thank You for calling **** Bank. This is Chorvah may I have your name Please?

Caller: This is Mr. **** ****

Baklush na Agent: For verification may I have your **** and the last 3 digit number at the back of your credit card located at the signature panel.

Caller: I left my card in the car, give me a few seconds.

Baklush na Agent: Surenessss

Caller: What?

Baklush na Agent: Oh sure sure go ahead.

[sassy_gurlü]

Eto:
tsr: Mr. John Doe, can you please type in your complete email address in the username field?
Cus: All right!
tsr: What email address did you typed in?
Cus: johndoe@sbcgoogle.net

(malamang di makaka sign in yun diba? Sbcgoogle..amp:bop:

sbcglobal!:D i miss my team..:(

[lunarpanda]

I found this at http://youhadme-at-hello.com/category/funny/

these are actual answers the recruitment team get from call center applicants. :rotflmao:

******************

Tales from Recruitment # 1

I bring you tidings from the Joy Machine that is RECRUITMENT:

Q:What has been your major health issue so far?
A:Well….. My monthly is irregular.

*Talk about too much information

Q:What can you contribute to the company if we hire you?
A:I will contribute my entire life to the company!

*Bagong Bayani in the making

Q:What has been your major health issue so far?
A:Morning sickness.
Q:Congratulations! How many months are you on the way?
A:Ah….no… I just sneeze every morning..

*A possible Neozep commercial

Q:How long do you plan to stay with us if we hire you?
A:For life?
Q:I would need a ballpark figure.
A:Um…. One towsan times!!!!
Q:I need an approximate number of years.
A:One towsan years!!!!! Wait… thats impossible…
Q:The number of years please.
A:Ok… 3-5 years.

*I want to know what shes smoking


******************

Tales from Recruitment # 2

Q:Where is your family based?
A:House

*Like…. DUH!

Q:Sell the benefit of this compact mirror to me.
A:Add spice to your face.

*Everyone needs spice right?

Q:How did you find out about our opening?
A:Through my neva.
Q:What is a neva?
A:The house next to mine.

*Toink!

Q:What should I call you?
A:I apply for call center.
Q:No. How would you like to be addressed?
A:At home.
Q:How should I call you?
A:I have a cellphone.
Q:What is your nickname?
A: Dave.

*Nosebleed….


******************

Tales from Recruitment # 3

Q: Describe a situation wherein you were able to use your persuasion successfully to convince someone to see things your way?
A:Ummm… My brother… Bikos he is impotent.
Q:Excuse me? Your brother is impotent?!
A:Yes. He does not want to work.
Q:Ah… He does not want to stand up? To go to work?
A:Yes. He is so lazy.
Q:So what did you do to overcome his objections?
A:I quarrel him.. inside the room… man to man

*Easiest way to cure impotency

Q:How much do you know about the call center industry?
A:Hmmm… Around fifty percent I guess.
Q:Ok. Can you expound on that please.
A:Ah…. Only fifty percent…

*He knows only fifty percent of fifty percent… Not a bad ratio.

Q:What are your short term and long term goals?
A:For my short term, I have three kids, right?
Q:Ok… So whats your long term goals?
A:Well, eventually they will grow up and when they do I will tell them to apply here because its a good company.

*Introducing the Employee Making Machine

Q:What are your short term and long term goals?
A:For my short term its, “Don’t be afraid, only believe” and my long term goal is “Laughter may hide sadness. When happiness is gone, sorrow is always there”.
Q:These are your goals? Your CAREER goals?
A:YES!!!!!!
Q:These are your goals for your career?!
A:YES!!!!!! (louder this time with matching head bobbing motion)

*This one is a classic!!!!!!!

Q:How long do you see yourself working with us?
A:So long…. As long as I can imagine!

*Wooo-hoooo!!!!!!

Q:Who do you think are given a chance to work in a corporate environment?
A:Like in SM, if you are obese they will not hire you. Thats why there are no bad looking people there.
Q:So the reason we work here is we did not pass at SM?
A:Yes.

*I have to work in SM now!!!


