Fatherhood [Merged]

[bagyoboy]

This thread is for fathers, fathers-to-be, and children of course.

I didn't particularly have a close relationship with my father, but I do have fond memories. He spends most of his time at work, and he wasn't quite open and expressive. Is this common between fathers and sons?

Now, I'm a father of two, and I find that work and family is a balancing act. My mother-in-law once told me that either a man is exceptional at work and poor at fatherhood, or an exceptional father and poor at work. It scared me. But somehow I don't believe that.

You're welcome to share and comment about anything about fatherhood. We all have fathers, and most guy Pexers will become fathers soon.

[CaRaMBa]

I don't believe that it's an either-or situation. I think that you can be good at both. But I'm sure it won't be easy. My dad used to be very busy, when I was growing up, since he was in the government. But he's a great dad, even with all his faults.

bagyoboy, it's nice that you're aware of what you're supposed to do. I know it's tough to balance things, but it's good that you're trying. Good luck! :)

[Eugene]

Bagyoboy,

Ayan mo dita Baguio?

Fatherhood is a responsibility and a sacrifice but surely this
is all accompanied with joy and success. The greatest part
of fatherhood is that the direction of a man is more focused,
more directed and more family centered.

The workplace takes a certain hours of our time in a day.
That's manageable, and we need it, too. But again I emphasize
that the quality of time should be spent with the family. I'm
sure you and the rest of the readers will agree with me.

Baguio-by-heart sa kanto... Eugene:):):)

[pexmanmatayman]

the thing is, if a man is not a good father, will that make his son the same? my father is the worst of its kind i think, that is why i'm scared of the thought of being a father myself. will i end up like him? (shudder):(

[clawed_out]

nope i'm not a father yet nor expecting to be one anytime soon....malayo pa mga 5 yrs pa heheheh

well, i'm also in the same situation with bagyo boy, if i'm to evaluate my relationship with my dad, i'd like to think that i did have a very plain & rough relationship with him... we never get along... it's either he's at work or busy doing something else.

mataas ang expectations nila sa mga lalaki, lalo ng pag first born, but what if i do have other goals in life na hindi nag ji-jive in sa ideal son nila? well... magulo no?

bagyoboy, love your kids...dont ever place a gap between you& your kids..

i'm also afraid that i might end up like him....but he's a good dad to us...i just dont like some of his ways.... i have my own...

[bagyoboy]

Caramba: Thanks. I appreciate it. :)

Eugene: Adattuyak Upper QM. Ayan mo itatta?

pexmanmatayman: I would like to think that it shouldn't be that way. But its really tough.

clawed_out: sandali lang yang five years. :) I'm also the eldest son. Marami nga silang expectations.

[orcom_dude]

On Fatherhood
Fatherhood I have to say is one of the greatest gifts that a man could ever have in his life. It's one of the greatest roles he could also play in this game of life. It's really saddening that there are fathers who don't see fatherhood this way. Someday, I dream of being a father myself.

On Relationships with Fathers
I am not really close to my father and vice-versa. I don't really know why. Maybe because I didn't grow up the way he wanted to be. But even if that's the case, I respect him and love him. I know he loves me too because of the little things that he does for me from time to time.

On Having Dads from Hell and Becoming like Him when it's Your Turn to be Dad
Here's the thing I believe. A kid who's had a "father from hell" may turn out to be one of two things, 1.) be like his father when he has children. I think the reason for this is vengeance. The whole "my father was like this to me and my children should feel what I went through" thought. This is really saddening., or 2.) be nothin similar to his father. I think that there are guys, though having not-so-good dads, turned out to be really great fathers. The reason behind this I think is that they were challenged to prove that they are nothing like their fathers.

On Being the Eldest Son
I'm the eldest in a brood of three guys. And you're right guys, the expectations are just way too high. Somehow, I can say that being the eldest has really helped me be responsible (most of the time). In a way, it was also a good training for me to be a father because being a kuya to a certain point demands that you act like a father to them. I am not the best kuya in the world or to my brothers but I'm trying to be one.

[Eugene]

Bagyoboy,

Trinidad ti address ko ngem agtatrabahoak ti adayo.

Imbak ta ada ka dita Upper QM. Haan kayo nalayus
idi nag-flood idi napalabas nga July?

Heard of Baguiowebinternational? Try to join the
egroups and meet friends worldwide. Padasem kabsat.

Aglaklako ti fishball ditoy kanto... Eugene:):):D

[bagyoboy]

Eugene,

Haan kami met nga nalayus idi July ta nangato kami met.

Sige, birukek man deyta ibagbagam nga baguiowebinternational.

Sagmano ti fishball mo? :D

[Fish]

What are your thoughts on it?

What are the joys/pains of being a father?

How does one prepare for it?

[Sally_Sheerz]

A Man's Guide To Pregnancy
How to Live With a Pregnant Person by John Zakour

Handy Definitions
Throughout your wife's pregnancy you are bound to hear countless words of pregnancy jargon. Here is a handy guide to what those words mean.

1st Trimester: when you wife doesn't look pregnant but acts it.

2nd Trimester: when your wife looks pregnant but doesn't really act it.

3rd Trimester: when your wife really looks pregnant and REALLY acts pregnant. Fear her.

After birth: kind of looks like the blob.

Amniocentesis: something you should be glad you never have to go through.

Amniotic sac: kind of like a really flexible football padding that covers the entire unborn baby.

Apgar score: the first of thousands of standardized tests your baby will take throughout his or her life.

Beer: something that when consumed in quantities often leads to pregnancy.

Birth canal: chances are your pretty familiar with this already.

Birthing room: a room in a hospital made to look like it's not a room in the hospital but a room in your house (especially if you keep forceps around the house). This way you'll feel more comfortable and they can charge more.

Braxton Hicks Contractions: warm up for the real thing kind of like the pregame show.

Breach baby: butt first.

Breasts: what you and the baby will be competing over for awhile.

Cervix: chances are if you are reading this book you already know this one.

Cesarean birth : just be glad you're a man.

Colostrum: it looks kind of gross but never tell your wife this.

Contractions: the things that hurt.

Craving: really really longing to eat something that seems really really bizarre to a non-pregnant person.

Crib: the thing you'll be spending most of your nights awake by.

Death threats: you may get a couple of these from your wife throughout the course of labor. Don't sweat it though, very few wives follow up on these threats.

Delivery Room: what the hospital will charge you for.

Delivery: what the doctor will charge you for.

Diaper: a cloth or plastic like object that you will grow all too accustomed to.

Dilation: the cervix is normally closed which is a good thing -- except when the baby needs to come out then the cervix needs to dilate or in less technical terms -- spread apart or slowly expand so a baby can fit through it.

Due Date: the date your wife's doctor is going to be vacationing in the Bahamas.

Fainting: what happens if you look too close at the wrong time.

Football: something that when watched in quantities often prevents pregnancies. Actually it often prevents attempts at pregnancies.

Gynecologist: a doctor who gets paid to look at things in women that you would get arrested for if you tried to look at.

Headache: the one symptom of pregnancy that actually continues and increases as the child is born and grows.

Hormones: chemical messengers released by the body that make you either craze the opposite sex or seem crazy to the opposite sex depending on your point of view.

In-laws: people who will tell you everything you are doing wrong throughout this pregnancy.

Kegel exercises: special exercises for pregnant women that will help prepare them for child birth. (Though screaming at the husband is technically not considered to be a Kegel exercise.)

Knife: something your wife may talk about using over and over again on you as she experiences the joy of child birth. I believe this is called the Bobbit syndrome.

Labor: pain.

Lamaze classes: classes where you go to learn how to do something humans have been doing for roughly 5 million years without taking classes.

Medical Insurance: if you don't have this you really shouldn't be reading this book.

Morning sickness: barfing, throwing up, tossing your cookies and the general nausea your wife may or may not go through. If you want to relate to your wife just think back to the morning after your first beer blast.

Mucus membrane: trust me, you don't want to know.

Nurse midwife: a nurse trained to delivery babies. Midwives have been around since babies started being born only now they are becoming kind of trendy making
them cooler and more expensive than they use to be.

Ob/ Gyn: a doctor who is both a gynecologist and an obstetrician; thereby making more money.

Obstetrician: a doctor who specializes in helping baby's enter the world. If all goes well he or she basically just catches, cuts, and charges.

Placenta: looks a lot like the blob on TV. It usually follows the baby out of the mom -- it's really funky looking.

Quickening: the first movement of the baby that the mommy can feel. Once it starts it grows stronger and stronger until it seems there is a full blown football game going on inside there.

Recovery room: if a pregnancy is especially tough (there are no easy pregnancies) the mom may spend some time in a this room to be closely monitored while she regains her strength so when she recovers she'll be able to give you a good thorough beating.

Rh incompatibility: a blood thing that is way beyond the scope of this book and my knowledge.

Rooming in: a modern technique stolen from the cavemen that lets the whole family hang around while the mom goes through child birth.

Sex: something that makes babies and that you won't be getting much of once the baby comes.

Sleep: something you won't be getting much of once the baby comes.

Smoking: no jokes here -- this should be avoided at all cost by and around pregnant women.

Superbowl Sunday: the day you really don't want your wife to go into labor.

Toxemia: something you don't want to deal with if at all possible.

Ultra Sound: due to kind of old but still kind of neat technology we can now use sound waves to create picture of the baby while he is inside the womb. This allows us to get actual baby pictures before we have an actual baby in our hands. Thus allowing us to really embarrass our children in later years, "look this is what you looked like when you were born." Ultrasound pictures do make lousy Christmas cards though.

Umbilical chord: the baby's life line while inside of the mommy. Some "lucky" daddies may get to cut this once the baby has made its first outside appearance.

Uterus: where the baby lives, grows, plays and generally hangs out for 9 months or so.

Vasectomy: something your wife will threaten to perform on you throughout her labor.

Video taping: something your wife will probably kill you if you do.

Water breaking: if you are in the car when this happens ACCELERATE!!!!

Wet nurse: a nurse who tries changing a new born baby at the wrong time.

Womb: a nicer way of saying uterus.

well well well, how queer that the first post is from a woman. (er, me.) just goes to show, i suppose, how you big brave MEN cringe at the thought of being a Father. come on you boys, say something.

[lwc]

mmmmm...well, this is a mommy academy. maybe they should change the category to something more gender sensitive so guys will be more encouraged....

there are not a lot of guys who are into fatherhood i guess..in fact, im wondering if Fish, the thread starter, is a man or woman.

[edseldgreat]

On being a father, in my case, its a big responsibility. I have to sacrifice a lot of things in order to provide what's best for my son.

[the_BuGs]

for me masasabi kong balance yung work at pagiging father ko.... lucky for me na ang office ko eh katabi lang ng bahay ko.. so during lunch break dinner.. nakakauwi pa ako at nakikita at nakikipaglaro...kapag kailangan nila ako sa bahay nakakatakbo agad ako...kaya bonding medyo ok.. kahit mapalo ko mga anak ko hindi nagtatanim ng sama ng loob maya maya ok na kami...

[whiskeysugar]

being a single mom..

i'm really proud dun sa mga father and father to be!!!at least hindi kayo katulad ng iba na tumalikod sa responsibility..

more power guys!!!

[Dunedain]

Before marriage...

Girlfriend: If we get married, I'll be fat and you'll leave me.
Myself: I'll bet you US$10,000 that I won't.

After marriage...

Wife: If get pregnant, I'll be fat and you'll leave me.
Myself: I'll bet you US$10,000 that I won't.

After baby...

Wife: While I exercise to bring back my slim figure, you'll leave me.
Myself: I'll bet you US$10,000 that I won't.

A few years later...

Wife: So why do you keep bugging the little one?
Myself: I enjoy collecting my daily dosage of hugs and kisses.
Wife: So why haven't you left me yet?
Myself: You still owe me US$30,000.

:lol: