Call Center bloopers...... boo boo

[snowflower]

:p Hey people! If you are working in a call center or have been to one or a phone operator, just post some funny things that ever happened to you on your work. :p

Here are some that happened in my office.....

RING RING!
CSA: Thank you for calling (blah... blah... blah...) this is Betty Speking how may I help you?
Caller: Okay, Miss "Peking" I would like an authorization code....
(Gosh, Nagkasundo sila sa surname???? Duh!)

Clmt: (clmt was keyspelling his current location....)
CSA: okay sir, that's A for "Alpha"... M for "Mike".... O for.... for... "OSAMIS?" <-----saang probinsya kaya galing to???

[snowflower]

Here some more......

CSA: May I have your last name please?
Cust: Smith
CSA: May I have ur first name?
Cust: Terry
CSA: Thank u Mr. Terry! :hiya:

bet : okay ma'm from what i see here we need to verify your add...do you have a tel num of your neighbor libing in the same street?
cust : what?
bet : ma'm if you have a tel num of your neighbor libing in the same street?
:bounce2:

[hat_tr1ck]

My only blooper while I was a CSO happened while I wasn't even into my first week on the job yet.

A client (a VIP cardholder) called up asking for the available balance on his credit card. I told him that he only had less than a thousand pesos available. Of course he got really pi$$ed.

My booboo? I didn't notice that there was a "-" indicated beside the amount on the computer screen, which meant na he not only had the full credit limit of his card available to him, our company even owed him the almost one thousand pesos I mentioned earlier.

Needless to say, my supervisor had to come to my rescue and explain to the cardholder what just happened. And from then on, I really, really doublechecked the entires on my screen. :D

[Saikee]

eto (not my experience, kwento lang sa akin). this person worked as a Metrobank CSA before, but then went to Citibank as a CSA pa rin. so here goes...


Citiphone CSA: thank you for calling Metrobank, this is #### how may I help you?

Client: ....??

Citiphone CSA: hello?

Client: ....uh... I think I have the wrong number.



hehe! :D

[bontistic]

here's mine:

>>i hate answering phone calls mainly because i dont know
what to say so I let the others do it.
>>i heard a colleague once...

ring! ring! ring!
Bald: Good morning, thank u for calling Company, this is
Bald, how may I help u?

>>it was my first week in the office and one sunday morning:

ring! ring! ring!

>>i was deciding either to answer the phone or not and i've
decided that since I was alone, I had to do it.
>>i practiced once so that I wont fumble...
>>i said to myself (Good morning, welcome to Company,
this is Bontistic, may I help u?)
>>then when I picked the phone up, i said...

Bontistic: Good morning, this is Company,
welcome to Bontistic, how may I help u?

hehehe :blush:

[LinuxMandrake]

client: my address is 459 quintin drive...
agent: sir, is that Q for cucumber?

[drageur]

Originally posted by bontistic
here's mine:

>>i hate answering phone calls mainly because i dont know
what to say so I let the others do it.
>>i heard a colleague once...

ring! ring! ring!
Bald: Good morning, thank u for calling Company, this is
Bald, how may I help u?

>>it was my first week in the office and one sunday morning:

ring! ring! ring!

>>i was deciding either to answer the phone or not and i've
decided that since I was alone, I had to do it.
>>i practiced once so that I wont fumble...
>>i said to myself (Good morning, welcome to Company,
this is Bontistic, may I help u?)
>>then when I picked the phone up, i said...

Bontistic: Good morning, this is Company,
welcome to Bontistic, how may I help u?

hehehe :blush:

hahaha!! i love this one...this is soooo funny!!! :rotflmao:

[pinaysrdbest]

my experience: (I worked in a bank)

Banker: Bank's name , this is Clarissa, may I help you?

Caller : Hello, Susan! Susan!

:bounce2::bounce2::bounce2:

[nakikipost_po!!]

hir's my experience......

i was kinda new pa noon....barely a month pa lang.....

client: how much will i save with ur service?
CSA: sir, based on the computations that i made, if u switch to our service, we can give u a $75 savings every month!!! .....o di ba? :rotflmao:

[Una_dagmar]

For those working in the call center, I know that at some point o another, you've made some boo-boo's. Wanna share them so we all could have a good, healthy laugh?

[bebe_girl702]

these are some of the boo-boo's collected from the floor:

1. Sir, kindly state your first and last name starting off with your area code?

2. Sir, do you happen to remember your first name, please?

3. Agent: So how long the camera?

4. Ma'am, please turn off all electrical appliances within the vicinity of your modem. This might be causing the interference.

5. Customer: So what do I do now?
Agent: Click on the OK button, and now let's keep our fingers crossed....

6. Customer: So are you a boy or a girl?
Agent: Well, let's just say a little bit of both....(Nyah!)

7. Sir, let us not tamper with the Safe mode. It was placed there for a purpose!

8. Customer: Mr. Stanley just stepped out of the house. This is his wife.
Agent: Can you ask him to step back in again, ma'am?

9. Customer: So do I turn the camera over?
Agent: Yes, sir. You would have to turn yourself over. Right, Sir.

:D :D :D :D :D

[amPOGIko]

one time ang haba nung sasabihin ko nasabi ko na lang sa huli blahblahblah pweh.

[hack__you]

tech: sir, i want you to type "restore"...R as in Robert, E as in Echo, S as in...

cust: wait wait wait!!!...How do u spell echo?

=====

tech: sir, type P as in Paul

cust: what?! B as in Ball?

tech: no sir, P as in Peter!

cust: OWWW...B as in Beer!!!

======
American cust: Y as in You! E as in Eco 2 3 1
Indian tech: Y as in U? or Y as in...Y?
American cust: Y as in YOU!! Y starts with a W! reffering to (why)
Indian tech: ok sir, so your service tag in W...E231
American cust: F@#k Y@# m0r0n!! (then hangs up the phone)

[aina_crazy_girl]

I started out as an agent...

One of my most memorable boo-boo's was recorded and audited by the Q.M. of my former workplace

ONSITE TECH: the customer is not with me right now, but i called in his behalf for a system exchange.

ME: oh okay... would you know if he opened the chassis?

ONSTE TECH: i don't think so... but uh, yeah.. i don't hink he even used it yet. it just came in and it's not working and stuff, y'know?

ME: alright.. so you mean that the system is virtually virginal..uhh. ummm.. i mean, it's still untouched?!!

:P

grabe, tawa nang tawa buong team namin pati Team Leader ko nun.

haaay.. those were the days

[burnik78]

WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....

[neth_row]

Talaga lang ha. Eh tignan mo naman sarili mo, hindi ka nagtatrabaho sa call center, pero bakit ganyan ka ka-bobo.

Hindi siguro tinanggap yan sa call center kaya ganyan :glee:

[firewoman24]

bitter yan di nakapasa sa mga exams hahahah!

[_nu_]

From the floor of an outbound program...

customer: I can't do this right now, just call me back ok?

agent: sure sir, I'll text you back

--------

customer: So you're telling me that there's no way I can monitor the minutes I use up?

agent: just look at the clock every time you call!

-------

an agent who wasn't feeling well was sleeping, and was unable to send the disposition of her last call before she fell asleep. her team buddy saw her and called out, '(agent's name)!, send dispo!'

the agent then immediately sent the disposition and went back to sleep. As soon as the next call came in, the agent is startled from her sleep and says "SEND DISPO!"

[lech0n 420]

Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....

why don't YOU take a call and find out what's really working...the mouth, or the brain??? :grrr: and eat some lechon while you're at it.

and dammit, i'm not ashamed to admit my latest blooper...

"MY APOLOGIZE, MA'AM...er...my apologies."

LECHON = LYDIA'S (TM)

[leftwinger]

Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....


You'll have your taste of boredom soon. You think it's boring? Take a call, or an email ticket, let's see if your brain is usefull at it YOU LOW LIFE!

[jaz_dancer]

this is a blooper of one of our CS Reps:

customer (very irate!!!): don't say ok becoz it's not ok!@$%!^!!!!!

agent: ........ok... (at nagwala ang ating mahal na customer!!) hehehe.

some of mine:

agent: I'm sorry but this is the only department that handles the calls of our customers.

customer: and what department are you?

agent: call center

customer: a what?!!

(nyark!!!at medyo customer service dept nga pala dapat, hehehe)

loser ala ko maalalal!!!!!!!!! pero ang dami talaga!!! hehehe.

Mind you, there are also some that I'd like to call "customer-boo-boo's"

agent: will that be all ma'am?

customer: Oo. Ay opo! ay...um sorry, i came from a different country kasi..ay!! I'm really sorry please bear with me(and then started to laugh).

(well what do you know!:))

[daniela25]

HAY NAku sawa na ko sa call center na yan, almost 1 year na ko nagwowork sa ibat-ibang call center na yan. wats the best next thing regarding sa aking career plan. ayoko na sa call center nagsasawa na ako.


:lol: :rotfl: :rotfl: :bleh:

[daniela25]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION...

:lol: :rotfl: :rotfl: :bleh: :bleh:

[MsLoriBarbero]

Ang sumasagot ng telepono sa bahay namin, mga katulong. Marunong rin ba kayong maglaba?

[jpmontoya3]

Originally posted by MsLoriBarbero
Ang sumasagot ng telepono sa bahay namin, mga katulong. Marunong rin ba kayong maglaba?

hindi eh coz the maids do that *** about your maids do they know how to do the laundry or do u even know or understand what i'm saying?

[jpmontoya3]

Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....

what a pathetic loser who doesn't know what the heck he/she is saying...let's see you try helping out someone fix his/her computer over the phone...

[burnik78]

Originally posted by jpmontoya3
what a pathetic loser who doesn't know what the heck he/she is saying...let's see you try helping out someone fix his/her computer over the phone...


EPAL....DUH.......I WOULDNT CARE LESS PAL......:rolleyes:

[aina_crazy_girl]

Originally posted by burnik78
EPAL....DUH.......I WOULDNT CARE LESS PAL......:rolleyes:

lemme guess... you are jobless and have failed numerous attempts at getting in each and every call center, huh?

if you are employed, you are unhappy and are paid very very low.

judging from your posts, you are not that educated. hence, you are not qualified to be employed in a good company nor in a good position.

especially yuor choice of words.

you can say whatever you want, but your personality and level of education shows in your posts and in the intensity in which they were written.

you can claim employment and good standing, but you've already brought your own ruin.

get a job.

[chix2003]

Originally posted by MsLoriBarbero
Ang sumasagot ng telepono sa bahay namin, mga katulong. Marunong rin ba kayong maglaba?

excuse me po, pero medyo nakaka-offend naman po ang post nyo.

i'm not a call center agent but i do feel for these people. they are working so hard just to earn a decent living. the last thing they need is being ridiculed by someone like you, who, i think, doesn't even have an idea on what their job really is. what made you think that they just answer the phone like what your maids do? think again. :)

[jpmontoya3]

Originally posted by burnik78
EPAL....DUH.......I WOULDNT CARE LESS PAL......:rolleyes:

well it figures coz u don't know how to...in fact it's most likely that you don't know how to do anything...and most probably you don't have a job...

[ahrjhey]

csr: does someone live at the business location?
customer: oh God, i do hope not... it's just me, i presume.
(the customer manages a cemetery)

[mushy24]

hi guys new memeber lang po ako **.

this is my first time 2 post here.

ndi nmn ako from a voice call center. i mean we're not phone support agents. we use chat and e-mail.

One time kc may ka chat ako sa yahoo messenger eh pag may client kami *** cursor dun bigla napupunta sa may chat tool namin.

bigla ko ba **** nasend dun sa client ko *** dapat eh dun sa ka-chat ko ang sabi ko pa

"EH IKAW KC EH LAGI MO AKONG NILALANDI"

sabi ng client ko "Where are your located?"


buti n lang ndi ako na QA

[HoRnY4NiE]

i heard this story sa isang friend ko...

tech support: ok sir, can u pls type cmd on the run field
client: what?!!!
tech support: cmd sir
client: (irate!) WHAT IS THAT?!!!
tech support: ok!!! c as in CLIENT, m as in MUST and d as in DIE (ngaiks!!!) hehehe

[wkt]

agent: (gave an assumptive question to get the billing add) so ma'am, youre still living at P.O. Box...
customer: honey, i dont live in a box. i have a house.

---

agent: if ur change ever needs...err...if ur need ever change please dial ...

---

agent: (speaking to a kid) so, is ur mom in ryt now?
kid: wait up...mooooom!!!
hello? (still the kid, prentending to be his mom)
agent: so ur mom isnt there, is she?
kid: what are u talking abt? im the lady of the house...
agent: (g@go to ah!) alright, can i speak with ur husband then?
kid: maaaartin! somebdy wants to speak with u...
whos this? (still the kid, this time, tatay **** *** kunwari)

hmpf! bata pa kup@l na..

---

more to come :)

[ambertookme]

eto katabi ko (outbound project)

reading from a script...

"and i have ur billing address as blah blah blah,city of Sunapee,state of ....err....uhhh (NH) Northern Hemisphere..."

halos mahulog ako sa kakatawa

[piQuAnT]

had this call yday:

me: Michael Sparks is listed in your account. Do you know this person?
cx: no, who's that? Michael Sparts?
me: Michael SparKs sir, that's SparKs. (iniistress ko yung K, cuz he says it with a "T") again, that's, Michael Sparks, instead of a "T" that's a K. K for kilo or kitchen.
cx: What? hey listen, im a senior citizen. u got to pronounce it right. u have a lousy pronunciation of sparTs. Is it michael? or just Sparts?
me: just michael sparks sir. (naiinis na ko..)
cx: JUST michael? J-U-S-T Michael? (inispell pa!!..nakupo!)
me: MICHAEL SPARKSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!


argh, sumakit ulo ko! *****, in the end...napahiya pa sya kase just michael sya ng just michael..:lol: :p

[beefeater]

From an outbound account:

CSA: "...and since you're a valued **** computer..."
Me: Hmmm...?

What the agent was supposed to mean was "Since you're a valued **** customer..."

When did the words COMPUTER and CUSTOMER ever get close?

[LinuxMandrake]

Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....

hah! siguro nga hindi ka nakapasa sa call center kaya ka ganyan... hehehe... saya kaya dito. oh and by the way, AFAIK challenge is spelled with 2 L's. siguro bagsak ka sa spelling test kaya wala ka sa call center. hehehe...

Originally posted by MsLoriBarbero
Ang sumasagot ng telepono sa bahay namin, mga katulong. Marunong rin ba kayong maglaba?

well ako marunong maglaba pero *** mga maid nyo ba kumikita ng 50k a month doing laundry and answering calls? if so, apply nako sa inyo! hehehe...

[LinuxMandrake]

kung may opening as labandero and tagasagot ng tawag for 50k, refer nyo naman ako. hehehe...

[livs]

Agent: Ma'am, Is that C as in Scissors?

[livs]

Agent: Sir, Is that Y as in Wyoming?
American caller: U sure, coz the last time I checked Wyoming starts w/ a W.

[* tinny gUrL *]

Originally posted by livs
Agent: Sir, Is that Y as in Wyoming?
American caller: U sure, coz the last time I checked Wyoming starts w/ a W.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[mark_mark]

yabang nitong si MsLoriBarbero

[LinuxMandrake]

san na si chalenge tsaka *** nagpapasweldo ng 50k a month sa katulong na sumasagot sa telepono? foforward ko *** resume ko sayo! wahahaha!!!

[mikeabundo]

Originally posted by MsLoriBarbero
Ang sumasagot ng telepono sa bahay namin, mga katulong. Marunong rin ba kayong maglaba?

Of course, you don't need trained personnel to take your calls, MsLoriBarbero. With an attitude like yours, who the Hell would want to call you? :mad:

[mikeabundo]

Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....

If that's your idea of a phone conversation, then you must be a terribly boring person, burnik78. :rolleyes:

[avonlea]

Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....

siguro kung 'yan lang ang ginagawa mo... for me, call center work is very challenging... lalo na if you're doing outbound calls for a really big company and also kung nasa B2B ka...

you need to be very creative to do good in a call center...

[aina_crazy_girl]

hayaan na natin yang walang trabahong yan

[CoolCucumber]

kwento sa 'kin ng kaibigan kong pasaway:

friend: good afternoon... (blah blah blah)
tapos parang binara siya ng tinawagan niya tapos sabay bagsak ng telepono.
e kaibigan ko hindi patatalo. tawag siya uli.
friend: hello this is Ms. (name niya). i work for the IRS (basta 'yung dept. na nangungulekta ng tax sa US) and since you don't want to settle your matters over the phone i'll just send an agent to your house.
customer: wait wait wait wait wait.........

blag. line is dead. binagsakan siya ng kaibigan kong nagtratrabaho sa IRS :glee:

[veco_notebook]

MsLoriBarbero - naman to o, di ba nanay mo taga-sagot ng phone sa inyo.... sama mo pati ba naman nanay mo, kinikupalan mo??

[razzp]

Originally posted by burnik78
WALA NAMANG KACHALENGE CHALENGE ANG WORK NG MGA NASA CALL CENTERS EH...ALL THEY NEED TO DO IS TO SAY HELLO GOODAFTERNOON SIR MAM....BLAH BLAH BLAH...NO NEED TO USE THE BRAIN AFTERALL...ITS ALL THE TONGUE THAT WORKS AND THATS IT...WHAT A BORING PROFESSION.....

Wala talaga! Ang nakaka-challenge ay ang itype ng tama ang challenge. Kita mo nahirapan ka pa. :lol:

[LinuxMandrake]

@razzp, hehehe... pansin mo din ah... alam ko challenge eh dalawang L. baka nagmadali lang at nalmutang ilagay *** isa pa. hehehe...

[dongski]

hahaha!!! kawawang nilalang! well di nga siguro na tanggap yan sa call center at sobrang bitter :(. well pa ki check na lang po ang thread kung tungkol saan kc naliligaw ang post mo eh kaya di ka makakuha ng matinong trabaho, and while your looking for a job sama mo na rin si MsLoriBarbero kc pareho kayong walang pinag-aralan. Bakit ba meroong ganitong klaseng tao walang magawa sa buhay.

[name]

grabe. sobrang natawa ako sa mga bloopers!

TSR : Ok. Since this may take around 30 minutes, is it okay if I kill you later?

NYAAAA!!!

ME : As soon as your computer boots up, press F2.

Customer : Which F2? the one on the screen or the one on the keyboard?

:bop:

ME : May I have the service tag please?

Chinese/Korean Customer : Ok the service tag is 1-B-S-R-"Yi"

ME : Ok. So That's number 1. And then B as in Bravo. S as in Sierra. R as in Romeo and is the last character a number three??

Customer : No! No! That is Letter Yi!

ME : Uhh .. ok. Is that a Letter C? As in Charlie? Or Cat?

Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! Like Yu! Yu!

ME : Letter T? Like Tree? Or Two??

Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! YI!!!! Like Yu! You know, with the animals!

ME : OHHHHH!!! A LETTER Z!!! AS IN ZOO! With the animals!!

Customer : YES YES!! You got it!

HAHAHAHAHAHA :lol: and that took around 5 minutes.

The whole call took a few hours, because we had to perform the usual format and reinstall routine. He was one of the nicest people I've spoken to. *okay* I would rather have a thousand calls just like that rather than one call from an irate customer. :ayaw:

I'm not working at a call center now, pero nakakamiss rin :)

[bushi_princess]

anong hi and hello *** ang sinasagot namin... meron din namang "good day." "you have a great day!".

** akala ko ba bloopers to? eh bat me ngaawayan **?

i had a cust once eh medio frustrated n rin ako kasi me kakakausap ko *** n irate cust. tpos after that call,me kausap n akong guy s sobrang badtrip ko kasi *** stupid coach ko eh nilipat ako s ibang sked kaya ayun ang napagbuntungan ko ng galit eh *** cust,in short naging irate tech ako,natanong ko tuloy *** ng "eh sir what have you done ba to cause the problem?" di ko namamalayan.*** ***... weheheh.taglish. share ko ***...

[beefeater]

One of the most stoooopid mistakes that I made since I started taking in calls:

"Is there anything else I can speak (supposed to be help) you with?"

[Burberry_gurl]

***the name of the customer is JOHN....
REP: just to verify that sir your name is John... thats J - as in John... hehehehe

*** can i have your first name first and last name last?

*** sir... thats www.com.... i mean www.com.... sorry for that sir thats www.com!

isip pa ako...

[spadia]

I heard from my ofcmates
There is an Inidan customer named Shakira
CSR: Can you please spell out your name?
Shakira: ok,..it is S as in Shakira
H as in Hakira
A as in Akira
K as in kira
I as in Ira
R as in Ra
A as in A
HEHE

[mr_confused]

after the phone rings..... beep beep...

thank you for WAITING, my name is...... Zane.......ngeek!

ZANE, that's Z - A - N - E, ZANE like insane?!?!?

mwehehehe!!! :D

[omeng]

bwahahahahaha

sakit tyan ko dito.. i love this thread! =)

[comh00ya]

this thread makes my day!
don't quarrel please..

[BabyFATS]

Agent: Sir, are you inside your computer right now? :lol:

http://www.ethanwiner.com/Smiley%20Land/Tongue.gif

[kireigonjin]

PHONE BANKER: Are you the principal (as in principal card holder) ma'am?
CUSTOMER: No, I'm just an employee...

(okey...)

[DukotKing]

"This is Paul, TUBERO assist you..."

[fr3nchk1ss]

agent: thank u 4 calling... this is (name). how may i help u?
customer: hello?
agent: yes ma'am?
customer: hello?
agent: yes, i'm here ma'am. how may i help u?
*click* (customer hangs up)

i thought there was just a problem with the phone line, but then i realized she couldn't hear me because the mouthpiece of my headset was not yet in position. hehe... buti na lang napansin ko agad before i received another call.


here are some customer bloopers:

agent: do u have an email address?
customer: yes. it's blah blah blah, and then the LETTER 2 @aol.com

customer (secretary calling for her boss): may i put u on hold?
agent: yes, go ahead.
*music*
secretary: thank you for calling (name of their company)... i mean thank u for holding. hahaha!

[Feanor]

Originally posted by name
grabe. sobrang natawa ako sa mga bloopers!

TSR : Ok. Since this may take around 30 minutes, is it okay if I kill you later?

NYAAAA!!!

ME : As soon as your computer boots up, press F2.

Customer : Which F2? the one on the screen or the one on the keyboard?

:bop:

ME : May I have the service tag please?

Chinese/Korean Customer : Ok the service tag is 1-B-S-R-"Yi"

ME : Ok. So That's number 1. And then B as in Bravo. S as in Sierra. R as in Romeo and is the last character a number three??

Customer : No! No! That is Letter Yi!

ME : Uhh .. ok. Is that a Letter C? As in Charlie? Or Cat?

Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! Like Yu! Yu!

ME : Letter T? Like Tree? Or Two??

Customer : No! No! Letter Yi! YI!!!! Like Yu! You know, with the animals!

ME : OHHHHH!!! A LETTER Z!!! AS IN ZOO! With the animals!!

Customer : YES YES!! You got it!



Sinadya mo ba to or what? :lol:

[hugs]

not really my blooper, but a caller from Arkansas/Alabama asking for a listing, i couldn't understand him because of the accent so i asked him to help me spell out what he's looking for...

let's say he's looking for pizza hut..

CALLER: ...H as in Harry, U as in Eugene, T as in Tom.. :lol: natawa talaga ako lalo na kasi because of the way he said it..

[yellowRanger]

before( escalations not allowed)

customer: you don't know what your're doing i want to speak with your supervisor NOW!

cca: Ma'm i apologize but I'm the ONLY one in charge for this account!:D

customer: What???

this one i really can't forget because I did this once during my newbie days!

customer: sir i just want to speak with your supervisor please because i want my electric connected now!

me: Ma'm I do understand the gravity of the situation but unfortunately I'm the only one here in this cluster of the building for this is the early shift!?:eek:

customer: WHAT? are you saying your the only employee of your company!???

:lol:

[yellowRanger]

(another one)

customer: your name is what?
cca: my name is bruce, how may I help you?
customer: say what now?
cca: ma'm bruce B- as in (george w. bush!):lol:
customer: ok bush

(it did not end here )

customer: hi bush I' m calling about disconnecting my service
cca: ma'm let me help you with that
customer: say what now?
cca: let me assit you ma'm
customer:let me talk to someone else I don't understand your accent
cca: Certainly ma'm pls dial the same number and listen to the voice prompt and press the option for our department, thank you for calling ***energy we appreciate your business.:lol:

this agent got QA'd and got outright termination.:lol:

[yellowRanger]

customer calling to set up an account

cca: I'll be glad to turn you on Ma'm!?:lol: (QA people almost fell on their seats when they heared this!)

[maxelyjr]

here's one...
is that K as in.... cat? i mean the little cat....

and here's another...
agent: 3
client: what?
agent: three... as in christmas three? (Hahahha)

[mintfreak]

this happened while we were on our pre-live days....

CSR: thank you for calling #$%$#^%^%## my name is #@$@$ may i have your mobile number?

CUST: ***********

CSR: how can i help you today?

CUST: i would like to pay my bills

CSR: i would first like to verify some information...your name ma'am? and your cc number? .......and just to verify ma'am, you are in the state of missouri (ANG PAGKAKAPRONOUNCE ng agent ay MISERY)

natawa nalang *** customer.. naaliw siguro..

[anne_373]

do u have any funny experience that you couldnta forget? mind to share with us!

Here's mine,
ive got a friend of mine who told me this story and i cant stop myself laffin.


her bf's friend was so sleepy and decided to take a nap... all of a sudden the phone rang and woke him up-- he said " So where are we now?" all of his team mates look at him and wonder " May kausap pala sya?!?" :confused:
***************************************************
2nd

CUstomer: I would like to know the caseid# regarding our problem blahblahblah.


CSR: Sir can I hold u for a min so i can search for that case?

(duh baka can i put u on hold) nakakahiya talaga , nakaspeakerphone pa man din hehehe
so whats ur story?:*)

[Tri[p]nautic]

It happened to me during my 2nd day of duty.

Me: The reason for my call right now is...

PIC: I'm sorry mr. Smith but I'm not interested and could you please... blah! blah! blah!

Me: Uhmm... Uhmm.. Eh... Opo.

----

At least, the PIC dropped the phone immediately, she didn't hear me say the word opo during the course of our conversation.

[krazie21]

Eto naman yung saken ...

*******

Wala pa namang call that time, yung co-CSA ko binigyan ako ng gum. Sa malas biglang may dumating na call ...

Me: sh*t ka, ang asim pala nito.

Client: What are talking about? Im here to blah.blah.blah!


*******

May kausap akong Indian client that time, eh, mejo pre-occupied ako ng ibang bagay. I kept on saying to him that the problem is on bangladesh, eh sa Indonesia pala tumatawag. Sabi ba naman saken, "I think you have a boyfriend in Bangladesh" sabay tawa. Chismoso!


*******

Minsan naman may Pinoy akong nakausap (from LA) tinatanong ba naman ako kung bakit di mareceive yung text nya sa Pinas, then sabay "miss pwede bang makuha yung cel # mo? testing ko lang kung marereceive mo. sabi ko bawal (eh, bawal naman talaga) ang kulet!

[anne_373]

Originally posted by krazie21
Eto naman yung saken ...

Minsan naman may Pinoy akong nakausap (from LA) tinatanong ba naman ako kung bakit di mareceive yung text nya sa Pinas, then sabay "miss pwede bang makuha yung cel # mo? testing ko lang kung marereceive mo. sabi ko bawal (eh, bawal naman talaga) ang kulet!

it reminds me of this situation.. well we support APAC region so Phil is one of those countries.

me: thank you for calling ***** helpdesk, this is ***** speaking how can i help you?

caller: hello sky cable?

me: im sorry sir but i guess uve got the wrong number

caller: hndi magtatanong lang may extra cable ba kayo dyan? magkano per meter

me: sir, this is ***** help desk wrong number po kayo

caller: a ganun ba, bakit anong kailangan nyo?

duh hes the one who called kaya! geesh!

[Kikkomann]

Nangyari ito sa co-agent ko last sunday (August 15):

CX: So, what's your ethnic origin (basta something to this effect... nakalimutan ko na yung exact na tanong).

TS: I'm an asian...

CX: Oh... in Asia. Well, Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Happy New Year... ayos!:D

[driven]

The best calls are from Pinoys in the US. TH kasi mag-english minsan.

Tech Sup: Sir, are you getting an error message?

Cust: Uh...Yes. I am gettin Dis Peds Cannot Be Displed.
------------------------------------------

One of my calls

Tech Sup: Sir, can you tell me what you see on the monitor?

Cust: Nothing! It's all black!

Tech Sup: Sir, is the monitor on?!

Cust: Yes!

Tech Sup: (Duda kung on nga) Sir, do you see a power button on the monitor? Can you please push that button?

Cust: (Silence) Oh! Everything is okay now.

[hack__you]

tech: thank you for calling.... may I have ur name pls.

cust: dan alvarez

(troubleshoot)
tech:...

cust:...

after several minutes of doing chkdsk /r

tech: are you done sir?
cust: nope..
.
.
tech:are you done?
cust: nope
.
.
tech:are you done?
cust:why do you keep on asking if i'm DAN....I'M DAVID, DAN IS MY DAD!!! :glee:

[one_shot]

This one I just heard from a friend...

CX: I'm just wondering what these shiny circle thingies are...
TECH: Sir, those are compact discs and you'll need them to install a few programs in your computer. I'll be guiding you through the installation process, now I need you to place that on the CD drive....
CX: I don't know where it is...
(TECH explains how to locate the drive)
.... yes, that's the one which appears like a platform with a hole in the middle.
CX: oh... you mean the mug holder?

:D

Isa pa.... (same friend dealing with a Chinese customer)

TECH: I need you to right click on My Computer icon...
CX: yes, I click....
TECH: then you'll have to select Properties
CX: no, I don't see properties...
TECH: sir, you should have seen the menu pop out and you'd find properties at the bottom part of the box
CX: no, no menu. i click on icon, yes?
TECH: No sir, I need you to right click on the icon...
CX: yes, I click, right? I click. program opens, no properties.

[santino_lwd]

Nde ako to kinwento lang to sakin ng teammate ko.


CSA: Thank you for calling... this is Candy how may I help you?

Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?

CSA: No sir it's candy...

Cust: Sorry can't hear did u say Mandy?

CSA: No sir.. candy sir ...candy as in Storck!

Cust: What? you're a strange girl Mandy...

[anne_373]

haha this is the latest one:

well admit it some mean csr's and tse's press mute button and scream "what the fu** or **** *** ang stup** mo!!!" while the client is still explaining his problem..

but my friend(hahaha), she had forgotten to press the mute button and said, " ang ***** talaga ng mga amerikano, bob*!"

client: im sorry but what did you say?
tse:im sorry sir i was just trying to look for the right solution to the technical prob
client: i see, thank you
tse: your welcome sir(blushin)

the following day, she got a memo! hehe

[t a m i z Z z ™]

directory assistance me eh

me: im sorry ma'am but im not pulling up a listing for that exact match in my database. not even for the address

caller : can u give me credit for this call?

me: (checking service provider id) im sorry ma'am but youre using a payphone. i cant give u credit for this call

caller: i paid a goddamn dollar and fifty for this call! i want it back!

me : well i cant make the coin go out of the phone ma'am

caller : i want my dollar and fifty!!!!

me: (exasperated) please hold for the coin.

[krazie21]

Yung Senior CSR samen binibigyan ng pizza num friend ko, eh biglang may tumawag...

CSR: Hope you dont mind giving me your pizza? (sumthing lyk that)

Client: I dont have pisa here.

:lol:

[ShIzN!T]

honestly, this did not come from yours truly---

***
Rep: Was that a "B" as in boy or a "B" as in bravo?

Caller: Uhm, "B" as in boy...
***

***
Rep: OK Katie, may I call you Katie?

Caller: Well, OK. But the name's Michelle!
***

***
Rep: Alright, let me verify that. Was that a "G" as in golf?

Caller: NO! That was a "G" as in GIBRA!
***

***
Rep: Yeah, sir... are you there?

Caller: Yes, yes. I'm there!
***

[aina_crazy_girl]

^ too funny

[anne_373]

haha right


something happened last night..

CSR: so sir youre having problems with what product

customer: BSC alarm blah blah pottage error

csr. im sorry but was that a package error

customer: no pottage.. P-O-C-K-E-J-E


*waah indians!!*

[DI10]

yung katabi ko leaving a message sa anak ng customer...

"can u tell ur mom in order to contact us...she may dial www.XXXXXX.com ... "

:glee:

[driven]

Yung isang agent dito sa amin...

CSR: That's I as in I

CSR: Sir, do you have netscep there?

---------------------------------------------
Ako sarili kong experience

CSR: So, you want to reset your password? Is this correct?

Cust: Yes.

CSR: Would you like to set your own password or would you like me to give you a generic password.

Cust: Uhmm.. just give me a generic one.

CSR: Alright. I have reset your password. Your new password will be... let me spell it out for you. That's K as in Kilo ... A as in apple....M as in mama.... O as in October..... T as in tango.... and E as in Echo

Cust: "Kamowt?" (kamowt in American accent-- kamote in Pinoy). That's a cool password. I'll never forget this. All right. Everything is working.

[issey27f]

from one of my co-reps:

rep: can you spell out your name, please?

CX: yes, my name is Cathy, that's C as in Kite --

(in the background, her boyfriend yells: "C as in Kite? What the h**l was that about?")

CX: oh, i'm sorry, that's C as in Cake....


:D :D :D

[coolsurf]

ampucha! sakit ng tyan ko sa katatawa.... C as in kite?? he3!.... this is the best stress - relieving thread i've ever come across.... now that i'm gonna start training tom on a call center.....

[panjie_nicole]

huh??you're earning 50k a month in a call center?ahhm..i ask that question xe sa other thread eh, they haven't answered me yet..so how's the salary bracket in call centers?what makes up that salary..xe i don't think it would be the daily wage..is it your commissions??sorry..off topic..just curious bout it..thanx..

[issey27f]

Originally posted by panjie_nicole
huh??you're earning 50k a month in a call center?ahhm..i ask that question xe sa other thread eh, they haven't answered me yet..so how's the salary bracket in call centers?what makes up that salary..xe i don't think it would be the daily wage..is it your commissions??sorry..off topic..just curious bout it..thanx..

there is a monthly salary. yung commissions, depende yan if you belong to a sales account.

[rabbaddal]

Read this article from the Philippine Star:

Not a very good way to promote investments in our country.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DEMAND AND SUPPLY By Boo Chanco
The Philippine Star 09/13/2004

Another reader e-mailed me this example of a very Filipino way of attracting investors and keeping them here.

"Another bad event for the Government that is well known within the foreign investor community is the raid on Cyber City Telecommunications on Clark Airfield. NBI agents raided the call center and executive offices because they received a report from a disgruntled employee that they were pirating software.

The NBI agents came in a gunpoint and shut the company down for at least four hours. The call center received thousands of phone calls that went unanswered. In the end nothing illegal was found to have occurred and the company lost millions in revenue and must now repair their lost reputation to their clients. This sent chills through the local ex-pat business community. "

[aina_crazy_girl]

^ sounds familiar

[issey27f]

just committed this mistake earlier today:

Me: so do you have a pen and paper ready for your order number?

Cx: sure.

Me: so here it is...6...n as in nancy...a as in nancy....

napahiya ako...A as in Nancy?!! :lol: :lol:

[camron]

common na tlaga minsan key spelling errors, tuliro na agents pag ganyan. hehehe. sa agent ko:

tech: "ok sir, do u have a pen and a pencil ready?"

ako, narinig ko kc ktapat ko station: "what?!"

tech: "oh, im sorry sir, do u have a pen and a ballpen ready?"

mejo matagal namin sha pinagtawanan. hehe

[Blue_Shades]

me: mam please look at the back of your modem and check if you have the ethernet cord conencted.

cus (ms fordham): the what? (with alabama accent)

me: yung yellow cord

[urlover]

cus: i have problems connecting.
agent: ok let me help you. Please click on the start button and run!

cus: huh? why do I have to run!

grrrrr!!!!!

[junjon]

mine naman, medyo shunga-shunga yung caller

cust: i have a problem with my internet, i cant connect
me: what is your connection, is it a dial-up or a dsl
cust: its a dial-up
me: when did you tried connecting
cust:just now while talking to a friend
me:how many phons do you have
cust:just this one
me:have you tried connecting while not using your phone
cust: do i need to do that
me: yes sir because your connection is dial-up (leche tangengot!)

mga booboos ng co-agents ko
agent: i want you to click the space bar (instead of press)

____
agent: its E as in icho

_____
agent: come agian sir
cust: oh sure baby!

_____
agent: okey sir this is ano.. what you'll do, you have to type the ano the command run and ano....

[anne_373]

i got this one from a friend

customer: so do i have to wait for advice regarding the delivery?
csr: sir the package has been deliverd and all we have to do is wait POR FICK UP schedule.

ineng, parang baligtad ata... hehe

[dindi]

here are some good ones... pang-outbound nga lang:

call center agent: Good morning. This is [name] with [company]. May I please speak with Mr. Mike Jones?

operator of called company: Oh, he's deceased.

call center agent: Should I just call back for him then?

:rotflmao:

agent: i was hoping you can take this survey with me. would you have the time to do that sir?

contact: how long is this going to take?

agent: mga three minutes.

:lol:

agent: hi. this is [name] with [company]. I'd like to speak with Billy Thompson please.

contact: he's not in. would you like to leave a message in his voicemail?

agent: sure, sige.

:D

[krazie21]

Day 1

Client na Pinay in US: Day, ilang minutes ba tong card nyo ..

CSR: 23 po pag landline, 30 kapag mobile

Client: So, matagal pala. Kase ilalagay ko pa to sa sobre, ipapadala ko sa bf ko!

*nyeekkk! di naman pwedeng gamitin yung phone card sa Pinas saka ano connection ng minutes sa pagpapadala ng card sa Pinas*

Day 2 (same client)

Client: Day, kelan ba expiration nitong card

CSR: After 90 days po upon first use of PIN. So, kapag gagamitin nyo po today December 16 po yung expiration nya.

Client: Kase, day ipapadala ko 'to sa bf ko sa Pilipinas so di sya pwedeng gamitin ng October at November

*:mad: ano ba?! take note: pinangangalandakan nya bf nya samen*

I heard from a team8

CSR: Okey Sir, I will just put you on hold, i will just open your card

*huh?!

Just now ...

Client: I am using your card but I cant make a call. I heard a message that my call was monitored. can you help me?

CSR: Sure. Can I have your name please?

Client: Never mind. Never mind. I'll just try to call again

*Tinanong ko lang yung pangalan eh ... tsk*

[Ippoy]

Originally posted by daniela25
:lol: :rotfl: :rotfl: :bleh:


IF U THINK ITS PATHETIC AND WE USES ONLY OUR TONGUE...SO WHAT DO U THINK UR DOIN.? U AINT USING UR BRAIN AT ALL DUDE. THINK ON WHAT U SAID...!!! MORON!!!

[Ippoy]

while troubleshooting a computer problem with a customer , a friend of mine was trying fool around while we are taking on the phone ...biglang na lang kinirot yong isa ka-tech ko " sabay sigaw sa phone " dude stop that ..**** tai na !!! " kala ng cust yong sinigawan hheheh naging irate ang calls nila..

[kennster]

Originally posted by Ippoy
while troubleshooting a computer problem with a customer , a friend of mine was trying fool around while we are taking on the phone ...biglang na lang kinirot yong isa ka-tech ko " sabay sigaw sa phone " dude stop that ..**** tai na !!! " kala ng cust yong sinigawan hheheh naging irate ang calls nila..

Oi tsong, nkalimutan mo na yata clearance ko. 'musta na ba jan?

[Ratman]

Me: Thank you for calling (ACCOUNT - technical support), this is ******. How may I help you?

Cust: Dammit, I gotta cyst in my testicles!

[observer]

eto akin:

local client kaya mostly pinoy and callers, usually from visayas...

cust: hello! wala kasi yung bell ng phone namin...

me: hindi naman po ba nabagsak yung phone?

cust: hindi naman.

me: kailan pa po ito nagsimula?

cust: ang alin?

me: na hindi po nagriring yung phone...

cust: nagriring naman ah.

me: di ba wala pong ring?

cust: hindi! yung bell! yung listahan nung babayaran namin...

me: ah, yung BILL!

(sobrang pigil ng tawa ko nun)

bwahahaha... :D :D :D

no offense sa mga may ganung accent... :D :D :D

[dreamer888]

post pa kayo please...nakakatanggal ng lungkot tong thread nato promise...

[camron]

previous agent who resigned:
-"ok sir, could u pls drag the icon upstairs?"


-US cust: "so hows the weather there?"
agent: "its kinda cloudy today, sir."
US cust: "oh really, so where are you located?"
agent: "sir your call has been re rerouted in ORTIGAS!"

-tech:"thank you for calling ****, may i have your service tag pls?"
cust: "where is the service tag located?"
tech: "ma'am the service tag is located in Roundrock Texas..."

:D :D :rotfl: :rotfl:

[acidburn_wild]

The first call that I made during my first day on the floor was really funny. I was so nervous to make that call. And it took me like 10 minutes befor I logged on the phone. Then the first customer was on the line. The conversation went like this.

me: good morning this _____ from ______ may I speak with Mrs. Samantha Tan?

cust: this is "she"

me: oh hi Mrs. "Shi", may i speak with Mrs. Tan?

cust: this is "she"

me: yes I know Mrs. "Shi", but I need to speak with Mrs. Tan, is she there?

cust: I said, this "she"

and still I insisted on looking for Mrs Tan until the lady on the other line hanged up. I was thinking what's wrong with that person?. Then suddenly, I realized that she was actually telling me that she is Mrs. Tan! I burst into laughter upon realization of my stupidity. Until now it still makes me laugh everytime I hear "this is she"

[coolsexythug03]

this is from my team mate... :D outbound setting...

AGENT: Hello, good morning. My name is Theodore and I'M SPRINT PCS...

CUST: Say what..?

AGENT: Oh...my apologies! My name is theodore and I'm FROM Sprint PCS... Im looking for Mr. John Brown...

CUST: uh..he's not here..

AGENT: Oh..he's NOT HERE??? Can I just please leave a message???


:eek: :eek: :eek: :D :D :D

[wrenz]

Originally posted by leftwinger
You'll have your taste of boredom soon. You think it's boring? Take a call, or an email ticket, let's see if your brain is usefull at it YOU LOW LIFE!

I agree! Bakit ka pa mag-undergo 5-6 weeks of training kung wala ka namang dapat matutunan. Being a call center agent dapat marunong kang mag-multi-task, you're a quick thinker & you're confident enough to answer and handle calls. Hindi lahat ng tao meron niyan.. lalong lalo na ang mga b0bong tao. Sana 'yung mamang nag-post na 'yun e mag-isip muna bago mag-post ng mga ganung statement. :rolleyes:

[acidburn_wild]

Originally posted by coolsexythug03
this is from my team mate... :D outbound setting...

AGENT: Hello, good morning. My name is Theodore and I'M SPRINT PCS...

CUST: Say what..?

AGENT: Oh...my apologies! My name is theodore and I'm FROM Sprint PCS... Im looking for Mr. John Brown...

CUST: uh..he's not here..

AGENT: Oh..he's NOT HERE??? Can I just please leave a message???


:eek: :eek: :eek: :D :D :D


hey!!! are you from team phoenix??? :)

[coolsexythug03]

Originally posted by acidburn_wild
hey!!! are you from team phoenix??? :)


Hey, i am not just from team phoenix, im also from bay bakat // Notoriouz BAY :D :D :D

[agentmori]

Ako, after having a very long sales pitch with a Mr. John Doe....

Mr John Doe: "I am a WOMAN, and NO, I am NOT interested with your service."

*hungs up*

Tangnerts parang halimaw yung boses nya noh! Malay ko ba!

[hellenic_twist]

when receiving a dead air call (meaning there's no response coming from the other line.. whatever) .. we'd have to say our spiel 3x.. and if still there's no response... we have to tell the caller to call back again..

here's what i said... (after 3 spiels... )

"if you are trying to speak to me, i cannot seem hear your voice. please call us back again and i would have to HANG YOU UP*. thank you for calling __________ and have a good day!"

*meaning 'to release the call'

=) kamote! haha

[hellenic_twist]

here's one from my friend...

rep: alright we're going to perform a check-disk.. that is for us to see if your hard drive has errors in it... please type in C-H-K-D-S-K.

cust: what is that again?!

rep: C-H-K-D-S-K... that is...
>> C-as in Charlie
>> H-as in Harley
>> K-as in Karly
>> D-as in Darley
>> S-as in Sarley
>> K-as in Karly

[acidburn_wild]

Originally posted by coolsexythug03
Hey, i am not just from team phoenix, im also from bay bakat // Notoriouz BAY :D :D :D



ah!!! now i know!!! ur sembat!!!! :D :D :D

[dS30]

This is what i heard on our recordings on sales. It Needed to be reffer after the sale to a verifier..

(Cust was reffered to the verifier)
CSR: Thank you for waiting! My name is Tracy, is that correct?

hehehehehee

[dS30]

Well i had this one b4 and its really helarious.

me: thank you for calling De*L blah blah blah...
cust: yeah, im having problems with my PC... blah blah blah...

me: ok lets fix up your issue here... Kindly do this and "press any key" to boot from CD.
cust: ahh.. i missed it... where's the "press any key" in my keyboard?!

[dS30]

This is form my officemate..

tech: thank yo ufor callin'.... (cust butts in irrately)
Cust: Why my keyboard is not arrange in alphabetical order?!

What the...?!

[dS30]

One day my officemate is goin home.
He logout to our Systems and this and that... uses also the
proximity card to go out from the room.
Then when he reached the guard to check his stuffs if there are
things that are malicious...
Then "he use use his proximity card" to use the elevator.
Instead of pressing the Down Button.

[Mangulit_Lang]

BWAHAHAHAHAH NAKAKATAWA LAHAT ANG POST NYO!!!

ME NAMAN.


I was talking to a funny guy from the south. He was going to fast for me to understand the details.
So i did the common mistake...

Me: Sir, sorry, COME AGAIN...
Guy: Well darling i havent "come".
Me : (Me shocked) :whatthe: Umm could you REPEAT those info that you just gave me...
Guy: (he was laughing at me) Gladly....

-=-=-=-=-

All of us fall asleep while on a call...

We were installing the Operating System customer doesnt want to be put on hold. Me, fell asleep and was dreaming moaned... Huuuuhh :doze: ... I suddenly woke up and started humming a slow tune to cover my booboo. :unhappy:


Ok kayo naman....

[agentmori]

My officemate who was already half asleep....

"Hello, this is (name) and I'm calling on behalf of the Philippines."

Sabi pa ng tinawagan: "You're calling me in behalf of WHAT!?"

Ikaw ba naman tawagan ng isang bansa diba? Hehehe!

[Dacs]

Last call ko sa last day ko sa West....

After the opening lines blah blah...

ME: So sir, what seems to be the problem?
CX: Help me remove Earthlink in my PC... Earthlink is slowly taking over my PC!

Binigay ng sister nya yung PC sa kanya, must have installed some earthlink software dun kaya yung title bar ng IE may nakasulat na ".... IE provided by Earthlink...". Wala lang, what a weird way to end my stint sa voice support :D

[Boy_Tumador]

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have
been promoted, not fired.

This is a true story from the "WordPerfect Helpline" which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations).

"Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when
it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you
see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the
back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power...a power failure?... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and
manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then
take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."

[Boy_Tumador]

Got this from email

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She couldnot print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges.I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting,I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when sheasked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?"

[lost_kitten]

one time.. kausap kun un RS namin ..nagtatanong ako.. tos biglang nagsisigaw *** customer.. nasabihan ko tuloy ng.. "SANDALI LANG!"

[Dacs]

Originally posted by Boy_Tumador
Got this from email

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She couldnot print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine. Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges.I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting,I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when sheasked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow paper?"


The tech guy was OWN3D there :D

[gracey_12]

here's mine and a few from our account...

mine: super taranta and inis nko sa consumer/caller kasi we've been talking for almost 30 minutes and grabe, he was born 1916...so hindi na kami magkaintindihan...sa inis ko nasabi ko, "WAIT LANG SIR!!!" with the accent and everything...and he was like? "what????"

i really dunno if it's okay to laugh with the consumer on the phone but i really wasn't able to control myself because the consumer was disputing his current employment and that he works for ______ corporation DRIVERS and what's on his file was _______ DIAPERS...so we ended up just laughing...

friend: customer was saying something and guess it was right so my fellow csr said in a clear and loud voice "OPO!!"...

csr: "okay sir, with that matter i would have to transfer you to a SPECIAL AGENT"...parang special child eh...

friend: "okay ma'm, can i hold you for a minute?"
cons: "yes, by all means, you can hold me..."

[gracey_12]

and ito the best...ojt namin as in *** first call nung friend ko...

janice:"Welcome to e******, my name's janice, may i please verify your confirmation number"

cons:"4335555555"

janice:"thank you, now may i please verify your full name and the last digit of your last full social security number"

and the consumer was like "what the hell are you saying?"

[gracey_12]

eto *** latest na d ko malaman if i should get inis or what...

me:" welcome to e******, my name's ALLY, may i please verify your confirmation number?"

cons: "what did u say ur name was? alien?"

me:"no sir, it's ally..."

cons:"ok, it's allen and not alien"

me:akala ko na-press ko *** mute "put*, bingi!"

cons: "what did u say? i don't understand. now you're talking alien, alien"

kung pwede lang magrelease ng call ginawa ko na"




sa batchmate ko...

vince:"welcome to e******, this is vince, may i please verify your confirmation number?"

consumer verified everything...

cons:" hey you sound like my dentist"

and consumer kept on calling vince by his dentist's name...


eto nakwento lang sakin ng friend ko...directory assistance kase

cons:"can you suck my d*ck?"

agent:"on what city and state sir?"

[gracey_12]

Originally posted by yellowRanger
customer calling to set up an account

cca: I'll be glad to turn you on Ma'm!?:lol: (QA people almost fell on their seats when they heared this!)


grabe na ito...and sakit ng ng tummy ko...

[anne_373]

waah nowim handling 2 accounts and damn this new account of im into.. daming calls. before we used to get NONE but now, fu** daming calls sobra, then my phone rang..

ME:thank you for calling A SUPPORT .. blah blah
customer for B SUPPORT: *passed the phone to other engineer*
ME: *realized that its for B SUPPORT* eeeks
customer B: is this B support?
Me: oh yes sir youre calling the right number. what can i do for u..

eeks nakakahiya talaga!

[Dacs]

Heto di naman blooper, experience ko lang when I was still handling voice support.

cx: I'm having problem connecting to the internet...

bigla sa background sa end nung customer...

PU**NG INA MO AH!

tapos sabay hirit ng cx

cx: Are you a Filipino?

me: opo :D

Buti di na QA yung tawag na yun hehehe

[stranded7]

CSA: City and State pls?
Caller: Chicago, Illinois
CSA: How may I help you there?
Caller: I want the phone number for SCQ.
CSA: What does SCQ stand for sir?
Caller: I have no idea.
CSA: Aha! That stands for Star Circle Quest!
Caller: Yeah that's it!!! (bwahahaha!!!)

[OHNO!]

heard from my officemate:

Cx: name is Joe Zulueta

Agent: ok. . that's Joe Zulueta. . . does that begin with a Z or a "Zey"??

[quitetight]

If you have funny experiences with your previous calls, feel free to post them here!!

Are are some of my bloopers:

rep: so, let me spell your name ... it's blah.. blah.. next, F as in, am.. err.. F as in FRIED CHICKEN??
cus: yeah, that's right!

[BlueGal_27]

working in a call center is so much fun... :wink: you get to talk to different people from different parts of the world... :D it's a fun experience too... ;) i also had lots of boo boos when taking calls.. this one was from a collegue of mine:
tech troubleshooting a pc
tech: sir can we make sure all the windows are closed
cust: ok, can i put the phone down?
tech: sure sir..
<after 2 mins cust came back>
cust: ok i've closed all the windows in my house... what's next?
<haller!!! hahahahaha!!!>

[faaip_de_oiad]

I got a friend who works for a call center - he also gets worked up with Pinoys in the US with horrid english. hehehe.

---

can't believe that there are call center agent bashers nowadays. hehehe. that's probably just bitterness. :D

[PrEttyD0LL]

bump..... :D

[candy_kulet]

being a QA associate... madami na me narinig.. like this..

CUST: the item code is r4m888
REP : Im sorry what's that again?
CUST: R4M888
REP : uhmm.. uhmmm is it M... M as in eMbrella..?!

[EcKo_01]

i remember nung asa call ako handling ____ finance.

caller: (cursing a person na sa kabilang linya tapos sabay balik sa kin)
Ei, can I use my ATM in applying for a balance transfer?
teka nga pala, pinoy ka ba?

me: (sa sobrang kaba napasagot ako bigla) no sir.

caller: ah ok.. i thought you are a filipino.

got it guys? hehehehe....

[gungrust]

buti hindi na gets ng caller :) :)

[cuteflirt_4sale]

i remember nung asa call ako handling ____ finance.

caller: (cursing a person na sa kabilang linya tapos sabay balik sa kin)
Ei, can I use my ATM in applying for a balance transfer?
teka nga pala, pinoy ka ba?

me: (sa sobrang kaba napasagot ako bigla) no sir.

caller: ah ok.. i thought you are a filipino.

got it guys? hehehehe....


ang kulit amp!

[gracey_12]

eto sa friend ko...

the customer was irate and ranting and she's not listening perhaps...

csr: "MA'M, I AM YOUR FRIEND, I AM NOT YOUR ENEMY!"

tumahimik *** floor and then nagclap ng hands lahat!

[gracey_12]

eto *** urban legend sa account namin kaso na-terminate eh...

cons: "what's your supervisor's name?"
csr: darna
cons:spell that?
csr:d-a-r-n-a...darna of team 4
cons: and what's your name?
csr: ding

d ko alam if naka-mute sha dito or hinde "you americans never fail to annoy me"

csr speaking with an indian
"sir! can you please speak slowly! i can't understand what you're saying and your accent is so terrible!!!"

[monito]

***from an outbound program***
agent: Ma'am this is _______ from _______, may I speak with ______?
Oh I see, I must have dialed the wrong number, anyway thank you
for the Inconvenience

hahaha anu daw??? baka thank you for your time & sorry for the Inconvenience hahaha
=========================================================
here's another from a co-agent again

***from an outbound program***

male agent(christopher) : Hello good afternoon, may I speak with Christopher?
***when he should have asked for Nancy Drew..........********
CX : there's no Christopher here, who is this?
male agent : this is Nancy Drew ..........


what the ......... hehehe sa sobrang nerbyos nabaliktad na ang mga pangalan .............LOL

[Panglao_Sand]

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of in a long time. I think this guy should have
been promoted, not fired.

This is a true story from the "WordPerfect Helpline" which was transcribed
from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations). hahaha this is a classic example of why those people are branded as stupids!

[Natural Joe]

Tech: Thank you for calling America Online, my name is Rick, how can I help you.

Customer: My screen is very fuzzy and out out focus. It was fine yesterday, but a download from your company caused this.

Tech: Well lets check a few things on your computer.

Customers Wife in the Distance: Dam it Jim, you've got my reading glasses again. Use your own.

Customer: Opps, sorry my fault, bye.

[cutegwapings]

Bwahahahahahaa!! kakalungkot! Wala kayo sa lolo ko.... joke!

Ito sa akin..

me: Thank you for choosing ......

(cust started to explain his issue..... Caller has a chinese accent, kala ko nga chinese talaga sya.)

me: How do you access your email? Are you using an email client like outlook or are you using a web browser like internet explorer?

cust: ahhmm... Could you repeat? I'm sorry.

me: How do you access your email? Are you using an email client like outlook or are you using a web browser like internet explorer?

cust: ahhh... wait, wait.. ok? thanks!

(cust asked for someone's help he said, "Ineng halika nga, di ko maintindihan sinasabi nito eh")

cust: Hello sir? Can you talk to my daughter?

me: Sure! But sir are you a filipino?

cust: Yes why? Are you a filipino?

me: Yes sir...

cust: Hahaha! Pwede ka ba magtagalog?

me: Unfortunately no sir!

cust: Sayang.. Kala ko pa naman pwede para hindi na 'ko nahihirapan.

me: You can talk to me in tagalog, Ill just respond in english.

cust: ok. So taga saan ka?

me: Actually I'm here in Philippines.

cust: Talaga??? Ang galing!! (biglang kausap sa anak niya) "Mga anak! kausap ko Filipino nasa Pilipinas sya"

anak: Talaga?? Pakausap.....

eldest daughter: Para kayong mga *****, outsourcing yan. Tagal-tagal na niyan eh..

cust (tatay): Ok, so let's finish this, mahal bayad kapag long distance. So what do I do now?

(hanggang sa matapos ang call tawa ko ng tawa) ANG SAYA TALAGA MAGING PINOY!!!!!!!!!!!

[tidus1203]

Are you allowed to tell the customer na Pilipino or even taga Pilipinas ka. Diba normally di mo pwede ireveal yung identity mo kasi you want them to believe na American ka maskin outsorced ka lang?

[DeLinkwenT]

Are you allowed to tell the customer na Pilipino or even taga Pilipinas ka. Diba normally di mo pwede ireveal yung identity mo kasi you want them to believe na American ka maskin outsorced ka lang?

dito po sa amin allowed kami sabihin... ang saya nga pag alam nilang nasa pinas kami kc minsan nakaka relate sila lalo na if nakarating na sila dito. pero from where i came from bawal. i like it better if the client knows that i'm a filipina and i'm in the philippines kc nde ka umiiwas sa tanong na where are you located and how's the weather there hehehe at least d ka magkakamali. minsan nga tuwa pa sila if nalaman nilang taga dito ang support ng devices nila :) based on my experience they actually like talking to asians coz we're friendlier and more accomodating daw :) cheers to the filipino cc agents!!!

[tidus1203]

Well thats nice. Meron palang mga companies na di hypocrite.

[DeLinkwenT]

yap ang nice noh :) kaya nga minsan tumatagal yung calls namin dahil sa kwentuhan eh hehe pero masaya kc at least nde ka umiiwas sa questions nila. minsan nga nagbabalitaan pa eh like a few months ago tanong sila lagi if affected pinas sa tsunami sa india kc yung iba sa kanila may friends dito. it's really nice to talk to them minsan nga tanong pa *** isa kung san daw gawa yung "barong" using an american accent ha kc daw ang ganda daw ng material etc etc la lang :)

[gracey_12]

meron sa account namin, newbie sha. we have kasi this line na "we're just a REPOSITORY of information..." at ang hirit ba naman ni bakla eh "we're just a SUPOSITORY of information"...nagkakanda-iyak na kami kakatawa kasi ba naman ginawa kaming pampasok sa ****...hehe...
meron pa shang "okay mam, let's keep the ball rolling, next item please"
"i'll relish the fact mam"--d ko gets talaga to ever
"a while back ago" -redundant

all these courtesy of supository...

[gracey_12]

all these happened nung last few calls ko....

ang kulit nung officemate ko eh may kausap ako...sumigaw ako bigla ng "inaano ba kita?! kaya ka nahihiwalayan ng girlfriend mo eh!" then i forgot na hindi pala ako naka-mute and all the consumer said "what? what about my girlfriend?"

then meron *** lollipop na shape ng paa na pumuputok pag nasawsaw sa candies....kumakain ako nun while may kausap...eh d ko maintindihan coz pumuputok nga *** candy...sabi ko "wait lang kasi pumuputok pa eh"

[TipZyGirl]

eto naman sa akin

Me: thanks for calling s******, how can i help u today?
cust: blah,blah, blah
me: i'll be glad to help you, with your concern today, may i have your moblie number starting with the area code
cust: blah, blah...
Me: thanks, can u please verify ur name, passowrod or your social security number starting with the area code (huh?!)
Cust: what?! does my social security number have an area code?!

[chubbie]

was an applicant for a call center & had my fone sim...
Me: Company. Good Morning! This is ****. HOw may i help you?
Caller: oh, hi! I want to send a package to tokyo.

After getting the name & add of the receiver....

Me: May I know your full name and address sir?
Caller: It's... (states his name)
Me: And your full address?
Caller: #26 Caramel street...
Me: Is it # 26 Carabao street sir?....
Caller: No, No, It's Caramel
Me: Yeah. Carabao.

(wehehehe!)

Caller: No, It's Caramel.
ME: Oh, Caramel. What item do you wanna send sir?
Caller: hmmm.... aaaaa.... a book.
Me: HUH??? a boob?! (mejo nag-isip pa ko...) oh! a book!
Caller: I guess you have some technical problems with your fone.....

(nyiiiiiiiiii.... nakakahiya talaga)

[kilobytes]

up lang po natin ang saya saya eh

[purple_pink888]

there was this agent in our account who was really a pain in the *** for customer

here goes..

agent: thank you for calling (company) can i have your order or customer number please?

cust (irate): i am going to smash this computer into your face!

agent: is that a desktop or laptop?

hehehehehe

[dragonrower]

received this in my email

Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are
technologically
challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin' yet". This is an
excerpt from a Wall
Street Journal article:

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press
Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where
the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining
that her mouse was
hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover
turned out to be the
plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get
his computer to
fax anything.
After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
discovered the man
was trying to fax a piece of paper- by holding it in
front of the monitor
screen - and hitting the, "Send" key.

4. Yet another, Dell customer called to comp! lain
that his keyboard no
longer worked.
He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap
and water and soaking
the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
washing them
individually.

5. A Dell technician received a call from a
customer who was enraged
because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an
invalid."
The tech explained that the computer's "bad"
command and "invalid"
responses ... shouldn't be taken personally.

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble
printing documents. He
told the technician that the computer had said it
"couldn't find printer."
The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer -
but
that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech
Support couldn't get her
new Dell Computer to turn on.
After ensuring the computer w as plugged in, the
technician asked her
what happened when she pushed the power button. ! Her
response, "I pushed
and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing h happens."
The "foot pedal"
turned out to be the computer's mouse..


8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to
say her brand new
computer wouldn't work.
She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and
sat there for 20
minutes waiting for something to happen.
When asked what happened when she pressed the power
switch, she asked,
"What power switch?"

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing
software and rang for
support.... "I put in the first disk, and that was OK.
It said to put in
the second disk, and had some problems with the disk.
When it said to put
in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in.
" The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"
implied to remove Disk
1 first.

10. A story from a Novell Net Wire SysOp:

CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken - and I
am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that
fixed?"
TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my
computer."
TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped,
it's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a
trade show? How did you
get
this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know
anything about a
promotional... It just has '4X' on it." At this point,
the Tech Rep had to
mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was
laughing too hard.
The caller had been using the load drawer of the
CD-ROM drive as a cup
holder and snapped it off the drive.

11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a
problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was "running it under
windows." The woman
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that
is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a
window and his printer is
working fine."

12. And last but not least:

TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control
and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of
the screen. Now
type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P' ".
TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
CUSTOMER: "I ain't gonna to do that!"

[boi_bibo]

i remember nung asa call ako handling ____ finance.

caller: (cursing a person na sa kabilang linya tapos sabay balik sa kin)
Ei, can I use my ATM in applying for a balance transfer?
teka nga pala, pinoy ka ba?

me: (sa sobrang kaba napasagot ako bigla) no sir.

caller: ah ok.. i thought you are a filipino.

got it guys? hehehehe....


grabeh ang slow ko...3x ko ata binasa 'to tsaka ko lang nagets bwhehehe kakahiya

[kilobytes]

6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble
printing documents. He
told the technician that the computer had said it
"couldn't find printer."
The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to
face the printer -
but
that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.


grabe nakakaaliw toh hahahaa

[uRprincess]

nako,,, we have different kinds of bloopers on floor!! hahahaha!!
this is so funny!!

story #1
agent: before we proceed,i need to have some information bout you..so can i have your billing address please?

cust:[dictating her address very fast] 5687 gruda st. apartment number 11A -------- rhode island

agent: (because of confussion he ask).. ooohhh.. im sorry ms cust i wasnt able to get the last part..mmm...was that a ROAD or an ISLAND??

:lol:

[Brother Beer]

hehe... this took place on our first week on the floor. kakatapos lang ng training, and call center virgins pa kami lahat nun. a team mate of mine was having a hard time with the calls that her natural accent keeps poping up. one day we were all on auto-in and waiting for the first call to come into our team. siya yung nakakuha nung first call, kaso sobrang taranta nya, sumablay yung openning spiel nya...

agent: tingkyu fur killing ______, dis is...

napatalon yung coach namin sa upuan nya, tapos lahat kami napatingin sa kanya sa gulat! grabe talaga yun!

[shasi]

'to namna galing sa friend ko....

one night sobrang dami daw talaga ng prank calls....

ding ding...

csr: hello this is blah blah blah....thank u for calling to order the blah blah blah

caller: hi....can u hear voices????

csr: pardon me???

caller: can u hear voices????

csr (drop dead serious voice): NO! I SEE DEAD PEOPLE!

hehe turns out na line check pala sya...tawa na *** daw nga tawa un nag lline check... :crazytongue:

[EcKo_01]

i = eyeball :glee:

[atomica]

sali ako... i'm a tech support; i wanna share this experience:

agent: Thank you for choosing company, my name is...how may i help you?

caller: son(sweet old american lady), help me!!! There's a SHARK inside my computer, oh my god, its getting nearer and nearer! it'll bite me!!!

...it turned out that she's looking at the screen saver of her computer... hehehe

[kilobytes]

up ulit natin napakasaya nito!!!

[mugukiller]

o cge....

scenario: assisting ako sa kapwa agent para mag relief kasi mag break na sya...

kaka upo ko pa lang.... nag punch ng nbr na kailangang i-dial.... at nag start ang timer, senyales na nag connect ang call...

pero walang ring, wala ring sumasagot... 3 seconds... 5 seconds... 10 seconds... wala pa rin...

akala ko sira ang console.... un pala... di ko naisaksak headset ko sa jack....

ang gleng gleng!!!

[Fenix]

9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing
software and rang for
support.... "I put in the first disk, and that was OK.
It said to put in
the second disk, and had some problems with the disk.
When it said to put
in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in.
" The user hadn't realized that "Insert Disk 2"
implied to remove Disk
1 first.


hindi naman kapanipaniwala ito...
paano makakarating sa 3rd disc yung installation kung sa 2nd disc may problema na? (i.e., hindi nya tinanggal yung 1st disc)
wala lang...

[kilobytes]

ako naman d ko alam kung nakakatuwa meron kasi akong cu na ang kulit kulit, lahat ng makita sa screen binabasa nya naisip ko tuloy ang AHT ko (average handling time) kaya sabi ko sa kanya

agent: all right mam while you are reading that im gonna put you on hold for about two minutes im just going to make a deeper research about that issue ok?

CU: but im still reading it!

amp* magbasa ka ng encyclopedia

[kilobytes]

up po natin hehehe share naman ***

[power(bubbles)]

i just had one. while recapping the customers itin i accidentally got my words jumbled this is my bloopers "Sir, you will need to bring those tickets with you at airport when you check-in if not you will be denied boarding by the plane"!! (duh..) it was so humiliating luckily the customer did not noticed it by after i uttered the statement i told myself out loud did i just say that, then i began stuttering. yun lang

[athena_ph]

Some booboos from the floor....

Customer: I am moving down South for a couple of months. I need to take the services with me.
Agent: Alright sir, are you renting your own home? (anu daw?!)

*****

Mr. Johnson: I just want to know my account number so I could send the payment via Western Union Quick Collect.
Agent: Mr. Johnson, do you have a pen and a ballpen? (ayos!)

****

[blue_oranges]

mga bloopers sa floor namin..

tsr: can I hold you for a minute?

cust: sure..

---

tsr called back cust to follow up on the status of the computer.

cust: somebody already called me about it. everything is fine as of the moment. he said he'll just call me back tomorrow.

tsr: oh, ok. he must be my teammate to whom I assigned the callback.
(to the another agent) Psst! Tinawagan mo na ba 'tong customer na 'to, si Noel? Sabi may tumawag na daw sa kanya, pero wala naman log dito.

other tsr: oo, tinawagan ko na yan. kakatapos ko lang ng log, baka ngayon lang pumasok.

cust: uhmm... ma'am, you're not on mute..

**limot nyang i-mute habang tagalog to the max sya.

---

tsr: ok, what happened? what do you on the screen now?

cust: nothing.

tsr: wala?

----

tsr: now, I want you to press F2 as soon as you see the D**L logo.

cust: ok...

cust: nothing's happening..

tsr: tap on it a few times..

cust: nothing's happening..

tsr: make sure that's F2 you're pressing ok..

cust: yeah, I'm pressing the letter F and the number 2 at the same time..

---

in the middle of reinstalling XP, nakatulog yung tsr. at biglang nagising.

tsr: ok! is the power cable plugged in?

[lolo inosentes]

ANG SAYA NG THREAD NA ITO!

ito narinig ko lang sa trainor ko, pero narinig ko din sa ibang agents on the floor.

technical support for desktop computers, old lady ang customer, tungkol sa optical mouse niya...

CUSTOMER: my mouse is not working, it doesn't have a "ball."
TECH: your mouse is an optical mouse, that's why it does not have a ball.
CUSTOMER: no! you don't understand, my mouse is not working, it does not have a "ball."
(old lady could not understand what an optical mouse is so the tech spent about 30 minutes on her just trying to explain why her mouse does not have a "ball.")
TECH: ma'am, may i place you on hold for a minute to...
(TECH places the customer on hold, then takes a deep breath out of frustration, then goes back to the customer)
TECH: thank you for holding ma'am, the reason your mouse does not have a "ball" is your mouse is a FEMALE mouse. Since it's a FEMALE mouse, it's a SUPERIOR mouse. It does not need to have a "ball."
CUSTOMER: oh! i understand now. well why didn't you say so right away!? ...

one satisfied customer na naman :lol:

heto pa isa:

for a telephone company account:

my team mate provisioned the order of the customer and just summarized what had been done to the account. before hanging up and giving the closing spiel, he asked...

AGENT: do you have any questions before i FINISH you?

tawa kami nang tawa dito nang marinig namin ito, pati sya nagulat ng marinig niya ito lumabas sa mouth niya...tawa din sya eh.pati yung customer niya natawa din! nyehehehe :bop:

[Princess_Sniper]

Ang sumasagot ng telepono sa bahay namin, mga katulong. Marunong rin ba kayong maglaba?

pag sumagot ka ba ng telepono sa opisina nyo JANITOR / JANITRESS ba ang role mo?

g*g* k *** eh, hindi ka marunong tumancha ng words mo eh. :bop: :grrr:

[supersleepy]

grabeh ang slow ko...3x ko ata binasa 'to tsaka ko lang nagets bwhehehe kakahiya

hahaha! ako rin 5,6,7x pa ata.. alam ko nakakatawa eh.. tataka ako san ang punchline? ehehhehehhe.. :rotflmao:

yun pala.. kewlness! NICE ONE! *okay* :bop:

[supersleepy]

GRABE! saya saya ng thread na to! tawa ako ng tawa! hahahaha!!! =)

[cvgally21]

dis 1st story is not my own. i have a co-ccr who's offering a free phone to a cust: here it goes.....

ccr: so ma'am wud there be anything else aside from ur billing problem?

cust: oh no that's all honey (old sweet lady)

ccr: u know what ma'am bec u're a valued cust of.........i'll give u a free phone(benta na ang lola mo)

cust: honey i'm not interested sorry

ccr: isn't nice to give ur phone a husband?!(ano po?hehehe)

cust: baby what u mean is to give my husband a phone

after namin marinig un gusto na namin bumili ng phone na may asawa
:bop: :rotflmao: :naughty:

[cvgally21]

cust called in to cancel vision & vcommand

ccr: thank you for calling.....this is......how can i help you today?

cust: hi this is mrs. smith i just want to take off the vision & vcommand

ccr: i can help u w/ that may i ask for ur phone # blah blah blah

ccr: ok ma'am i already take off the features on your plan is there anything else? (eto na....hahaha)

cust: WHAT?!? ur taking off my pictures?! don't you ever take that off! :eek: (anong pictures? di naman ako bisaya)

nag freak out ang cust nung maliwanagan di pictures kundi features tawa sya ng tawa :depressed: :rotflmao:

[`oraNge`]

##############

caller: are you a live person?
acct specialist: yes ma'am
caller: thank goodness i'm talking to a real person!!!!

##############

caller: can you help me with my problem?
acct specialist: yes sir
caller: you're not kidding me?
acct specialist: how may i help you sir?
caller: really now?
(what was he thinking!)

##############

handling irrate calls (usually amusing and funny...)

##############

acct specialist: well, i do understand sir but you can also get hbo and cinemax....
caller: yeah right! hbo and cinemax your ***!!!

##############

acct specialist: we will be sending you a bill (mistakenly pronounced as ey-bill)
caller: whaaatttt???? you call me evil???? you haywitt monkey!!!

##############

acct specialist: ma'am, we are not trying to double charge you on your bill....
caller: sure you are!! i'm gonna sue you and your company! you'll be on tomorrow's paper.... i'll have my lawyer handle this for me..... you all are liars!!!! (shouting mode you won't wanna listen to)

##############

[Princess_Sniper]

up ulit natin...

btw, i just had this call, i stuttered terribly at most points of my call (outbound), sweet jesus gave me a sweet patient lead that evening. i have to ask him every question ive got on my script with a lot of options that i had to read to him. he mustve realized im having a lot of trouble with my call, and a big part of that was because im not yet familiar with the system (got transferred from one center to another with the same account). by the end of the call, closing ang lola mo: "that will be all the information i need right now, thank you very much for your time and have a good day." and you sense in my voice "what a relief" talaga when i got through the call. he said back "thank YOU" then he hung up on me with a light click. one complete one hour, bull that system, slow kasi!

[Princess_Sniper]

up ulit natin...

btw, i just had this call, i stuttered terribly at most points of my call (outbound), sweet jesus gave me a sweet patient lead that evening. i have to ask him every question ive got on my script with a lot of options that i had to read to him. he mustve realized im having a lot of trouble with my call, and a big part of that was because im not yet familiar with the system (got transferred from one center to another with the same account). by the end of the call, closing ang lola mo: "that will be all the information i need right now, thank you very much for your time and have a good day." and you can sense in my voice "what a relief" talaga when i got through the call. he said back "thank YOU" then he hung up on me with a light click. one complete one hour, bull that system, slow kasi! :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[lolo inosentes]

caller: are you a live person?
acct specialist: yes ma'am
caller: thank goodness i'm talking to a real person!!!!

this personally happened to me too :D

[`oraNge`]

i monitored one of this call:

cust: can i get your operator id please.
agent: sure sir. it's f-3-c, fox-3-Zoo
cust: what?
agent: (sounding impatient) it's f-3-c, fox-3-ZOO!!!

lols! :)

[i'm a walrus]

i'm not working for any callcenter. napadaan lang po ako. i find the postings on this thread very hilarious. check the link below and u'll find it equally funny and somewhat related to ur works.

http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/index.htm

just click on the " jump to page 1" at left navigation bar.

[`oraNge`]

i'm not working for any callcenter. napadaan lang po ako. i find the postings on this thread very hilarious. check the link below and u'll find it equally funny and somewhat related to ur works.

http://chroniclesofgeorge.nanc.com/index.htm

just click on the " jump to page 1" at left navigation bar.


hahahaha! very funny...had a good laugh! :rotflmao:

[mugukiller]

parang pinoy si george.... ehehehhehe

[observer]

I just wanna get this up again.... any more funny stories? :D

[t a m i z Z z ™]

agent : ok ma'am we have to set up your home page. just type in the url address home.****.com

cust : what'ja say i hafta type in again?

agent: home. h-o-m-e home.****.com


cust: h o N e?

agent: M ma'am h, o, m, as in mary, e.

cust: P as in perry?

agent: MARY ma'am M!

cust: now honey, dont go shoutin at me. i aint deaf and i can hear ya perfectly well. now, what didja say i hafta type in? hope.****.com?

-hehe.. hope u get it guys ^___________^

[cust0m3r]

a teamate of mine once said to a customer "i do apologize for the long coming of your bill.."
i-translate naten sa tagalog... "matagal na pagdating the bill... " dedma *** customer..

[Papichulo168]

Overheard one of my agents:

"You don't have to worry Ma'am (about the features of the phone), if you have problems activating those features just call na lang customer service."

[esrag]

Check this site out!

www.ilovecustomers.ouch.ws :lol:

[kilobytes]

ahihi dati akong tambay sa thread na to ahh hehe na miss ko to..

[bronxdude]

i have one...

sa account ko dati, we go thru series of challene questions. eh *** cq ng cx is "what is your mother's maiden name" here's the story

me : can i ask for your security question?
cx : go ahead
me : WHERE is your mother's maiden name?
cx : its between her first and last name
me : thank you so much for the info.

tas hold ko ** tas super tawa kme nung mga ofcm8s ko na nakarinig hahahhaa!

[Brother Beer]

hahaha! now thats funny!

[iratootsie]

Hey, i am not just from team phoenix, im also from bay bakat // Notoriouz BAY :D :D :D

team phoenix from rmh?

[lextripp]

eto nangyari to sa west contact services muntik ng materminate barkada ko dahil **

tsr while trying to pull up the account cust was explaining about the problem

tsr: shut up im pulling up ur account ( nakalimutan mag mute)
kamalas malasan nahuli ng QA

buti n lang nasalba ng TL ko. sa ibang callcenter panigurado tanggal n pag ganon

[shiesha]

dami samin...

-agent: "thank you for calling *****, this is airene parilo sleeping...

-agent: "alright sir, may i have your social security guard.." (number dapat diba? asus... shungak shungak na sa antok!)

-agent: "i have your name here as, paul dean, that'll be P for pusit, A for apple, U for umbrella, L for larry, and then D for danggit, E for eggnog, A for apple and N for nancy.. is that correct sir?
customer: "uhhh... yeah.. i guess so" ->wahahahah

-agent: "may i have your reference number mrs. robinson..."
-mrs. robinson: " yes i do!"

-agent: "sir, can you spell that pls?"
-customer: "ok, that'll be k for cake...."

-agent: "ms politsky, may i have your account number pls.."
-customer: "ok.. it is.. ay anu ba yun?... ah eto pala.. ok..ok..ok my account number is...."

-agent: thank you calling.. (name of the bank) and remember ma'am.. JAPAN: just always pray at night."
-customer: oh thank you.. i will remember that!"

[catchthatstar]

cust: so where are you located?
me: sir, i'm from the philppines.
cust: oh, how's the weather there? it's very cold here right now.
me: it's kind of warm here today.
cust: so do you have snow in the philippines?
me: no sir. this is a tropical country. we only have two seasons.
cust: how about in the mountains?

-----------------

from my co-worker:

agent: let me see if i understand your issue correctly, you can't correct am i connect?

-----------------

***while we're rebooting the custmr's computer

cust: my computer is so slow.
me: have you considered upgrading your computer sir?
cust: what's that for? isn't that why i got DSL, to make my computer faster?
me: oh no sir. A DSL connection makes your internet connection but not your computer.
cust: so DSL is useless then?

-------------------

me: ma'm could you please look for the icon of your anti-virus software at the lower right portion of your screen, next to the clock.
cust: where's the clock?
me: ma'm it's located at the lower right portion of your screen.
cust: where's the lower right portion?

GRRRRRRRRRRR!

[shiesha]

eto pa

my story-- ng dahil sa lumpya...
-customer: "where are you guys located?"
-me: "your call has been routed here in makati phils sir."
-customer: "holy ****! nooooooo waaayy! are you sure? you sound very southern.."
-me: "yes sir"
-customer: "so, are you filipino?"
-me: "uhu.."
-customer: "creepy crap! maebuhaey! kaemuste kena?
-me: "im good mr mcdermont!"
-customer: "do you know how to cook lumpiyea?" (lumpya)
-me: "yeah"
-customer: "can you teach me?"
-me: "we have to submit this application first sir.. " (application is a sale for me)
-customer: "sure go ahead.. and submit one for my wife and daughter too"
wahahahaha.... galeng!

[geronimo]

eto sa kin mismo:


me: ok sir we need to check if your pc has a valid ip address

cust: and how do you go about doing that?

me: let's open the command prompt, click the start button then select run and type c-m-d.

cust: c-n-b?

me: no sir, c as in charlie, m as in mike, d as in delta

cust: oh c-m-t!

me: no it's C-M-D.

cust: c-m-b?

me: (****) CMD... c - customer, m - must, d - die!!

[observer]

ako naman... during a sup call:

me: may I put you on hold for a couple of minutes while I transfer you to my supervisor?

c: ok...

(after 2 mins. wala pa rin sup ko coz may call. I go back to the cust.)

me: thank you for patiently mating, ma'm. (Then I realized what I just said) Oh, I mean, thank for waiting! (I don't know if she noticed what I said, siguro hindi na dahil irate, pero pag mute ko tawa ako ng tawa...) :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[Amuro_Ray]

hmm my contribution:

"Thank you for calling....."

Customer is an Indian immigrant na may pagkabobo so slowly naasar na ako. So we went through troubleshooting steps. Now when we are going to activate msconfig in Run:

Me:Ok sir please type this as I spell it. M as in Mike, C as in Charlie
*customer interrupts:C.....as in COCONUT?
Me: YES SIR! C as in COW :rotflmao:

[mikki_pretty]

eto kwento lang saken ng friend ko..

it's an outbound call center wherein they will sell stuff from their company.. however, she has a friend who's sort of having fun..

friend: hello, may i please speak to Mr. Wong?
cust: yes, this is Mr. Wong!
friend: (nagulat kse meron ngang Mr. Wong! nataranta ngayon).. is this Mr. Wong?
cust: (irate na sya nito, kulet kse nung friend) yes! this is Mr. Wong. what's this all about?!? (shouting already).
friend: um.. this is about... (thinking, tas nakakita sya ng magazine na may chinese new year picture) this is about.. DRAGON!
cust: DRAGON?! WHO IS THIS???

ginawa na *** nung friend, binabaan na lang nya ng phone.. hehe! un lang!

[bebeB0Y]

TSR: So sir, is the SOLID light BLINKING?
Cust.: What???

[jiggaman6]

Hehe ako naman.

I was in an outbound acct before. I already made the sale and I was just verifying the info. We were calling golf courses in the states.

Me: Ok sir how many holes do u have? (dapat how many holes does your course have)
Client: Hahaha. Well I have 5 in my face and shall I start counting? (nakisakay ba)

Simula nun, I ask nalang "Is this an 18 hole golf course?" para nde na magkamali. Hehehe.

Regarding Filipino clients, yeah it's funny. I was talking to someone and the moment I said his last name (Bautista) he asked me to repeat it. So I said Bautista. Apparently, Americans announce it as BATISTA. So he asked me if I was a Filipino and I said yes. Sabi nya "kaya pala bautista ka ng bautista eh. hahaha. so anong kalokohan to?" So I still said my spiel. Sabi nya "sige tutal pinoy ka naman eh" and made the sale.:)

[lazy_agent]

back in 2004 i was really scared to take calls hehe. i even said this to a customer (" i apologize i am just a trainee") those days..crazy

it will always put a smile on my face ... wow after 2 years man

[geronimo]

ako ulet.. it was my first day sa floor tapos ewan ko kung bakit pero walang kuryente non.. bale ang bukas lang e ang mga telepono. so *** akong k-base or whatever... so eto na si first call..


TOOT!

ako: thank you for calling... my name is blahblah....
may i have the model no. of the device that you are using?

cust: i'm using a di-624

so i went ahead and helped the client with his concern only to find out na *** device pala ni customer e from a competitor of our client... kamalas-malasan ko monitored pala yung call na yun.

[anne hataway]

ako naman napagtripan ko lang one time na magsinungaling about my location.the cust asked where are you located.eh i saw na taga-california siya so pinili ko yung state na medyo malayo.i said oh,im currently in Ohio. she said "really?" so how's the weather there?.haha sobrang natameme ako for a moment tapos buti na lang naka pull-up yung yahoo.hinanap ko kagad yung temp dun sa location tapos sabi ko "oh it's quite hot here" sabay binanggit ko ba yung temp.tapos pag mute ko,tawa ako ng tawa. my tl is listening to my call then and im hearing her laughing as well. :)

[Altwegg]

For sure by the time I'm on poduction floor, I'll have lots of entries here.

:glee:

[sunshine892]

after opening spiel:

agent: how may I address you?
cust: 1217 apt #3 rose drive, florida
agent: any nickname, ma'am?

(okay...)

=======================================

after giving the troubleshooting steps, cust became non-responsive, SOP says we need to ping 3x before giving the non responsive spiel:

agent: were you able to do the troubleshooting steps, katie?
cust: ......

after two minutes,

agent: are you still there?
cust: ......

after two minutes,
agent: katie, are you there?
cust: no...

waaaaa, multo!!!!!!!!

========================================

after customer gave a telenovela explanation of his issue,
agent: i see...
cust: what do you see???

=========================================

agent: which windows operating system are you using on your computer?
cus: windows office XP 2000

huh???!!!???

:rotflmao:

[Mangulit_Lang]

MINE NAMAN!!

Customer: I want to inform you in advance that im visually challenge (aka bulag)

me : Ok we could troubleshoot never the less. Tell me about your problem...

Cust: Having problems with my Outlook express. the emails are not going out. .... . . . (mahabang kuwentuhan)

Me: Ok ma'am, what can you SEE on your screen? (Ngek!!) :bashful:

[sunshine892]

:naughty:

agent: May I have a brief overview of the reason why you are contacting us today?

cust: yes

:bop:

[Econ_major]

i did say "kwan" while giving a Not Found Report... the caller got irate

[shiesha]

isa pa ulit --->

me: yes sir, there is a transaction fee for the balance transfer, and that would be 3%.
cust: 3%?! ***** ang laki naman!

cust: so, what's your nationality
agent: well sir, i am a half filipino, half filipina.:naughty:
cust: oh, ok..

me: would you like to add that amount?
cust: yes! and add three bottles of champaign too!
( sir, credit card po kami, hindi wine shop)

[10326251]

cust called in to cancel vision & vcommand

ccr: thank you for calling.....this is......how can i help you today?

cust: hi this is mrs. smith i just want to take off the vision & vcommand

ccr: i can help u w/ that may i ask for ur phone # blah blah blah

ccr: ok ma'am i already take off the features on your plan is there anything else? (eto na....hahaha)

cust: WHAT?!? ur taking off my pictures?! don't you ever take that off! :eek: (anong pictures? di naman ako bisaya)

nag freak out ang cust nung maliwanagan di pictures kundi features tawa sya ng tawa :depressed: :rotflmao:


sprint ka 'no? from tp?

[manna@four]

hey there. im new in this call center business...but i think it's so cool working here. im currently working at Clientlogic Baguio. anyway i'll post some stories here soon (sana meron para naman may mabasa kayo) hehehehe. well, good luck to all WAVE 35 people....lalo na sa team ni tonee!!!! nyahahaha!!!!

:bashful: :teehee: :silly:

[iluv_cheesecake]

just wanna share funny moments over the phone:

cust calling on how to setup VoIP.. (issue is unsupported.. BEYOND OUR SCOPE OF SUPPORT-- we are supporting DSL ISP Acct)

cust: are you familiar with lingo VOIP setting? ive been trying to connect this and hopefully contact my relatives and family from other country.
me: ohh lingo? you mean like sunday?
(i intentionally did it coz ive got his feeling that the cust is pinoy! basing from his accent)
cust: so you are a filipina? ahah!
me: i just giggled.. hahaha!
cust: (speaking in tagalog) lam mo balak ko magtayo ng callcenter sa pinas.. kaya ko pinagaaralan etong VOIP, pag nagsetup ako kukunin kita ha...

we ended up talking about how he misses the philippines... still a good call though i referred him to OEM, or lingo support site.

================================

me: said my opening spiel...
cust: ive been having this problem, my computer is not connecting to the internet
me: oh ill be more than happy to assist you sir, i would just need to ask you a couple of questions to further isolate the issue.
cust: go ahead..
me: when was the last time were you able to connect? were there any changes on your comp recently?
cust: (having a hard time explaining the issue) hmmm.. i just can not connect, kasi naman etong anak ko eh..
me: (having an idea that the cust is pinoy) ohh ok.. what did your kid do the last time he accessed the internet or used the computer?
cust: (acting so amazed! that i was able to understand the last few words he said) pinay ka noh???
me: hihihihih! go ahead sir, you can explain it in tagalog..
(during troubleshooting.. cust eagerly and persuasively tempts me to speak tagalog)
me: im sorry sir but as much as i would love to speak tagalog, i cant! we are not allowed to speak in our own native language.
cust: bahala ka! masarap magtagalog...
me: honga! i know but we still can not... (we both giggled and laughed, after realizing that i said HONGA!)

================================

[prEttyNdisTress]

**bump**

I love this thread...

[blue_tooth]

i heard this sa officemate ko during halloween.we're on outbound campaign

agent: hi. May i please speak with Mr.___
cust: yes, speaking. Who's this?
agent: I'm _____ calling on behalf of ___bank, South dakota
cust:(irate) are you serious? Its halloween here. You're disturbing us!
agent:i'm sorry for that sir.Happy Halloween!

hehe..

[malditang_pusa]

eto sa kin mismo:


me: ok sir we need to check if your pc has a valid ip address

cust: and how do you go about doing that?

me: let's open the command prompt, click the start button then select run and type c-m-d.

cust: c-n-b?

me: no sir, c as in charlie, m as in mike, d as in delta

cust: oh c-m-t!

me: no it's C-M-D.

cust: c-m-b?

me: (****) CMD... c - customer, m - must, d - die!!

sounds familiar...:) :) :)

[ice_D]

since hindi nga kilala ni caller ang pc nya
ako: would you happen to know your windows version (as in OS)
caller:(with conviction) XL
ako: do you mean XP?
caller: no! XL! i have the latest top of the line PC
:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :toohappy:
**,** sige na nga Xtra Large na kung Xtra large:D

[rubberr_ducky]

kaka-resign ko lang from tp and i was just starting with ttech.

closing spiel


ok mr smith thanks for sprint pcs (mumble ng konti) i mean verizon dsl technical support...have a nice day

(from telecomms napunta sa dsl) hehehe :)

[_pinkposh_]

me while transferring call to spanish speaking reps:

Mr. Valdez, please stay on the line while I transfer your call to a Speanish Spacking Representative..

Oh di ba?

[grim_reaper1814]

this one, got this from reader's digest. hindi siya call-center pero related siya.

A couple of phones were ringing in an eye clinic,.
She picked up one and she said "Take it out, rinse it and put it back on" after talking to the person on the other line.
She was met with dead silence and then the person on the other line mustered enough confidence to say "I think I'll get another opinion".
Then the receptionist realized that the person was asking about bloodshot eyes and not contact lenses. Haha

[muffya]

ako naman inbound account ng airline sa us

me:may i have your reservation number?

cust:it's JLVGF8.

me: can you please spell that out like J for Juliet or something?The line is kinda fuzzy(in my most irate tone)

cust: ok its J as juliet, L asi n Larry, V for victor,G for golf, F for frank and the letter 8

me: what do you mean letter 8?

cust(irate): the LETTER 8!as is 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8!!!

me(in a very sarcastic tone): Oh, you mean the NUMBER 8!!!!

cust: yeah(sounding sheepish), sorry.

[grim_reaper1814]

haha ^ fgfgfd

[pinoynetwit]

Customer: Do I click on the delete button?

Pinoynetwit[inaantok and drifting into a dream state/Rapid Eye Movement sleep ]: OO!

Buti na lang binigkas ko yung "oo" with an American twang kaya di nahalata nung customer!

on another story:

Maaaaliiiigaaaayaaaaang passkow! - from an American customer who knew that my account was outsourced to the Philippines. whenever I get customers who complain about jobs being outsourced to the Philippines I always tell them that tech support is labor and time intensive since customers and tech reps need to be on the "same page". After that they clam-up and appreciate the fact that I can stay with customers for one and a half -hour and remain polite inspite of their idiocy.

[_pinkposh_]

^ rofl..

this happened naman to my fellow rep:

cx: did you cancel my account?

rep: opo

cx: what?

rep: i mean.. uh.. oo..

cx: where are you from?

at dun nagtatapos ang inaasam-asam na 100% QA ng fellow rep ko.. =)

[rubberr_ducky]

Meron akong narinig na call from of the tech support accounts sa amin. Tapos ang QA tawa ng tawa. BAKIT?

Ganito mag spell out si agent

V as in victory
I as in India
D as in Davao (talagang walang tigil si agent sa tagalog niya or di man lamang natigilan)

Customer: Huh? What's that?

Agent: Sir it's a city here!

eto pa....

After mag kwento ni customer eto naman si agent nag comment...

Agent: "Sir! you have a nice voice and it sounds like rudy hatfield!

Customer (laughing at the comment) sabay banat "Who's he?"

Agent: Basketball player Sir!

(ok sa rapport!)

[LaDY_DaWN]

:rotflmao: share ko lang.. namonitor kong call over autopilot...

Agent: Thank you for calling XBOX Live my name is ******

Customer: my first name is ***** and my last name is ***

(verification steps)

A: so how may i help you today?
C: my console has a funny smell...

A: how funny?
C: WHAT?!

A: how funny is the smell?
C: (customer now sounds irate) its hilarious!!! what the h*ll do you mean how funny?!?! i think my console just shorted itself out

*at this point i was laughing so hard... di ko na pinakinggan yung call...

[pinoynetwit]

^^^
Acrid yung smell pag nag-short. hardly a funny smell ahihihihi.

[lunedi]

Yung friend ko narinig ko ganito mag-opening spiel:

"Thank you for calling ****, this is ****, may I please have your name starting with the area code?"

[LaDY_DaWN]

^^^
Acrid yung smell pag nag-short. hardly a funny smell ahihihihi.

i think the cu and agent meant funny as in funny = strange...

lost in translation lang sila pareho...

pero kakatawa pa ren **** kung narinig mo yung call... :rotflmao:

[rexsolar]

You're good comedians, very entertaining guys*okay*

[mija]

I've heard of an agent before who was pretty good at baffling the customers with his spelling. Maybe this is due to the fact that he actually came from a seminary. For example:
P as in Psalm
E as in Eucharist
I for Immaculate Conception

[duke Pikaso]

samin naman ganito nangyari saken..

outbound toh..

Hi dis is ______ and im calling about a Free Federal Frogram.... (tuwewew.. nag mute nako at natawa sa sarili ko, then hello ng hello *** cust ko, then sabi ko sa customer) soree sir coz we are having a bad connexion, il just try to call back later..
sabay tawa nalng ulet, hehehe ayyun,

then etoh pa isa,

while dinidiscuss ko *** program, super IRATE na *** anak nung burugudur (meaning, INDIAN) na borrower kasi ayaw nyang ipa send *** package na umOO naman *** tatay nya.. ewan ko dun nag epal lang *** anak, then sabi ko...

me: Hello, are YOU still there??
anak nung borrower: YES, im still there, im LISTEN!!

potah, nag mute nalang ulet ako and tumawa! buti nalang na SALE ko! wahahaha


etoh pa!

isang agent namin, opening pa lang sablay na!

agent: HI, dis is _______, can i speak with KIVIN (Kevin) Flease.....
cust: WHAT!??? (sabay, hang up)

hehehehe...


etoh pa sa dati kong center..

nag susurvey kame b2b.. 4th question nko, ganito nangyari

me: what year did the business SNART (start)..
cust: what?? when did we started?
agent: Yeah, soree for the bad connexion ( palusot, as if bad connexion talaga kahit ndi naman)
dinig na dinig sa buong floor kasi sa lakas ng boses ko mag pitch, ayun kanchaw lang naman! snart snart... hehehehe

[pinoynetwit]

Mcaffee - binigkas nung agent na makafey

cache and cookies - binigkas na kashey and kokes. reactioni nung amerkano - whaatttttt????

[serendipity1028]

famous quotes from my friend JB, cc virgin during nesting, inbound sales.

-trying to explain to the cx that intalling the router is easy
JB: oh ma'am it's so easy you can eat a horse!
(labo diba! dapat dun im so hungry i could eat a horse! infareness benta!)

-cx wants waived shipping of the router .
JB:ok i'll email it to you.

cx:where are you located
JB: in holmdel new jersey
cx: where in holmdel?
JB: in a building!
(tambling ang customer! benta ulit!)

-building raport. cx was an IT Engineer, upon mentioning that cx was an engineer.
JB: oh so your leveling is different!
(lume-level!?)

[brad-pogi]

share ng friend ko sa call nya

Cust: i'm having trouble visiting websites. i think there's something wrong with my Internet Exploder.

Exploder daw o! haha

[nymphgoddess]

ring ring...

csr: thank you for calling (branding) blah blah.. this is blah blah..

client : Filipino ka?

csr: opo maraming salamat sa pag tawag sa blah blah.. maaari po bang makuha ang inyong pangalan?

ayun bagsak sa QA!!:rotflmao:

[rubberr_ducky]

Share ko lang eto boo boo ng agent na pinakinggan ko...

Agent: Thank for calling *****. Your problem provider. (Sabay bawi!) Your solution provider!

[ninjathet0312]

my QA asked my opinion whether this call should be escalated or not for call closing non-compliance (eh, ganun talaga ka-strict.. Third party auditor kami..american agent yung na-audit)

TSR: Have you answered all of my questions and taken care of my needs?


ayYyY juice ko 'day.


eto naman local agent ng VONGO. mejo irate na si cux kaya na-irate si agent.

CSR: Ok Mr. Customer, let's stop barking at the wrong bush...



huwaaat???!!! natawa talaga kami ng QA ko..

[kbr]

i remember nung asa call ako handling ____ finance.

caller: (cursing a person na sa kabilang linya tapos sabay balik sa kin)
Ei, can I use my ATM in applying for a balance transfer?
teka nga pala, pinoy ka ba?

me: (sa sobrang kaba napasagot ako bigla) no sir.

caller: ah ok.. i thought you are a filipino.

got it guys? hehehehe....


:rotflmao: naiintindihan nya ang tanong..hahaha:rotflmao:

[Amuro_Ray]

just bumping and resurrecting