******************

Tales from Recruitment # 4


Q: What is your major health issue?
A: I have Typhoon Fever……
Q: What is Typhoon Fever? Can you expound further?
A: Well…. When there is a typhoon and I get wet I get a fever.

*I wonder how many times she had TYPHOON FEVER this month O.o

Q: What is your major health issue?
A: When it’s cold my nape will ache.

*Hint: Read his answer quickly and do it several times hehehehehehehehehehe =p

Q: Please describe the color red to a blind man.
A: Ah… I’ll get his hand and put it in a boiling pot of water.

*Gah! I said describe it. You’re not suppose to torture the dude!!!!!

Q: What is your short term goal?
A: Beauty is peace and if one is happy you earn inner peace.
Q: That’s your short term goal?
A: Yes (nodding sagely).
Q: Uh ok…. What is your long term goal?
A: Salvation is the key to achieve tranquility.
Q: Um…. Ok…

*She sounds like that Bb Pilipinas contestant Janina San Miguel =)

[toeberries]

Customer called regarding credit card account.
But the call needs to be transferred to a different department.
My teammate placed the customer on hold, then dialled the other department.
He now has the other CSR from the other department on the other line.
He is introducing the customer to the other CSR and he said:
“Thank you for patiently waiting Mr. Smith, I know have an officer on the other line and she has been fully verified..”

wahahaha
naloka yung isang CSR
tawa ng tawa

==
Super avail so kwentuhan kaming mga teammates..
Tapos may pumasok na call.
Sabi ko: “Thank you for patiently waiting”
Hahaha
Tapos biglang mute at bawi: “Thank you for calling customer service”

==
Isa pang teammate.
On hold muna si customer.
Pag balik kay customer ang sabi nya: “Welcome to customer service”

[athran24]

Up lang po...

[athran24]

tsr: sir can you please verify your email address..

cust: yes, it is NAMEmonkeyyahoo.com..

tsr: i'm sorry sir, email address should be in this format - NAME@yahoo.com..

cust: yes, yes, it is NAMEmonkeyyahoo.com, you know monkey, the one with the tail....

tsr: oh, ok....

--> @ = monkey, the one with the tail....:rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:

waahhhhh!! This is wicked!! :rotflmao::rotflmao::rotflmao:

[inindix]

:p Hey people! If you are working in a call center or have been to one or a phone operator, just post some funny things that ever happened to you on your work. :p

Here are some that happened in my office.....

RING RING!
CSA: Thank you for calling (blah... blah... blah...) this is Betty Speking how may I help you?
Caller: Okay, Miss "Peking" I would like an authorization code....
(Gosh, Nagkasundo sila sa surname???? Duh!)

Clmt: (clmt was keyspelling his current location....)
CSA: okay sir, that's A for "Alpha"... M for "Mike".... O for.... for... "OSAMIS?" <-----saang probinsya kaya galing to???

That is good..... i haven't experience something like that in call center....




__________________
Call Center Software (http://www.inin.com)

[princ3sz]

personal experience:
<telecoms account>

cust: I want you to give back my credits!
agent: unfortunately sir, we can't do that
cust: but I have been your subscriber for years!i deserve a compensation!
agent: sir, you have used the service that's why your credits are down to zero.as much as we want to...blah blah
cust: *sigh* how about an umbrella?
agent: i'm sorry sir?
cust: you're a big company.i am a subscriber for years.don't i get a free umbrella?i want a yellow umbrella.(yellow kasi kulay ng account namin)
agent: <mute and tawa moment> ok sir we will try to send you one.

[princ3sz]

okay that's

P for ... for Pneumonia?

hahahaha

[losthope26]

tech: kindly reset the helicopter.
cust: what helicopter?
tech: sorry, i meant the modem (yan ang resulta na masyadong tulog)

[ginger14]

my teammate was speaking to an esl customer:

agent: and how do you spell your first name? is that z for zulu?
cust: no! it's g (pronounced jee)...... as in geebra.....

huh???? zebra ba sinasabi nya? wahahahaha

[bugzhoney]

WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....


are you sure that its all about how we speak??? how dare you to say that we dont use our brains! do you know how to re-seat parts of a computer (desktop/notebook), error codes, beep codes, blink codes, how wireless works? have you tried to set up a network?

it will be boring sometimes if you're familiar with the call flow and know how to troubleshoot all the issue or to assist customer in short manner of time. relax mode ka na nga ok pa sweldo mo haha inggit lang yan!!!

bitter ka lang. that's for sure :naughty:

[bugzhoney]

TSR1: can i hold you for two to three minutes?
-----
TSR2: are you able to hold for two to three business days?
-----
TSR: can i have the product number?
Customer: rv8.. R-romeo V-victor 8-mmm 8 legs
-----
eto call to from our center

TSR: thanks you for calling ** total care my name is *****, can i have your name please?
Customer: My name is James.
TSR: Yes Mam how can i help you today?
Customer: My name is James not Jane
TSR: Im sorry mam!
Customer: Im a male not a female, call me honey, call me sweetheart but dont call me mam!
TSR: Im really sorry, I will just call you by your first name mam.

[blue_sapphire21]

i remember a funny moment at my first callcenter.. my class were observing the floor. we heard an agent spelling the name of the establishment.. she said Q as in... (thinkin..) Q as in CUCUMBER???! everybody laughed!!! and our trainer went to her station and coached her.

that was funny..

[medussa00]

Recorded call:

Sleepy CSR took payment, last 15mins of her shift (antok na)

CSR: Thank you for that payment Mr. Savio.. il go ahead and reinstate your service.

CUST: Ok.. thanks.

(Si CSR nawawalan na ng malay)

CSR: uhhm. ahh.. before i let you go sir.. uhhmm... ahhhh...
(brief silence)
CSR: uhhmm.. let me give u this ah... ... jolly kiddie meal..

*****
Hulog sa chair yung TL na nagmomonit nung call eh.. ahahaha! buti na lang recorded. Stuff of legend na ngayon sa site. :))


hahahaha!! ito lang nakapagpatawa sa akin!!!! sana may mp3 format, wehehehe! :rotflmao::rotflmao::mecry::rotflmao::rotflmao:*okay*

[schwyz]

alala ko lang..when i was still working as DDA
agent: city and state pls?
cust: can you give me the number for triple A?
agent: triple A sir? what do you mean by that? is it American Armadillo Association? (imbes na American Automobile Association )
cust: sound's like it..
****************************
agent: city and state pls?
cust: little rock , AR
agent: AR? sir as in Aregon? (susme Oregon )
***************************
agent: city and state pls?
cust: philadelphia, PA
agent: PA? is that in Pakistan right? (ogag talaga: penn state )
***************************
ito malapit lapit na sagot........
agent: city and state pls...
cust: *$# (kalimutan ko na city ) , NV
agent: wow..North Virginia..(toinks...Nevada )

agent: what state again sir?
cust: NM dear,,
agent: "next mexico"..i see...(New Mexico nga! )

[iary20]

here's mine:

>>i hate answering phone calls mainly because i dont know
what to say so I let the others do it.
>>i heard a colleague once...

ring! ring! ring!
Bald: Good morning, thank u for calling Company, this is
Bald, how may I help u?

>>it was my first week in the office and one sunday morning:

ring! ring! ring!

>>i was deciding either to answer the phone or not and i've
decided that since I was alone, I had to do it.
>>i practiced once so that I wont fumble...
>>i said to myself (Good morning, welcome to Company,
this is Bontistic, may I help u?)
>>then when I picked the phone up, i said...

Bontistic: Good morning, this is Company,
welcome to Bontistic, how may I help u?

hehehe :blush:

--->panalo ito!

[prraangko]

I am working as a directory assistance operator. While I was setting up the station, narinig ko yung agent sa kabilang station, naka Y-cord siya sa isang lead

CSR: you are looking for Yellow Cab ma'am?

after ilang seconds, narinig ko siya na nag reply sa caller

CSR: is that the pizza place ma'am?

tawa ng tawa yung lead na katabi nya

[scythe1029]

share ko lang

Agent: may i have the credit card number whenever you're ready
Cust: Do you accept American Express?
Agent: What is that sir, an airport or a bus company??

[scythe1029]

kanina lang to nangyari saken

Cust: Do you guys accept Am Ex?
Me: Yes, We also accept Visa, Mastercard and Discovery credit cards (ginawang Discovery Channel ang Discover Card hehehe)

[LabuyoXVIII]

Share ko: I heard it from a former teammate way back when

Cust: Where are you located?
Agent: Where located on the Philippines, sir!
Me: (Ano? Nakapatong lang tayo sa Pilipinas?)

:rotflmao:

[chesca28drew]

ayun oh mukha na kong ***** kakatawa

share lang.. mga laughtrip nung nasa transition pa ko

1:
cx(irate start of call): I want to close my account
csr: ok sir.. i'll be more than happy to close your account!

2:
cx: i'll just get a pen and a paper
csr: ok sir
*ilang seconds na wala pa ** si customer si seatmate na nasa call di alam gagawin so nagpaturo sakanya*
csr: mali mali hindi ganyan... yung isa
cx: huh?
csr: oh im sorry sir... blah blah
usap usap uli then sabi ni customer ** lang daw so si csr
hintay uli eh si seatmate mali mali pa din ginagawa
csr: ate TM (mentor) si Tin need ng help mo
cx: huh?

yun lang... hahaha

customer irrate kasi di sila magkaintindihan ng erep
cx: where are you from?
csr: from the philippines sir
cx: well, better go back to India and plant potato???

[chesca28drew]

local callcenter naman

1:naririnig ko yung customer nsa comp shop ako

cx: hello nawalan kami ng connection ganto rin to kagabi eh
sabi wala naman daw problema
*tinanong ata ni csr name nya*
ako.. ako.. ako may ari nito
*nagtanong pa yata uli ng security questions*
cx: ano ba?? ang dami dami nyong tanong!
mga wala naman silbi hindi nyo naman magawa

Nyeh.. pano kaya maayos un???

2:ate ko talking with a rep. ng globe

ate ko: hello hindi nakakareceive ng text yung
roaming number ng mama ko...ang number ay blah blah

ako(sa background sumingit singit): tulungan mo ko..
*in a sad tone almost crying*

ate ko: ah ganon ba.. kasi may load naman siya!
niloadan namin yung roaming number nya!

*singit uli ako*
ako:tulungan nio ko.. papatayin nya ko
*paulit uit habang naguusap sila biglang*

ate ko: OH bat ka nagagalit?
ate ko: eh di k naman ginugulo ha.. nagagalit ka!

after ng call kwento ng ate ko

csr: ano ba? seryoso ba kayo dito? di naman
ako nakikipaglaro?gusto nyo ba maayos yung roaming ng mama mo?

csr: sorry po.. hindi naman po ako galit

nyahahah!!!:naughty: ang bad ko noh??

[Princess_Sniper]

CreditCard Acct:

==================

Guest: I'd like to ask if you can lower my interest rate...yada yada yada (irate konti) blah blah

CCE: Well, I'm sorry, however, right now we are not making adjustments on all rates...blah blah etching kemeler...

Guest: What? You mean that even if I am a special person you would not lower down my interest rate?!!??

CCE: (somersault)

==================

CreditCard Acct (WebTech)

Guest: I completely forgot my password...........

CCE-L2: yadda yadda...i'll be giving you a password...capital R like Robert,

Guest: Ahuh...

CCE-L2: capital C like Charlie...

Guest: Ahuh...

CCE-L2: capital P like Peter...

Guest: Ahuh...

CCE-L2: capital E like Edward...

Guest: Ahuh...

CCE-L2: zero...

Guest: capital zero??!!

CCE-L2: (ppfffttt...:rotflmao:)

============================

Guest: Can I make a cash advance without a pin number?

CCE-L2: Definitely, you can! You just go to a bank, present your card to a TELLER, and make sure you have 2 photo-IDs.

Guest: (sounds puzzled..) How are they gonna do that?

**bangko na nga ang pupuntahan mo sister eh.....**

============================

[metropolitan]

will this qualify?

http://failblog.wordpress.com/files/2008/12/fail-owned-success-spelling-fail.jpg

[iluvsunset]

share ko lang.. ^^ i have a team mate who was verifying the correct spelling of the cx's name. cx's name is Von Kemberlu (sorry, i forgot the last name, ahihi! *peace* ) she's checking the right spelling of the cx's first name.. so, here it goes...

MY TEAM MATE: so, sir, just to make sure i have the correct spelling of your first name, it starts with V as in Victor, O as in Oscar and N as in Nancy.. is that correct?

CX: NO! It's not Victor! It's V, as in Von! (full of confidence pa si kuya!) :lol:

MY TEAM MATE: yes, sir! i do know that your first name is Von. what im asking is the spelling of your first name.. so, does it start with V as in Victor, or with B as in Bravo? (medyo banas na si ati!) :naughty:

CX: Uuhm.. it's V, for Von!


*** wakekek! :bop::bop::bop:

[dOnNa021]

Share ko lang din. Yung teammate ko, code name "penguin".

1. Member's account is suspended for non-payment.

Penguin: Mr Customer, for your account to be reinstated, you need to pay all your feeses. (plural ng fees, :lol: )

2.

Penguin: The line is choppy sir, am I correct? ( haha..kelangan kze mag verify )

3.

cx: do you want the old one or the one that I'm using right now?
Penguin: Sir, I want it right now! (tinakot si cx, hahaha! ) :glee:

[Papa Bear]

"is that C for Tango?"

lolz

"Is it okay if I put you on hold for two months?"

lolz part 2

Pag queuing: sisigaw ang TL ng "BREAKS ON HOLD!"

Minsan ang nasabi, "HOLDS ON BREAK!"

:P

[mypexaccount]

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

hi,

we are currently in need of Technical Support Representatives in Makati until November 17, 2009.

Requirements:

· Candidate must possess at least Vocational Diploma / Short Course Certificate or Bachelor’s / College Degree in any field.
· Fresh graduates/Entry level applicants are encouraged to apply.
· Applicants should be Filipino citizens or hold relevant residence status.
· Technical troubleshooting background or experience in any field is an advantage.
· Good English communication skills and computer literate.
· Call Center experience is a plus but not required.
· Immediate hiring.


for interested applicants(referrals), please email me your updated resume in MS Word format to: rmkrasiajobs@gmail.com
Type TSR-PEX as subject to your email

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[rafaraf]

isang araw sa HR..

HR: May i speak with Ms.(applicant name)?

App: Yes, this is it!

tumbling.. Michael Jackson itoh?

[morfeen]

ito naman sa akin.
when i still worked for sy***, i handle almost all the territories of my account. One time i called a customer from australia:

me: Hi! Good afternoon, this is morfeen from (company), may i speak with (name, i forgot)
customer: Hi morfeen! Lemme see if she is in her office right now blah blah blah (super heavy australian accent)

(nahirapan talaga akong intindihin siya)
me: (i forgot to press the mute button) p*tang-inang accent yan!

buti na lang hinold na niya ako kaya di narinig ng customer. kaso na record yung call ko. next day tinawag ako ng TL ko kasi na QA yung call ko. pinagsabihan lang ako tawa kami ng tawa. sabi ng TL ko ginamit na daw yung call ko na yun as an example ng isang bad call sa training ng trainees. Lol. ahahahaha

[...wakaranai]

dialogue ng agent na minomonitor ko:

agent: so sir, that will be Yorkshire. Y as in Wyoming, O as in Oscar...

(what the... :confused::lol:)

[dawson_khaled]

dialogue ng agent na minomonitor ko:

agent: so sir, that will be Yorkshire. Y as in Wyoming, O as in Oscar...

(what the... :confused::lol:)

bat kasi mejo unusual yung naisip niyang word.

sabagay, meron akong nakausap, "Y as in YOU" tama pero...:lol: